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robocop

Crime

City Advertises to Lower Crime Instead of Investing in Robocop


Posted by The Editor on 03 Mar 2010 /
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The city of St. Louis is launching an advertising campaign to help with the chronic issue of car break-ins within the city limits.

The crime has blossomed in recent years, with the advent of GPS devices and MP3 players. The thrust of the new initiative is to alert motorists to not leave anything in sight inside their cars. The campaign will be managed through window posters and billboards paid for by the police department, a total of about $7,500.

The campaign announces “free beer,” or “free food,” or “free smokes,” indicating that’s what motorists offer when they leave valuables in sight.

The St. Louis tourism board must be thrilled.

Other aborted slogans for the campaign included “I hear the Royals are getting better, go park in Kansas City” and “Please police yourselves, because we’ve run out of options.”

Things like this make our city look horrible and more importantly waste funds that could be helping in other areas.  Clearly our fair city has a crime issue and we at Punching Kitty see no better option that creating our own Robocop!  He could patrol the streets 24/7 eating baby food and cracking down on car thefts and random ass shootings.  This is the perfect plan.  We realize the money on the table here is only $7,500 so the initial Robocop version would be more like a gun duct taped to the top of an radio controlled car toy than the movies Robocop, but look thats just version 1.0 dude.  Give the city a little more jack and soon enough we will have a robot with a human face walking around the city that can kill everyone but Mayor Slay and hopefully us for thinking of the idea.

via KSDK


Happening

Woman Killed While Trying to Cross I-70


Posted by The Editor on 21 Dec 2009 /
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People are stupid.

When does the idea “Hey lets cross this major interstate on foot” ever cross someone’s mind quickly followed by the even dumber thought to actually do it?

Police said Peggy Ramsey, 47, of the 30 block of Arbor Village was struck and killed on Highway 70 at Salisbury at 8:05 pm. Authorities say a 56-year old woman in a Ford Taurus, was traveling westbound on Highway 70 approaching Salisbury when a car in front of her suddenly swerved. The woman driving the Ford Taurus then noticed the victim standing in front of her in a traffic lane. She attempted to swerve, but couldn’t avoid hitting Ramsey. Police said Ramsey was pronounced dead at the scene.

The real victim here is the woman in the Ford Taurus.  Through no fault of her own, she has to live with the memory of driving through a woman at 60+ miles per hour.  That’s messed up.

There is no reason, what so ever to ever try to cross a street that busy!  Never!  …well.  Unless you just drove your van in a well-labeled toxic-waste vat and then quickly turned in to a mutant that couldn’t find help in you “friends” so you lurched out in to the street for help only to get run over by your boss. Here’s a clip:

You know what?  That was distasteful.  Even for us.

I mean, we aren’t going to delete it or anything, but I’m just saying that we know its distasteful so that you know that we know.  You know?


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