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I don’t want to shock any of you, but apparently we are going through some kind of economic depression.  Its been a bit of a secret, but apparently it is hitting the city of St. Louis.  Get ready for the budget cuts! What are we talking about?  City Hall jobs could be cut, less trash pick up, down to once a week, and even possibly losing the Forest Park Rangers!

People living in St. Louis city are bracing for the budget ax to fall. the board of aldermen are looking for ways to cut millions of dollars from the city budget.

Mayor Slay’s spokesperson, Jeff Rainford, says it’s the city’s pension plan that’s causing the massive shortfall. He sys police, fire and many city workers have pensions that are virtually guaranteed.

Some of the proposed solutions for St. Louis’ money woes:

10. Over/under pools on number of murders in the city from month to month.

9. “St. Louis City Police: We’re Officially Cool With Bribes Now!”

8. Every bridge to Illinois now has a toll.

7. What kid wouldn’t want to have Mayor Slay appear at their birthday party?!

6. “Well, exactly how on fire is your house?  Gas ain’t cheap lady!”

5. Do you ever wonder what happens to all the coins people throw in the fountains around the city?  Stop wondering.

4. The mayor will take a substantial pay cut. Well, lets not go crazy!

3. Hey Matt Holliday!  Wanna buy Wellston?

2. The new VP Fair: The Spin Doctors. On every stage.  Every night.

1. Once their check clears on the Arch, Cincinnati Ohio will be the new gateway to the west!

via KTVI

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According to a new report on the St. Louis economy, we won’t return to the pre-recession job availability level until 2014.

The region will have lost 64,700 jobs, or 4.7 percent of its pre-recession total, by the time the local economy turns around in five years, according to a forecast released Monday by IHS Global Insight.

“While most areas will begin increasing employment again in 2010, it will be tepid, with only 118 metros crossing the 1,000-job mark next year,” IHS said. “Solid gains will not return for the majority of the country until 2011.”

So that sucks.  You know us though!  Always with the silver lining!  Check out this awesome shiz:

Detroit, Cleveland, Providence, R.I., Milwaukee and Hartford, Conn., will take until after 2015 to recover,

Pfffffttttt.  We’ll beat Detroit back by a whole year!  God you suck Detroit.

What does this mean for our city?  Well 2014 is 5 years off from now, so as we see it thats a whole class of high school girls that are going to graduate, find no jobs and have to start stripping.  [Editor's Note: Hell no they aren't going to college.  Not with the St. Louis public school system!]  So while jobs will still be down, and least other things will be going up!

Man we are awesome at finding silver linings!

via St. Louis Business Journal