Sports Illustrated is counting down all 101 (apparently both 0 and 00 count) jersey numbers and naming the best players to wear that numeral of all time. In the list the Rams snagged five spots, with the majority coming from the LA days. The old skool Cardinals snuck one in there too later on down the list.

#28 Marshall Faulk

A key cog of the Rams’ “Greatest Show On Turf,” Faulk played his last game in 2005, ending a career in which he produced 19,154 combined yards from scrimmage. His 6,875 yards receiving are the most by any running back. #

#29 Eric Dickerson

An electrifying open-field runner, Dickerson ran for an NFL-record 2,105 yards in 1984 and gained 1,800 or more rushing yards in three of his first four seasons. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999. #

#74 Merlin Olsen

Before he became an actor and commercial pitchman, Olsen terrorized quarterbacks during his 15-year-career with the Rams and played in 14 straight Pro Bowls. #

#75 Deacon Jones (beating out Mean Joe Greene!)

A sack-master before it became cool, the 6-foot-5 defensive end teamed with tackle Merlin Olsen to give the Rams a “Fearsome” left side of the defensive line. #

#85 Jack Youngblood

Hall of Fame defensive end was a seven-time Pro Bowl pick in 14 seasons with the Los Angeles Rams (1971-84). Tough and durable, he played 201 straight games — and all of Super Bowl XIV despite a broken left leg. #

Dan Dierdorf, of the defunct St. Louis Cardinals, was deemed the best #72

The Hall of Fame right tackle anchored the Cardinals line over his 13 years with the club. He played in six Pro Bowls and following his retirement, he became an announcer with ABC and CBS Sports. #

No Kurt Warner didn’t get #13, that went to Dan Marino. Kurt did get “runner up” status though.

One other name you might recognize: Your mom won #69 because she was big enough to be a linebacker and was a total slut. Snap!

It’s been a long road for Stan Kroenke to get finally own the worst team in the NFL, but it looks like he might finally get the team. First there was the sudden claim of the team from Shahid Khan, then the NFL rules he had to dodge about cross-city ownership, and after all that, he had to be all like “Dude. I don’t have the money, but I promise I will have it soon. Be cool. What happened? You used to be cool.”  None of that matters now because the NFL finance committee has unanimously voted in favor of our man Stan.

The NFL’s finance committee has unanimously recommended approval of Stan Kroenke’s Rams purchase bid, the Post-Dispatch has confirmed through several league sources.

The finance committee will make its report and invite discussion Wednesday in Atlanta. At that time, Kroenke can comment or respond to questions as he chooses, and then the vote will take place.

The final vote will happened later today at the NFL owners meeting, but from here it looks to be smooth sailing for Stan Kroenke. Congrats Stan!

By the way, we have some issues with your new purchase: The team sucks, the arena they play in is crap and even with a #1 drafted quarterback, you still can’t put enough butts in the seats to get a home game shown on local TV.

Kroenke’s only issue? St. Louis’ lack of direct flights to L.A.

More:

Stan Kroenke Was All Like POW and Khan Was All Like WHAT?! Over Last Minute Rams Bid

Top 10 Things We Wish Stan Kroenke Would Step in and Buy

Mayor Slay Gets in to the Sports Reporting Business

Kroenke Tries Putting the Rams on Layaway

Over the weekend, the Rams’ #1 draft pick, quaterback Sam Bradford finally signed his contract and it was for a lot of money. A believe the parlance is a “panty dropping amount”.

No. 1 overall draft pick Sam Bradford agreed to a six-year, $78 million contract with the St. Louis Rams Friday night, with $50 million in guaranteed money.

The Rams and the former Oklahoma quarterback concluded negotiations in time for the first full-squad workout, set for Saturday. The guaranteed money is the highest ever in the NFL.

It can get even better for Bradford since, after incentives, the contract can reach $86 Million.

Though his name is getting to be well-known, most people can’t recognize a photo of Bradford. Here’s a hint: If you see a guy around St. Louis reenacting the video below, that’s him.

You know what we’d do with that kind of money? Two chicks at the same time. We figure a dude with that kinda money could hook that up.

via ESPN

OMG! Kurt Warner iz such a gr8 writer. Hs prose jst sEm 2 croS boundaries. LOL. JK. IDK. wutevA.

