The Rams suck.  You know it.  We know it. The Rams themselves?  Eh. Not so much.

Marshall Faulk knows it though. Faulk expressed his feelings in the Sporting News:

“[The Rams have] earned the No. 32 spot (the last spot in the league).  It’s well-deserved.  The Rams are more worried about firing their trainer and equipment manager than they are worried about the coaches responsible for the play on the field.  That says a lot.  When the first offseason move you make is to fire your trainer?  Perfect.”

The Rams first move this offseason was to fire the long-time and well-liked trainer Jim Anderson.  It is just another step in the checklist that Rams’ coach Steve Spagnuolo and GM Billy Devaney have to scrub everything and everyone in Rams Park that was around before them.  Other steps included taking down photos of the Greatest Show on Turf teams and failing to invite any player alums to help the coaching staff.

Needless to say, this has rubbed former Ram greats that hate seeing their team going 1-15 the wrong way.

To quiet of the complaints, Spagnuolo has announced that he is creating a “Pro Bowl Wall” at Rams Park to celebrate current and former Rams that have made the Pro Bowl, which by the way is the weakest of all All-Star games and is such an honor that half the team drops out of the game every season.

We also hear that right next to the Pro Bowl Wall will be Spagnuolo’s new Turd Polishing machine.

via NBCSports.com

For the second time in the last few weeks the Globe Democrat, St. Louis’ newest (but also totally old) news source, has made themselves look a little silly.

First there was their public tiff with Post Dispatch sports columnist Bernie Miklasz that columnated in an “Why is everyone always picking on me?” post from their sports editor…you know because guys that did nothing wrong always have to explain themselves…

Then today, the very Globe Democrat reporter that came in second place to Miklasz in the “Who is buying the Rams” sweepstakes stepped in it again.  Way to go annoying radio voice, and overly inflated talking head Howard Balzer!

Like most things these days, all the action happened over Twitter.

Step One: Say something that everyone is going to go crazy about but still really vague:

Woah!  Huge scoop there Balzer!  Everyone wants to see Bulger lose his horns, and this is huge.  There is one little detail though… (thanks to Bernie)

Well either the Rams let go of a whole lot of players today, or Balzer jumped the gun.  Lets see how he covers his bearded ass on this one…

Um, ok.  So why did the other 59 guys pack up?  Because they did expect to get back?  Nice try.

In other news, Steven Jackson blew his nose and Coach Spags took a dump.  Interpet those as you wish.

Lets face it.  Hoosiers love football.  Its not like Nascar where only hoosiers like it, but still…hoosiers love football.

Ya think any of these totally liberal and culturally understanding fellas were a tad taken aback by the impeding sale of the Rams to some guy that didn’t look like them?

Here’s a fun game! Go to the first post that broke the story on STLToday.com (here) and count the number of times some STLToday moderator had to remove someone’s comment for being “off topic.” That’s how many douche bag racist ass holes are in our midst!  Fun huh?

Late last night the iconic St. Louis sports reporter, Bernie Miklasz broke the story that the Rams are to be purchased by a relatively late-comer to the Rams sweepstakes: Illinois businessman Shahid Khan.

Awesome!  Big story!  …however all was not right.  As the racists came out of the woodwork to comment horrible things about the likely new Rams owner on the STLToday.com comments section, a Thursday war of words between the media was brewing.

It all started with an article on Fox2’s website where they credited Post Dispatch competitor Globe Democrat with the scoop:

Well that’s just not cool, and Bernie took to Twitter to slap Fox 2 with a rolled-up newspaper:

“I want to thank Fox 2 in St. Louis for giving credit to a competitor on the Rams’ story — which I broke. Wonderful. And so ethical.” #

Followed up with a quick Twitter jab to the ribs of the Globe Democrat by mocking their earlier scoop that proved to be, well, totally wrong:

“By the way can someone tell me when the Richard Chaifetz press conference is? Thought he was buying the Rams. LOL.” #

This by the way is why we love Bernie.

By Thursday night it had gotten to the point where Globe Democrat sports reporter Rob Rains decided to write a whole article about this deal.  In it he defended the Globe Democrat for saying:

Globe-Democrat.com acknowledges that the Post-Dispatch reported the agreement to sell the Rams first on Wednesday night and we congratulate them for breaking the story. Making that acknowledgement, however, does not mean that the other media outlets in town, including Globe-Democrat.com, are going to ignore the story and act like it never happened.

No, it made us, and our NFL writer, Howard Balzer – a veteran of 34 years in the media and one of only 44 media members in the country to serve on the Pro Football Hall of Fame selection committee – go to work to see if we could get our sources to confirm the story.

That is, in fact, exactly what happened. One of Howard’s sources told him shortly after midnight that he could confirm the story. Howard wrote it, and the Globe-Democrat.com’s story went online about 2 a.m. Our story was based on what our sources told us, and what we found in researching Shahid Khan’s background, not what the Post-Dispatch was reporting. Our story included the price range of the sale, and the fact Khan had some IRS issues in his past.

