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Happening

Holy Crap, the Internet Might Have Found “Chris”!


Posted by The Editor on 24 Feb 2010 /
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Remember way back to yesterday?  About those bitches who were talking about cheating on their boyfriend and then that awesome dude got them back like a super badass?

Go check it out.  We’ll wait.

Have you ever seen a dog happier than this?  Oh, your back.  Lets continue.

Well we have an update to that story, once again, courtesy of Reddit.

Hey, How’s it going? I wanted to thank you for your craigslist post. I’m not Kris, my name is Ed. I don’t know if your story involved me or not, but it sure got things done, in my life.

My sister is a bit of a whore, and I always see her messing around with guys on facebook. I resent the fact that she does that since it would kill me to see my girlfriend whoring it up with douches. Anyway, Kris knows about her facebook “friends” but he trusts her too much. I feel bad for him at times because he pays for my sister’s living expenses, and she treats him like shit. Also, my sister has a bunch of whory coworkers in st. louis that I always see on facebook. Maybe one of those skanks was the one at the pub.

Maybe your story was about my sister’s boyfriend, and maybe it wasn’t

Whether it was my sister at the pub or not, I forwarded the email to Kris.

He replied, “thanks, I’ll let her know.”

A while later I see her facebook relationship status as single.

Was this the Chris or Kris that the guy was originally talking about?  We’ll never know, but putting the screws to one cheating skank is good enough for us!

Please, women of St. Louis, if you see this guy out this weekend, give him a freebie.  If he’s ugly, get drunk first.  It’ll be a good dead and even though you’re technically being slutty, I think its like a “get in to heaven” grey area.  I think Jesus has to be cool with it.


Media

A Redditor Gets Back at Two Cheating St. Louis Bitches


Posted by The Editor on 23 Feb 2010 /
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A story about two horrible people and one guy that got them back is making the rounds and it all took place in St. Louis.

A young, college aged woman sits down by herself and orders a Bud Light at the two-top next to us.

Shortly after, her slightly older female friend joins her.

They begin loudly discussing the fact that the young lady JUST has cheated on her boyfriend at a party. The discussion is filled with information about the sexiness of it all, the temptation, and the desire to do it again and not be caught.

So I sit, and I continue listening, they were so loud, that you couldn’t ignore them…on and on about advice about phone records, not using texts, the mentality you need in a man to cheat with and not get caught….on and on….disgusting.

Ok, so these bitches should be drug out in to the street and shot…or at least be tied to chair and made to watch those Charles Barkley Taco Bell commercials over and over again.  Our hero had a different idea though…

So I listen, and after a few minutes, the older woman says the magic words I needed to hear.

“Chris can never find out. It would kill him”

So now I have a name. Chris.

I don’t know Chris, by the way. But that’s no matter.

I pull over a chair to their two-top.

“Hi, I’m Burt. I thought I recognized you when you came in. How’s it going? I met you briefly through Chris.”

I then say: “I figured I’d come over and say Hi real quick, but seriously…and this is a bit odd….but I heard everything you just said. I’m sickened, but I am going to let Chris know everything I just overheard. Small world isnt it?”

Both females turned bleach white, and the young cheater looked like she had just seen her parents die in a fiery crash.

Well played sir.  We here at Punching Kitty salute you!

Not only is that story great, but he’s making it public to try, though most likely in vein, to alert “Chris” about his hoe that be trippin’.  Its a long shot, but its getting plenty of attention.  The post on Reddit about this has, as of this writing, 1,671 votes and 1,430 comments along with any attention his cross post on Craigslist had received.

Our advice to Chris?  If she’s really hot, get one more pitty F out of her and then get out of there buddy.

If anyone thinks they may know who Chris is, please tip us via the site or the tip line: 314-266-TIPS


Going Out

St. Louisans Find Love at Area Walmarts


Posted by The Editor on 06 Oct 2009 /
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ap_walmart_070618_msIf you don’t think Walmart is in our midwestern blood stream like that really bad case of gonorrhea we got when I fooled around with that heiress bartender stripper hooker in the parking lot of the Casino Queen [Editor's Note: Call me Porsche!], then you got another thing coming!  Not only do we buy mayonnaise in bulk there, we also tend to find love by the gallon!

One quick look through missed connections on Craigslist found 18 attempts to reconnect that person they felt an instant connection through the crowds of blue vests and hairy-backed men in sleeveless shirts.