Here’s some examples:

Anybody out there no where my IPAD is? Bec, of the 8ppl in this house, of corse no 1 has seen it or played w it all day! Must b my imposter! #

Drove past car w/ sticker “boobs r power”, my life suddenly started 2 make sense & y I have always felt powerless! Darn it! #

At a bakery waiting 4 dinner & all the sweets r tellin me 2 take them home 4 late-nite snack! Should I cheat on my cereal? #

Brain damage is a serious problem in the NFL…clearly.

More @ Kurt’s Twitter page

The Rams traded for Isaac Bruce today. Don’t get excited, he won’t be playing.

The St. Louis Rams traded with the San Francisco 49ers to acquire Bruce, the team announced today.  The Rams and Bruce will hold a news conference on Wednesday, June 9, at 12:30 p.m. in the Russell Training Center auditorium.

In his accomplished 16-year career, Bruce ranks fifth in the NFL with 1,024 career receptions, one of only six players in NFL history to have 1,000 career receptions.  He ranks second in the NFL with 15,208 career receiving yards.  His 91 career receiving touchdowns rank ninth in the league.

Ok. Cool and glad to see he cared enough to come back, even for a second, but the thing is…right now Bruce is like at least our 3rd best wide receiver. So…and we’re just throwing this out there…maybe don’t retire Isaac? Thoughts? I mean seriously.

Just something to think about. You won’t even be the oldest guy on the team…I hear the Rams are talking to Dan Dierdorf and this guy too who we’re pretty sure is dead.

via St. Louis Rams

Sick of those stupid Miller and Coors commericals that plays constantly during the NFL season, mercilessly beating the hell out of a once semi-humorus premise.

Well you have one more season to get through.

Anheuser-Busch’s flagship brand Bud Light will be the official beer sponsor of the National Football League, edging out rival MillerCoors, which said Tuesday it wouldn’t renew its deal.

Anheuser-Busch’s six-year deal, which begins in the 2011 season, is worth more than $1 billion, a person close to the league said Tuesday.

So much for that whole “Inbev will cut the Bud Light marketing money” thing huh?  Also interesting is that with a six year deal starting in 2011, there’s a chance St. Louis might be the home of the NFL beer sponsor, but have no local NFL team to watch.

The good news though is those damn Coors Light commercials with the coach videos are gone after this year as I don’t think you would get access to those videos without being the official sponsor of the NFL. It’s exciting to look forward to…horsies playing football?  …dammit. Bud Light commercials suck now too.

All of this reminds me of a story…I’m an awesome chick magnet that beats up guys that pop their collar and still have their frat letters on their car more than 2 years after graduating from college.

I didn’t say it was a long story.

“I can’t wait to get to St. Louis.” – Sam Bradford on ESPN

With the first pick of the NFL amateur draft, the Rams took the quarterback from Oklahoma Sam Bradford. This is the new face of the Rams franchise.

“You have no idea how excited I am just to have the opportunity to come to St. Louis and play my NFL career there,” Bradford said in a conference call. “It’s just a blessing and I can’t wait to get there and get to work.”

St. Louis was 1-15 last season and scored a league-low 175 points. The Rams cut incumbent Marc Bulger in the offseason. The 2008 winner of the Heisman Trophy appeared in only three games in 2009, his junior year, before undergoing right shoulder surgery. His recovery has been so complete that the Rams didn’t hesitate to make him the future face of the franchise.

No surprises here, in the last few weeks, despite their best efforts to hide it, it was pretty clear the Rams were spending their time drawing hearts on their notebook and filling the pages with Mrs. Bradford over and over again. Bernie Miklasz quoted Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo as saying

“We’re fired up. This is a special guy. He’s got all the things you look for in a quarterback.”

A couple of questions remain…

1. He knows we were 1-15 not 15-1 last year right? I mean awesome to see you so excited, but know we are a little more like the fat girl with headgear rather than Kate Beckinsale as far as hot football dates go.

2. When is he going to sign on the dotted line and make this official? All reports so far say not any time soon. We don’t get the diva vibe off of Bradford, but his agent is going to starting at $50 Million and going up from there, so it sure as hell won’t be next week.

