A summer band camp in O’Fallon, IL is being investigated after a complaint that marijuana-laced brownies were given out as a prank. To us, this “prank” sounds like a way to waste your pot on a bunch of band geeks, but maybe there’s one of those overly hot ones these guys really wanted to see if they could get her high and…have her blow your woodwinds if you get what we’re putting down. You know, there’s usually at least one chick in the band that is abnormally hot. She’s still a total dork usually, but that’s the beauty of it. Girls that are hot and know they are hot are the worst, but who are hot and don’t know they’re hot? That little miracle is how shallow end guys date in the deep end.

Police say the brownies secretly tainted with marijuana were given to 23 students at the camp, but none of them experienced ill effects.

…so then how the hell did anyone know?

Police say they learned of the prank after one suspected student told another about it, and that student reported it to a school official.

That little bitch! Oh man. Game over son. 1. You’re already in the band, and now 2. You’re ratting out guys giving out pot brownies? Kids of O’Fallon Township High School: If you ever want to give this “student” the old “What a dickfor?” joke, we wouldn’t bother as at this rate he really won’t know until he’s 36 and clumsily rolling around with the big lady he met at a his mother’s church event. Both of them will end up crying at the end, and it will be another 12 years before he knows if he got his fingers in third base or just that permanently moist space between belly rolls 5 and 6.

via KMOX

A recent Washington University School of Medicine study discussed the use, or rather misuse, of painkillers by current and former NFL players. The study, commissioned by ESPN’s Outside the Lines, found that 52 percent of former players used prescription pain meds during their active days, and 15 percent of that group admitted to misusing drugs in the last month.

“That’s a very large number in a population that, at that age, we wouldn’t expect to see much use of these substances at all,” Compton said. “Most typical 30- and 40-year olds aren’t taking pain relievers, and they’re not misusing them, so that’s a much higher than expected rate.”

One of the study’s main sources of antidotal information was friend-of-the-site, former Ram and Chief, and master of the homeless guy chic look, Kyle Turley:

Turley said it was commonplace to find comfort in the form of two Miller Lites. But the real relief, Turley said, would come when members of the Saints’ medical staff routinely handed out the prescription painkiller Vicodin on the flights home.

“The trainers and the doctors used to go down the aisle and say, ‘Who needs what?’” Turley said. “If you had something hurting and needed a painkiller to take the edge off so you could sleep that night, they made sure you had it.”

Turley was interviewed on the ESPN Outside the Lines program Sunday morning by Bob Ley. When the questioning turned to Turley’s current method of self-medication, things got awesome: (The clip has been transcribed below, but if you’re at home skipping work because you’re afraid of the snow, click here to see the clip.)

Ley: Is it fair to say that at times or how often you may have used more than prescribed than over the counter medication?

Turley: I try to keep things personally more on the…uh…alternative medical thing. I don’t really believe in all these pain killers they prescribe people. It’s unfortunate we allow these doctors to create these chemicals and put (them) in our bodies and yet a simple thing like a plant that grows out of the ground is continuing to be illegal when it provieds a number of medical uses and relief for individuals pain and all kinds of other ailments…and, you know, I try to think that life can be better as long as I take care of myself and allow nature to help me…

Ley: Can I assume…the plant you’re referring to is…is cannabis right?

Turley: …uh yes. That would be the one Bob.

Oddly, Kyle was red-eyed in front of a gold curtain for the entire interview. Only after the cameras were turned off did we get a peak and what was back there…

Phish concert. Figures.

You can hear more from Turley at Gridiron Records.com

KSDK’s MomsLikeMe.com loves them some polls, and for the first time, it’s an interesting one: Do you smoke weed? Ah, of course, the majority don’t…but not quite the majority one might assume.

Over 30% are toking it after putting junior on the buss! …well we hope they wait that long. We fear that some may not. Don’t want to point any fingers here, but the mom two driveways down. You know. Crazier than normal morning hair…the only one on the street polishing off a bag of Funions at 7:15am? Yeah. Her.

via MomsLikeMe and our tipster!

St. Charles County voters voted down not one but two medial marijuana proposals even after Cottleville, MO mayor Don Yarber pushed for the bills because of his own wife’s success with medial marijuana.

Apparently St. Chuck voters think Mrs Yarber is nothing more than a pothead. At least that’s the clear sentiment from one voter interview after leaving the polls by KSDK:

Ladonna Johnson, said she voted “no” on the initiative, saying there are better ways to solve medical problems than with marijuana.

Congratulations Ms Johnson! You somehow managed to throw out a quote that was surprisingly stupid even for someone named “Ladonna”.

“There are better ways to solve medical problems than with marijuana.”

First, unless we are mistaken, you aren’t Dr. Ladonna Johnson, so how the hell do you know if its not the best solution to some medical condition?  Secondly, what are your “better ways”? …let us guess: Other drugs. Would you feel safer if it was a marijuana pill? We don’t want to trip you out Ladumbass, but there are illegal drugs in pill form too.

We don’t mind disagreement, but the least  you could do is come up with an argument that has more to it than “Because.”

Rodney Wells took the measure to heart Tuesday. The St. Charles County man says he uses the drug to counteract the effects of epilepsy and adds that it works for him.

Early Tuesday, Wells showed up on a corner near the Cottleville City Hall with a sign supporting the marijuana bills. He says some people honked and waved in support, and others showed their lack of support in other ways.

We’d say there’s no reason to be rude, but this is St. Charles County we are talking about. The home of “Christian” values, sweater vests and happiness for all…unless you are gay, mexican or hold any opinion other than the norm. Is that a generalization? Of course. But you gotta admit its damn close to spot on.

In the meantime, these measures, like all marijuana measures failed. It turns out all of those that are for legal marijuana in any form tend to be more prone to having important tasks like voting slip their mind.

At least there’s still K2. Oh wait. I guess those of you that need your weed will just have to go buy it from your usual source…Ladonna Johnson’s kid.

via KSDK

The Globe-Democrat has a message for all you little rich kids that have plenty of money but not enough to buy yourself big enough rocks to buy actual pot:

A local doctor says young adults who smoke K2 or “fake weed” to achieve a similar high as received from smoking marijuana, may suffer serious reactions instead.

K2 is a dried herb legally sold in at least four shops in the St. Louis area in three gram packages for $30 to anyone over the age of 18.

The herb comes in multiple flavors including green apple, summit, pineapple express and strawberry.

Employees who work at shops that carry K2 said it is intended to be burned as incense–but some are smoking the substance to get high.

Well, gosh.  Who would smoke this?  Clearly no one is trying to get little wanna-be pot-heads to smoke this with perfectly benign names like Pineapple Express.  What?  Oh.  I’ve just been told Pineapple Express is a movie about pot.  I stand corrected.

What do the kids think?

One girl from Fort Zumwalt South High School said a lot of students at her school smoke K2 because they are on probation and can’t smoke marijuana.

“It does say not for consumption on the package and that makes me kind of wonder what’s in it,” she said. “But if you don’t smoke more than what’s in the bag you’re fine.”

She added K2 is popular among teens because it is legal and doesn’t show up in drug tests.

Her friend laughed and agreed.

“I can pass a drug test now for once in my life,” he said.

Awesome.  We look forward to being mugged by him in a few years.