Here are our favorites:

Collinsville Walmart – m4w – 28 (collinsville)

Saw you in Walmart this afternoon. We locked eyes as you were going into the checkout lane. I saw you again when you went to the customer service counter. Can’t get you out of my mind now! If you’d like to meet up later tonight or tomorrow for drinks, e-mail me back with what you were wearing or a picture.

“…or a picture…you know, if that’s easier.  I’m not creepy at all by the way.”  I always wonder what this type of guy’s definition of “locked eyes” is.

regarding the walmart self check girl – 25 (lake st. louis)

i read this post
and it warmed my soul,
deep from within the cockals of my heart
thank you to the brave soul
who exposed a piece of his heart
and shared it with all the world

[I see you all the time, but I don't think you see me. ]
[You are SO amazingly beautiful. And you have, by far, ]
[the most astonishingly sexy ass of any woman I have ever seen. ]
[Your ass is so incredible that it hurts... ]
[I really wish I could do things to it, and to you.... ]
[I always look forward to going to Walmart, and hoping you are there.... ]
[so I can feast my eyes on your beauty and dream... ]

now thats a deep connection

If by “deep connection” you mean, “good way to get a restraining order” then yes, it is a deep connection.

Belleville Walmart – m4m (Belleville, IL)

You were shopping at Walmart around 2:30 pm on Saturday (09/26). I noticed you looking at me so I kept circling in the area until you left. You were wearing a red t-shit, short and I believe you are from Germany. You are a very attractive young man and I would greatly enjoy the opportunity to get to know you. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but I would not be opposed to that either. I do hope that you see this and respond.

I mean not in a sexual way…unless  you think so too…then TOTALLY!

UPS guy Union Walmart – m4m – 41 (Union)

Seen you at Union walmart tues evening.very sexy hot man. You, dark salt pepper hair 5 oclock shadow. left around same time, you got in blk chev truck. caught you eye, might of been nothin but if it was, hopefully you seen what i was wearing or what i bought, let me know if interested in a little relief sometime.very discreet here

That’s one way to get a package delivered.

walmart in festus – m4w (festus)

you were wearing black boots and a denim skirt and were HOT just wanted to tell ya OMG not many women look that good anymore

This guy’s approach is to insult every other woman in an attempt to get this one particular woman he saw in passing at a Walmart.  Great plan.

Did you find love at Walmart?  …or more likely, do you go to Walmart and feel the eyes of creepy hoosiers and barely there door greeters crawling all over you?


Going Out

Do Ladies Like to be Hit On at the Gym?


Posted by The Editor on 03 Feb 2009 /
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A fellow St. Louisian asks on Craigslist:

Not really sure where this should be posted…but my question to you ladies… 

…while working out at the gym, do you/would you be open to a man approaching you? 

It’s not that I’m afraid to, I just wonder bc I wouldn’t want to intrude on “your time”, as I’m there for the main reason of working out, but sometimes can’t help one of u catching my eye! 

Let’s hear what u have to say ladies!

He also included a photo of the Cardinals logo…you know, just to be super relevant.

So, well…would you?  While you’re working up a sweat, would you want the average St. Louis dude rolling up on you asking if you come here often?

Lets collect some answers here and then I’ll post them back on Craigslist for our friend.


Happening

STL Craigslist: I’m Sorry and a Marriage Demand


Posted by The Editor on 26 Jan 2009 /
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The fun never stops over at the St. Louis corner of everyone’s favorite hooker directory, Craigslist.  We start off the week with two interesting Missed Connections.  The common thread?  Fellas demonstrating some interesting techniques with the ladies…

Mekong, 3am, I pushed you off the booth – m4w (Mekong)

I just wanted to say “that I am so sorry”. I didnt mean to push you off the booth last night. I felt like such an ass. I totally deserved it when you punched me in the face. Once again. Sorry. [Source]

Kinda wish he would elaborate as to what happened up to the point where he pushed a girl off a booth in such a vicious way that he deserved and punch in the face…

That was a good one, but this one is really the best of Craiglist: Weird, odd location, even odder title, and a strong sense of entitlement…

Do I have a chewing problem? First Watch – m4w – 32 (in orbit)

You are the most beautiful girl in the world. I am going to marry you. [Source]

Are we to assume that some woman came up to him and asked him if he had a “chewing problem” (which you know had to be gross…I mean what “chewing problem” can you think of that doesn’t involve seeing chewed food in some form or fashion) and because of that interaction, this dude is making it his life’s work to marry her…and girl that by all assumed measure thinks he is gross.  Yes.  I believe thats it.  

Keep up the good work Casanovas of St. Louis!


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