According to KMOX State Representative Jamillah Nasheed and Alderman Antonio French talked to gang members and got them to help in an O’Fallon Park cleanup project.

French met with some gang members recently and helped them come up with “Operation Unity” — a weekly community clean-up effort, “They care about our community, too. They live here and grew up here. Many have kids of their own living here. They want to bring up the quality of life in their neighborhood. We’re getting them involved, organized, and working together.”

French followed up, “We still had to bribe them though.”

French says as an incentive, the area will get a new basketball court and the gang members may possibly get some construction work.

How do you even go about contacting a gang?  Is there some sort of hotline, or do you have to mark the back side of a mailbox and then meet them in a dark alley where they cover your head and take you to their liar to meet their leader sitting on a throne made of stolen car stereos with like four janky looking white chicks with cornrows and bikinis all around him? …then you find out that he’s not the leader at all. It’s actually the old white guy that has a really important job so that no one would ever think it was him. He’ll end up getting greedy and get exposed though by the grizzled cop after his young partner is killed in the line of duty.

If you are wondering what movie I’m referencing, the answer is: All of them.

via KMOX

A roving group of thugs went around south St. Louis Friday and eventually kicked the crap out of two men, giving the south side of St. Louis a little taste of what life is like on the north side of town.

St. Louis Metropolitan Police said the group assaulted their first victim in the 7400 block of Virginia. Witnesses told police a 42-year- old man was collecting cans when the teenagers approached him and without provocation began to punch and kick him. The man was not injured and refused medical attention.

The group of teens then fled to the 7100 block of Michigan where they attacked an 82-year old man in the same manner; punching and kicking him. The 82-year old man suffered a broken jaw. He was taken to an area hospital.

We followed up with STL PD and asked: “Doesn’t this kinda thing happen all the time in north St. Louis?”

Well yeah, of course.

So why the sudden response and news coverage?

We responded quickly to this incident and notified the press because this happened actually near where we live, not in some far away place like Beirut or North City where people lay around with flies on their faces and crazy crap like that.  I mean this could have happened to anyone of us coming out of the Qdoba on Grand and Arsenal. I mean, sure that place sucks, but it would suck a lot more if you got jumped on your way out the door.

via Globe Democrat

So you’re a thug ok?  You see a car idling on the street, and you think.  ”Wow, doesn’t get much easier than this!”  So you hop in and start to drive away.

And  then you get shot “several times” and die.

Its like the damn wild west in North St. Louis!

An 18-year-old north St. Louis man was fatally wounded Sunday as he attempted to steal a truck.

It happened near Baden around 10 a.m.

Police said a 31-year-old man left the truck running in front of his house in the 8400 block of Church Rd. and went back inside.

Charles Winfrey Kemp, of the 4400 block of Forest Park Blvd., approached the vehicle, attempted to drive it away and was shot several times by the owner.

Kemp was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Now before you go patting Mr. Vigilante on the back for his conceal and carry brand of justice, he’s freaking crooked too.

The 31-year-old man, who was not identified, was taken in to custody for outstanding warrants.

“No one’s going to steal my car!  I stole that shit fair and square last week!”

We don’t venture in to North St. Louis much, but for those that do, when you go up there does all the color fade away with the exception of a few highlights?  You know, like Sin City?  Are there gangs of unregulated hookers chopping off heads in the streets?  Because that’s how it sounds.

Look, if you see a car idling, just let it be. Don’t try to steal it. Also, don’t just leave your car idling in North City…unless you are packing heat, then I guess, do whatever.  You win.  Sorry about your small penis though.

A week ago we posted a little something about a woman getting attacked in a bathroom at UMSL’s north city campus.

Yeah, we hear North St. Louis is a “very safe” part of town in general if you disregard all the murders and muggings.

But wait!  Were we wrong with our flippant remarks about north city and UMSL?  Maybe.  We had someone contact us about the matter!

Here’s what they said:

UMSL has the least number of sexual assaults out of wash u, slu and mizzou. so stop bashing NoCo. word.

Putting aside the fact that this particular North County lover seems a little violent themselves, we will concede that our remark didn’t have a lot of things like “facts” or “research” behind it.  I do have this map though which looks like there are more little crime-y icons north than south:

Apparently there are also some official documents running around that prove differently, but hello!  Look at all the crime-y icons!

…also we are pretty sure that if crimes are reported less, its because people are tougher there and pack heat…and drive around in cars like on Mad Max and the Thunderdome.  I’m not sure about that last part though.