3. Is he going to start. The Rams are telling Bernie (via Twitter) that “Bradford is under no pressure to start (immediately).” but when your next best option is A.J. Feeley, that shiny new quarterback in the garage is going to look awfully tempting.

4. Doesn’t Suzy Kolber look awkward in that dress? She’s cute. But girl next store that plays baseball with you cute, not dressed up cute. We’re betting she’s still got something tomboyish going on under there. Maybe he has her pubes in pig tails.

via ESPN

[Editor's Note: Do you know Sam? Do you know someone who knows Sam? Anything?! We'd love to hear from you: tips@punchingkitty.com]

In a move that can be describe no other way than “utter badassery” current minority owner of the Rams and owner of the Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche and some “Futbol” team you don’t care about, decided at the last possible second that “Yup, totally buying the Rams too.”

“We are pleased to announce that we have exercised our right to purchase the remaining interest in the St. Louis Rams football team under the terms of our Partnership Agreement,” Kroenke said in a statement. “We have enjoyed our involvement in the National Football League since our original expansion efforts beginning in 1993 and our subsequent 15-year partnership with the Rams.

But wait, aren’t there rules in place where he couldn’t buy the Rams since he owns franchies in other NFL cities? No one thought he was going to do this because he couldn’t…right?

Rules?! What rules? There are no rules when you are Stan Kroenke! The NFL can’t stop him from buying a team and  you can’t stop him from wearing that rug on his head.

The assumption had been that the NFL’s rules against cross-ownership might preclude Kroenke from exercising his option to purchase the Rams outright if Rosenbloom decided to sell. Kroenke had 60 days to announce his decision once Illinois businessman Shahid Khan made an offer. Kroenke already owns the NBA and NHL teams in Denver, meaning his majority ownership of the Rams could threaten the Broncos. But his deep pockets and familiarity could appeal to the league, possibly giving Kroenke the leverage he needs to push through his bid.

Rumor has it that Kroenke made the final call on the Rams sale to, “Stop it with all the damn ‘Khan!’ joke headlines in the media. I mean really? That’s the only joke anyone could come up with? What happened to writing or imagination? Freaking ridiculous man. You all are horrible. I mean really horrible.”

Here are what (we think) some local sports media members will say about the news:

Bernie Miklasz, STLToday and WXOS: “Yeah, I knew this was going down. Wanted to give the other guys a shot though. Also hockey reporters suck.”

Howard Balzer, Globe-Democrat: “Sh*t, I’ve been sucking up to the wrong owner…I mean…what Bernie said, but lets say I said it first ok?”

D’Marco Farr, WXOS: “Blah blah Dick Vermeil blah blah Greatest Show on Turf!”

Kevin Slaten, WSLG: “What a dummy! Grrrr I’m getting mad for ratings. Can anyone hear me?”

Quotes via ESPN.com

The other day while driving though the city, dodging the commercials on the radio we caught a tidbit on 101 ESPN about the Rams. According to Brian Stull, the Rams coach Steve Spangnolo has created the new 2010-2011 season team motto! No one knows what it is yet, and “Stully” can’t wait to find out if it’s better than last year’s: “53 as 1″

If this is the news Stully is waiting for this Rams offseason, we don’t have a lot of faith in the new season. Its pretty clear to us that Coach Spags should be spending his time, well coaching! Creating little gimmicky saying that really don’t mean shit is more our line of work, and if “53 as 1″ is all Coach could think of last year, its clear this should be someone else’s job. So we’re chipping in a helping Spags with a few suggestions of our own.

St. Louis Rams: Steven Jackson and 52 fans that just got really good seats.

St. Louis Rams: AJ Feeley. That’s it.

St. Louis Rams: Feel Free to Set Your Nachos in the Empty Seat Next to You

St. Louis Rams: Hoosier Free Since that Khan Guy Bought Us

St. Louis Rams: Sam Bradford!!!!!!

St. Louis Rams: Seriously, One of These Drafts Are Going to Work Out.

St. Louis Rams: We Can Only Go Up…or Just Slightly Down

We ran across this the other day and just had to share…