It became official yesterday morning, the prize that St. Louis had been chasing, the chance to host the 2012 Democratic National Convention, slipped through the city’s fingers like so many murders and car thieves. The convention, and the people, attention and tax money that come with it, are taking their talents to Charlotte, North Carolina in 2012.

The Mayor had this to say in his official statement:

The Democratic National Committee has announced that Charlotte will host the party’s national convention in 2012. That is a disappointment for all of us who worked on a proposal to bring the event to St. Louis.

St. Louis was not selected for 2012 for reasons of electoral politics. That is a decision of the President and his reelection team. I will not fault it. St. Louis will submit a bid for a 2016 national political convention, when the electoral politics will be different.

Sounds like the DNC fed St. Louis the old “It’s not you, it’s me.” line and they bought it. Glad to hear that still works sometimes. Sure Charlotte has a higher urban population that makes more money, has nicer houses and is way safer, but other than that, it was all politics.

Whatever. Didn’t need you anyway DNC! We’re strong! We can move on and we know there are great things about us too, like Pi Pizza (Oh how soon you forget Mr. President!), Forest Park, a shocking amount of hotels and conference centers, the best local weather teams, 2 out of 3 major sports (+ hockey!) and chance to give us a press pass so we can trade boob jokes with former President Clinton. Would have been sweet…you missed out though.

Ok, level with us…it was because of Republicanette Dana Loesch wasn’t it? *Sigh* We actually had a plan for that where we would send her and the Democrabby Charles Jaco (Yeah, he’s generally on your side, but trust me, you don’t want him there either) letters to meet at the basement of the Edward Jones Dome promising dirt on the other and then we’d lock the door from the outside and “find” them after the convention was over. By then you’ll have enjoyed your stay, while Loesch and Jaco, per every sitcom ever, would have fallen in love by then or something.

…but now you’ll never know. Your loss Democrats. St. Louis will survive!

President Obama has assembled the all-nerd A-Team to help fix this whole oil thing we’ve heard about occasionally. These scientists are the best of the best, the brightest minds, the thickest glasses…but every A-Team needs a crazy Murdock-type guy. Guess where this nut case is from?

Jonathan I. Katz, physics professor at Washington University in St. Louis. Katz, a member of the prestigious JASON think tank, did his early work in astrophysics, though he now tackles a wide variety of physics problems. He’s definitely the wild card of the group, having published provocative essays entitled “Don’t Become a Scientist,” “In Defense of Homophobia” and “Why Terrorism is Important” on his personal website.

Says Katz in his aforementioned “In Defense of Homophobia”

I am a homophobe, and proud.

Well a large percentage of Missouri is behind him, but I wouldn’t expect a Vital Voice party invitation any time soon.

Here is Katz trying to get people to follow in his footsteps…on wait. Flip that.

Are you thinking of becoming a scientist? Do you want to uncover the mysteries of nature, perform experiments or carry out calculations to learn how the world works? Forget it!

There’s no doubt Katz is a smart guy, but one time…just one time can’t the guy on the panel from St. Louis not be weird in some way? I feel like all over america there are groups of people getting together and trying to right some horrible wrong or fight the good fight and when everyone is pitching their ideas in the circle we get to the guy from St. Louis who’s wearing overalls with no shirt and biting his toenails who just looks up and say “…oh. My turn? …I don’t know…can’t we just shoot it or some shit like that? …you gonna finish that pizza crust?”

…could be worse though. Detroit doesn’t even get on the panel anymore.

via Gizmodo and our tipster who we’re sure would be more than capable on any sort of panel.

Last season’s World Series Champions the New York Yankees visited the White House the other day to do the photo-op thing and mingle with President Obama.

Obama, quite the sports fan himself, couldn’t help himself from taking a shot at the woeful Cubs while standing with the winningest organization of them all.

“It’s been nine years since your last title, which must have felt like an eternity for Yankees fans,” Obama said. “I think other teams would be just fine with a spell like that — the Cubs, for example.

Now sure, Obama’s Cubs hate is from the fact that he’s a White Sox fan, but we’ll take that. They say your enemies of your enemies are your friends or something right? Well then there you go.

You may not like his health plan, or the fact that he ruined you and your supremacist buddies’ “I’ll kill myself if a black guy gets in the White House” threat, but we can all agree: Screw the Cubs.

via MLB.com

President Obama will be making a trip to St. Louis next week to attend a fundraiser for fellow Democrat and Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill.   But we here at Punching Kitty are sure he will make time for a quick drive down Barack Obama Blvd to have a slice of Pi Pizza.

In a completely unrelated story, outspoken conservative mouth-piece and general easy-going #1 fan of Punching Kitty.com [Editor's Note: *cough*] Dana Loesch recently won a week-long all-expenses paid trip to “anywhere but here” by a little known company named Flowers By Irene.  A mysterious black van will be picking her up when she least expects it later this week.

What. Are. The. Odds?!  Have fun Dana, and enjoy your stay Mr. President!

[Editor's Note: Call me...let's do lunch Mr. President!]

According to  our tipster and the link they sent us to the DailyKos.com, thats what St. Louis’ favorite perma-fired up, republican, Dana Loesch pundit is trying to make happen with a recent mass email.  Why?  Apparently some black guy is going to break in to the school and try and talk to her kids.

Snippets from her e-mail:

President Obama’s Address to Students Across America September 8, 2009…

Word is traveling fast on the internet, between bloggers and twitter, the choice is clear : No school for kids on September 8th due to the beginning of Socialist Indoctrination of Americas children.

Take a day of vacation. Go to the zoo. Anything that would save your offspring from what I will bluntly say is just the quasi-fellating the executive branch.

I wouldn’t have such a problem with the Department of Education were this presented in a non-Orwellian fashion.  There is no consideration given to the authority of the American people. That’s what concerns me.

Once again, we don’t care about the politics because generally its not funny and thus doesn’t amuse us, but we don’t think its fair that little republican kids get an extra day home from school.  Granted, the liberal kids get to have a school day interrupted by an assembly, which no matter if the assembly is the President or one of those “Don’t Smoke” boy bands, its a pretty light day.  I guess thats kinda even.

Either way, I just think its funny that some people think their kids pay attention in school.