President Obama has assembled the all-nerd A-Team to help fix this whole oil thing we’ve heard about occasionally. These scientists are the best of the best, the brightest minds, the thickest glasses…but every A-Team needs a crazy Murdock-type guy. Guess where this nut case is from?

Jonathan I. Katz, physics professor at Washington University in St. Louis. Katz, a member of the prestigious JASON think tank, did his early work in astrophysics, though he now tackles a wide variety of physics problems. He’s definitely the wild card of the group, having published provocative essays entitled “Don’t Become a Scientist,” “In Defense of Homophobia” and “Why Terrorism is Important” on his personal website.

Says Katz in his aforementioned “In Defense of Homophobia”

I am a homophobe, and proud.

Well a large percentage of Missouri is behind him, but I wouldn’t expect a Vital Voice party invitation any time soon.

Here is Katz trying to get people to follow in his footsteps…on wait. Flip that.

Are you thinking of becoming a scientist? Do you want to uncover the mysteries of nature, perform experiments or carry out calculations to learn how the world works? Forget it!

There’s no doubt Katz is a smart guy, but one time…just one time can’t the guy on the panel from St. Louis not be weird in some way? I feel like all over america there are groups of people getting together and trying to right some horrible wrong or fight the good fight and when everyone is pitching their ideas in the circle we get to the guy from St. Louis who’s wearing overalls with no shirt and biting his toenails who just looks up and say “…oh. My turn? …I don’t know…can’t we just shoot it or some shit like that? …you gonna finish that pizza crust?”

…could be worse though. Detroit doesn’t even get on the panel anymore.

via Gizmodo and our tipster who we’re sure would be more than capable on any sort of panel.

Last season’s World Series Champions the New York Yankees visited the White House the other day to do the photo-op thing and mingle with President Obama.

Obama, quite the sports fan himself, couldn’t help himself from taking a shot at the woeful Cubs while standing with the winningest organization of them all.

“It’s been nine years since your last title, which must have felt like an eternity for Yankees fans,” Obama said. “I think other teams would be just fine with a spell like that — the Cubs, for example.

Now sure, Obama’s Cubs hate is from the fact that he’s a White Sox fan, but we’ll take that. They say your enemies of your enemies are your friends or something right? Well then there you go.

You may not like his health plan, or the fact that he ruined you and your supremacist buddies’ “I’ll kill myself if a black guy gets in the White House” threat, but we can all agree: Screw the Cubs.

via MLB.com

President Obama will be making a trip to St. Louis next week to attend a fundraiser for fellow Democrat and Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill.   But we here at Punching Kitty are sure he will make time for a quick drive down Barack Obama Blvd to have a slice of Pi Pizza.

In a completely unrelated story, outspoken conservative mouth-piece and general easy-going #1 fan of Punching Kitty.com [Editor's Note: *cough*] Dana Loesch recently won a week-long all-expenses paid trip to “anywhere but here” by a little known company named Flowers By Irene.  A mysterious black van will be picking her up when she least expects it later this week.

What. Are. The. Odds?!  Have fun Dana, and enjoy your stay Mr. President!

[Editor's Note: Call me...let's do lunch Mr. President!]

According to  our tipster and the link they sent us to the DailyKos.com, thats what St. Louis’ favorite perma-fired up, republican, Dana Loesch pundit is trying to make happen with a recent mass email.  Why?  Apparently some black guy is going to break in to the school and try and talk to her kids.

Snippets from her e-mail:

President Obama’s Address to Students Across America September 8, 2009…

Word is traveling fast on the internet, between bloggers and twitter, the choice is clear : No school for kids on September 8th due to the beginning of Socialist Indoctrination of Americas children.

Take a day of vacation. Go to the zoo. Anything that would save your offspring from what I will bluntly say is just the quasi-fellating the executive branch.

I wouldn’t have such a problem with the Department of Education were this presented in a non-Orwellian fashion.  There is no consideration given to the authority of the American people. That’s what concerns me.

