Go Cardinals! The spirit of 1982 is in you! …whatever the hell that stupid falsetto crap means. Nothing like a gayer version of Richard Simmons to sing and sweat you in to playoff success.

Trying something new tonight: The Facebook live stream. We have no idea if this is better, but WordPress sucks donkey balls for updating the site like we have in the past few live-blogging of games so we’re trying this out. Hopefully this is easy, won’t screw up your FB profile and will leave the comments around so people can read them later. Hell, if we’re throwing out wishes, I’d like you’re mom to stop sweating me, blowing up our phone all the time. Tell her we’re done. It was a 6-time thing. By the way, I’d stop hugging that teddy bear in your old room. It was heavily involved for times 1,3,5 and 6.

[UPDATE: Facebook thing isn't working. Follow @punchingkitty and @mikeflynn_ for Twitter comments throughout the game.]

Cards win! Up 2 games to 1 over the Brewers.

Big game tonight! Here’s a live stream of tweets from some notably funny or knowledgable Cardinal-watching people:

@MattSebek – Joe Sports Fan writer and maker of Cardinal memes.

@athooks – Cards Diaspora.com writer

@tortycraig - Allen Craig’s turtle.

@matthewhleach – Cardinals beat writer for MLB.com

@dgoold – Post Dispatch sports writer. Not the bitchy one that just complains and says “I told you so!” all the time…the other one.

@mikeflynn_ – Punching Kitty.com editor and Cardinal fan that tries really really hard to keep the sports content to a minimum on the site.

@miklasz - Post Dispatch sports columnist. All around nice guy.

Click through the jump to see the full post with Twitter stream and extra in-game updates!

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Some how, some way, the Cardinals managed to come back from a 8.5 game lead on September 1st to make it to the playoffs while also letting us enjoy watching the Braves choke away the second largest lead ever in this history of baseball! (Also we hear the Red Sox and Rays had a similar situation. Turn on ESPN to hear all about that.)

So what does the little dirty joke blog do with a news story like this? We don’t have awesome footage from the visitors clubhouse in Houston. We don’t have a lot of player interviews. We can’t get Chipper Jones’ number to prank call him over and over again (we tried). What we can do though is fire up our fancy “Read Your Thoughts-a-mo-tron 273272b393″ and point it right at the Cardinals to see what we get (Note: the Read Your Thoughts-a-mo-tron 273272b393 will possibly cause cancer in some people, ass cancer, but it won’t form until you’re at least 40 and what the hell do 1,237 rats anuses know anyway?!)

Stay tuned! We might do a little special live Punching Kitty edition on Saturday during the game if there’s interest.

Photo Credits: ESPN

Two weeks ago the Cardinals bandwagon was a pretty empty place. Tony LaRussa was on there, and the whole Fox Sports Midwest staff are contractually obligated to stay on there and make cheery promos to be run immediately after any blow-out loss by the Cardinals, but other than that there wasn’t much going on. Pujols even asked if he could use the extra bandwagon space in the off-season because he might have some moving that needs to be done.

Cut to a week ago, and the bandwagon’s full again. Really full. Like April full. The team was in the midst of a win streak, the Braves had just begun to tank away their season and things were looking up for the no-luck Cardinals. Hell, Pujols even stopped trying on other team’s jerseys in front of his locker mirror before the games. Everyone was riding high!

…and then the Cardinals lost two games. Every body back off the bandwagon! Take it slow, share the rope ladder. Hey, someone left their jacket! It’s light blue nylon with the elastic cuffs and says something in that puffy cursive that no one can read but everyone puts on jackets…someone from the fashion time vortex of South County we’re guessing?! Seriously. You’re going to think someone stole this jacket, but we want to assure you that it wasn’t. No one wants this ugly jacket everyone else stopped making a wearing over 25 years ago.

Oh wait, the Cardinals just won two games and the Braves lost again. Everyone back on the bandwagon! Judging by the picture above Frucal’s “hand-job excited”, so that’s good. Keeps everyone loose. Hurry though! We may only have about 24 until we need to get back off again.

Hey look! Here’s my McCluer North JV soccer jacket!

Figures. At least put it back on so you won’t forget it again. *sigh* …nope, you chose the option to tie it around your waist. That works too we guess.

Image Credit: STLToday

That’s it folks. The Reds have won the Central Division and the Cardinals are going home to go hunt or fish or make their jeans in to jorts…whatever all those hoosier Cardinals do. Right fielder Jay Bruce hit a walk-off home run against the Houston Astros to win the game and snatch the Central Division crown off the Cardinals crestfallen head.

Bruce homered on the first pitch from Tim Byrdak leading off the ninth inning Tuesday for a 3-2 victory over the Houston Astros that secured the NL Central title and touched off the long-awaited party in a city where champagne sprays were commonplace in the ’70s and ’90s.

For those that don’t follow baseball closely, the tide turned between the two teams after the Cardinals swept the Reds and then decided to suck donkey schlong while the Reds continued to play baseball and not just curl up in the fetal position and poop themselves.

Good for the Reds though! They won it, and they played baseball when the Cardinals just appeared to not give a crap. The Reds are also a pretty young team and the kids are excited to get that first taste of success. St. Louis fan-favorite Brandon Phillips, for instance, was very excited about taking some foam in the face.

“Everybody is looking forward to seeing me do it,” Phillips said. “I don’t know how it’s going to taste. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

That, Mr. Phillips, is what she said.

While the Reds clinched, 30,ooo people in the stands at Busch Stadium were the last ones to know since the scoreboard was, according to Cardinals officials, conveniently broken. Once the news finally broke though, the Cardinals celebrated by putting Aaron Miles in to pitch which is akin to just deciding to keep wearing the pants you just pissed yourself in because, “What ever man. Who cares at this point?”

In a related story, Jim Hayes of Fox Sports Midwest is fine now after throwing sparks in the 9th inning after being told “No Jim, the Cardinals can’t get ‘right back in the race’ this year.” when he spent the last 5 minutes on “if we could just get Colby Rasmus hot you never know what could happen..” Hayes simply required a reboot and a manual switching in to “we’ll get ‘em next year” mode. The switch is conveniently placed underneath his toupee.

via ESPN

Send us your thoughts in the comments or by replying to @punchingkitty over Twitter.