Ok ok ok.  Everyone take a freakin’ breath.  First, I don’t think anyone has accused anyone else of “stealing” stories. The problem here was fair attribution.  Fox 2 gave the credit to the wrong reporter and we don’t blame Bernie for being pissed after working on a scoop like that for as long as he did.

Oh and Rob can’t take a joke, so he had to reference Bernie swipe:

There were some attempts at humor posted on message boards and twitter throughout the day Thursday referring to a story last week that identified Dr. Richard Chaifetz of Chicago as being a member of a group that was bidding on the Rams. Globe-Democrat.com did not make up that story. We reported what we were told, plain and simple, including from Chaifetz himself.

Ok, cool.  You were still wrong though.  When I was six I was pretty sure Ninja Turtles were real, and I even had a source, but turns out that was moronic.  Note to Globe-Democrat: Please do not source me on your soon to be “Ninja Turtles are Real!” story.

Dear, St. Louis Sports Media:

Chill out. Don’t be dicks. Take a joke. Don’t take yourselves so damn seriously. No one wants to read an article about how you are sad.

Remember the second string Rams QB that came in for Marc Bulger this year and did about as good?  No?  Well do you remember that hot moron that mistook the Miss America pageant as Larry King Live and decided to tell the world that one dude and another dude shouldn’t get married because apparently that actually effect her in some way.

Also, she’s hot, so because of that she has some valid points.

Scandal-laden beauty queen Carrie Prejean has gotten engaged to NFL stud Kyle Boller, E! News has learned exclusively. A source says that the two decided to make their whirlwind romance official Saturday in Prejean’s hometown of San Diego—where the Rams QB also has a house and spends time during the off-season.

The ex-Miss California, 22, began dating the 28-year-old U.C. Berkeley alum last July in the midst of her controversial rise to fame, which included anti-same-sex marriage lobbying, alleged sex tapes and a much-talked-about showdown with Larry King.

Jesus’ little messenger and the quarterback talent forgot are getting married!  How delightful and legal for them.  Can you imagine if two guys got married?  It would totally invalidate this marriage that won’t last more than 2 years.

Also, I hope she knows that you can’t get a single decent wedding arrangement made anywhere without having to schedule a meeting with a very very gay man at some point.  Good luck with that Carrie.

via E! Online

We’ve given Kurt Warner a hard time in the past and we still don’t fully understand the people that are so wrapped up in Warner-love that they seemingly forget about just how bad he was at the end of his Rams’ career.  However, Kurt Warner is seemingly a great guy that has had a great career (though not hall of fame worthy) and made the rarely seen choice to end it on top.  Sure he got rocked repeatedly and got whooped by the Saints, but Warner was a solid quarterback this year on a good team.

Don’t be sad though St. Louis, we have no doubt Kurt will be all over the place sooner rather than later. He’ll be on Fox Sports or NFL Network chatting it up, or maybe even have his own late-night tent church program!  We’re hoping at some point he’ll even end up riding shotgun on Becky Queen of Tile’s magic carpet.

But the best thing about Warner retiring?  We don’t have to hear the Hy-Vee stockboy story anymore!

We already talked about this, but we found the video and just had to share.

Turns out after this incident occured the Rams said it was all on purpose!  They claim the two fans signed up for something called the “Rams Quaterback Experience” which entails you getting badly hurt while an actual Rams offensive lineman watches.

Only the Rams could start a new “Fan Appreciation Day” and in the process, injure two fans while going for stinky gear from a stinky team.

Two “fans” fell out of the stands on Sunday while reaching for shoes that were tossed in to the stands by Rams players.

One left strapped to a gurney, but apparently Coach Spags seemed to think both fans were not seriously hurt at the press conference.  You know because they just use gurneys for things like scraped knees and boo-boos.

Hmmm.  This might explain a lot with the Rams injury situation this year.

via ESPN

Good news everyone!  Because of their complete and total suckage, the Rams have managed to grab ahold of 2010’s #1 draft pick!

Oh yeah…they lost the game vs the 49ers though.  Totally got killed.

But now we have the #1 pick in the next draft, which is huge, because we really haven’t done all that well with the #2 pick.  Chris Long?  Eh.  We’ll see.  Jason Smith?  Ditto, though he was screwed up by the Rams bizarre choice to not play him right away and when they did, play him at a foreign position.

This year though?  The Rams’ pick is all but a formality.  Ndamukong Suh is a stud at a position the Rams need help with: Defensive Tackle.

I know what  you are saying: “Woah dude.  We need a quarterback…and a wide receiver.  Pick those!”

True, but Suh is a stud and despite Coach Spags’ past work, he might just not be able to squat out a good defense wherever he goes.

Turns out the secret to a good football team is “good players.”  Yup.  I know.  Total face palm.  Really should have guessed that.

In that vein…here’s to you Ndamukong Suh!

Photo from ESPN/AP

For your wayback-moment of the day, here’s the original.