Once again, we don’t care about the politics because generally its not funny and thus doesn’t amuse us, but we don’t think its fair that little republican kids get an extra day home from school.  Granted, the liberal kids get to have a school day interrupted by an assembly, which no matter if the assembly is the President or one of those “Don’t Smoke” boy bands, its a pretty light day.  I guess thats kinda even.

Either way, I just think its funny that some people think their kids pay attention in school.

According to Matthew Leach, the MLB.com writer that covers the Cardinals, pretty much nothing will be allowed past the gates for the All Star game because of the Presidential first pitch.

Here are his tweets from earlier today:

Working on story on stadium/city/etc procedures for ASG week. One thing mentioned: for the game itself, it’s essentially TSA security. #

“If you can’t take it on the airplane, you’re not going to be allowed to bring it in the building that day. ” – Joe Abernathy, stadium ops. #

Won’t be that strict for the rest of the weekend, just Tuesday night w/the President in attendance. #

I do NOT believe that applies to shoe removal. It was not mentioned. #

However, no bottles, even water bottles, on Tuesday night. #

Also – no re-entry whatsoever on Tuesday night. Not even for smoke breaks. #

They were not shy about admitting that traffic, parking and security will present some headaches. #

I would say that sucks, but whatever.  I can pee, smoke, leave, come back, keep my shoes on and take my pants off at home with the HD TV.

When we get a link to Leach’s full article, we’ll be sure to update with a link.

[Editor's Note: In other Matt Leach news, you can find him on our St. Louis Sports Celeb Twitter Index!  Check it out and follow some sports guys to butch up that following list full of Perez Hilton and Britney.]

1. How much do you really like Obama?  I mean do  you really like him…like want him inside of you like him?  I have just the thing for you!  [NSFW]  Via Dan Jaboor  (Send your tips to tips@punchingkitty.com!)

2. Christian Gooden of STLToday.com needs someone to tell him that serial killers like looking at dead animals too.

3. Speaking of Serial Cereal Killers…This is the coolest mural of all time.  Via CityRag

4. Holy crap whoever sent this to the STL section of The Dirty.com went after some dude with both barrels!

“It was all I could do to keep from laughing when he took off his pants….luckily I was saved from the 1.5″ dagger by him prematurely blowing his load” 

“Gigantor Chin” on TheDirty.com

and finally…

5. The mayor is sick.  Who ever it is, stop forcing this man to blog.

Start off your week with some hot linking action!

There is no Bluebird, only Firebird: STLToday.com’s Blender has the newly released schedule for the re-lauched Firebird venue.

Michael Pinto at Fanboy.com describes a problem we here at PunchingKitty have seen for quite a while: The Invasion of “Social Media Experts”  If we may add some bitching to his great article: You dick (or boobs?) doesn’t get bigger just because you follow every retard that follows you!  Also…stop giving people “tips” on how to Twitter/Facebook/Whatever.  …we feel better already!

Comments St. Louis has the sample ballot for the City’s March 3rd election.  Don’t vote for Denise Watson-Wesley Coleman for mayor because thats just way the hell too long to type out all the time.

Cotton balls are scary.

Still not sick of Obama inauguration stuff?  Check out these photos then!

Sexy sexy sexy.  Thats the best way to describe the crowd that Metromix found at St. Louis’ first Inaugural Ball.

The good news?  We can only go up from here!

See the full gallery here.

Everyone knows that St. Louis has a time machine and has found a way to predict out the next 4 to 8 years.  The results of their epic quest?  Obama will be the best black president USA has ever had!  So we’re naming a street after him!  Boosh!

But I say, why stop there?  There’s all kinds of other street blocks that could use some fancying up!  Here’s a few that we at PunchingKitty.com are pulling for:

1. Roland Burris Ave
2. Caroline Kennedy Cul de sac
3. Spagnuolo Street
4. Ram’s Super Bowl 2010 Blvd
5. Ballpark Village Parkway

Yup, those all seem like sure bets to me.