As of right now, the price of gas is right around $4 a gallon in St. Louis. Area owners of giant trucks or SUVs are currently torn between hatin’ that dang Obama because of the gas prices, but still loving the fact he killed that dang Osama. Poor fellers, that sure is a lot of of “danging” and like-sounding names.

The following things are now no longer driving for because they were barely worth it with gas was only $3 a gallon:

1. Arby’s

2. Any movie in 3D

3. Pixie sticks

4. Landscaping rock that won’t end up looking right oh and you didn’t get enough so you’d have to go back anyway.

5. The following Vess Soda flavors: cherry, black cherry, pineapple, peach, piña colada, strawberry, blue raspberry, kiwi-strawberry and root beer

Photo Credit: Beth O’Malley

Short version: The city is dropping some cash to put up signs all over the place that point to various places of interest like famous restaurants, neighborhoods or attractions. Some are whining about this though when they found out that the signs will only be leading the way to attractions that have paid the city for the sign placement.

There are lots of problems people can, and should, be complaining about, but this isn’t one of them. The whiney business owners need to just shut up and pay for the advertising or don’t. You don’t expect to get free billboards from the city, and you shouldn’t expect to just get on the signs because you think your restaurant is special.

Fritz Clifford Jr. is president of the board at the Campbell House Museum, a preserved mansion from the Gilded Age and another historic downtown landmark. The museum makes less than $200,000 annually, but it would have had to pay more than $27,000 to get listed on the signs.

“The program really seemed geared towards the large organizations,” Clifford said. “You’d really need to have revenue of a million dollars or more to justify this.”

Ok kids. Time for basic economics! The total estimated cost of the signs is said to be $1.7 million dollars. St. Louis doesn’t really have that money to burn since it’s already cutting a police force budget that desperately needs to be raised and paying for city fire fighters to retire just after puberty. So where is the money from the signs going to come from? The same place any advertisement money comes from: the business that wants the advertisement! What?! Why won’t the city give you something for free?! That’s so unfair! We should have free signs so everyone can know where stuff is…oh wait, my car just got stolen. Nevermind. Screw the Campbell House Museum.

In fact, you should know that the commission in charge of the signs, the St. Louis Convention and Visitors Commission, tried to get the tax payers to foot the bill, but were wisely shot down in there attempt. Finally something we can agree with the city on! …but not quite, because we say they don’t do enough of stuff like this. Go balls out St. Louis City! I see some room on the back of those police uniforms for some NASCAR-like advertiser patches. What about that free zoo everyone loves so much? It would start paying for itself if you let Schuncks start to sponsor the elephant cages. “Oh honey, that giant elephant penis reminds me, we should pick up some tube steak for dinner this week.”

Expect to start seeing the signs popping up around town by June of this year.

via STLToday

According to Missouri’s Attorney General Chris Koster, there are charities out there that aren’t really here to help! Some charities are super helpful organizations that take money and give all of it over to whatever their cause is…women that like fat guys or Mexicans something…but other charities take your money, pocket most of it and then throw a few pennies at their “cause” to keep things nice and legal. We’re starting to think that money we gave to the “Women Helping Others Reach Elevated Standards” last week won’t really help anything except for Cinnamon’s issues with her pimp.

Attorney General Chris Koster today cautioned Missourians to do their homework before giving to charities this holiday season to make sure their donations are used to help others, and not diverted toward exorbitant telemarketing and administration fees.

“Missourians are by nature very generous,” Koster said. “And although most charities do wonderful work, some actually do very little to help those they claim to support. Before giving, go to our website at http://www.ago.mo.gov/ and click on Check-a-Charity to make sure the charity you are considering uses at least 65 percent of its donations for charitable programs.”

The worst charity, the Missouri Chapter of the United States Navy Veterans Association, is no longer active, but the rest are ready and willing to give pennies on the dollar to whatever it is made you give them the money in the first place.

One look this list nets some unavoidable truths: People are suckers for cancer and veterans.

Cancer Survivor’s Fund, Missouri, Texas got $2,402,824 and only game 3.13% to charity.

Union Breast Cancer Foundation, Huntington, New York got $2,428,818, but gave only 9.13% to actual boobs.

The Veteran’s Fund, Chesapeake, Virginia netted a cool $1,466,500 but gave a mere 8.44% to charity.

Foundation for American Veterans, Inc., West Bloomfield, Michigan made $5,141,472! …just under 9% (8.98) went to veterans.

We’d be a little wary of any “Veterans with Cancer” funds that call in the coming weeks. If they do, ask them for verification, like a veteran’s blood sample or maybe a have them bring a cancerous veteran over for inspection in a bubble.

No! They aren’t in a bubble because they have cancer! …They’re in the bubble because they’re old and that’s gross.

Pujols’ agent, Dan Lozano, pulled a Jerry McGuire Tuesday, leaving his prominent sports agency and taking with him his list of big time clients.

“Danny Lozano has left Beverly Hills Sports Council, and we wish him well in his future endeavors,” said agent Jeff Borris.

Lozano’s departure is likely to have major ramifications within the industry. Pujols, an eight-time All-Star and three-time Most Valuable Player with the St. Louis Cardinals, is closing in on free agency, and is expected to sign an enormous contract in the aftermath of big recent deals for Minnesota catcher Joe Mauer, Philadelphia first baseman Ryan Howard and others.

Pujols is making $16 million this year in the final year of a guaranteed seven-year, $100 million contract. The Cardinals have a $16 million club option on him for 2011.

Sounds like a good move to us. Why share any more of the agent cut of a contract nearing $300 Million?  …This could mean Lozano will be pushing Pujols to go big with no discounts for the home team.

Lozano’s other big name clients include Jimmy Rollins and the Ranger’s Michael Young, though its not known if they have expressed interests in staying with the now solo Lozano.

What is known is that sometimes I name drop the names of hot chicks that have nothing to do with St. Louis on here as an excuse for posting their picture.

Christina Aguladasdlkdsajfsdaf….whatever.

via  ESPN

Stan Kroenke shocked everyone by jumping in at the last second to make a play for 100% ownership of the St. Louis Rams. That’s fine and all, but the Rams had a buyer already. Their’s way better stuff for Kroenke to drop his cash on…

10. Arby’s. Who doesn’t love Arby’s?

9. A soccer team.

8. 4,000 pairs of white socks. Never buy socks again.

7. Nickelback. So they’ll never play again.

6. 1 lion, 1 gorilla, 1 cage, tons of seats.

5. The cast and set of Charles In Charge.

4. A massaging robot…an asian massaging robot. For us. As a present.

3. Kryptonite, to finally stop that insufferable Superman!

2. Me. *wink*

1. Better hair.

St. Louis has another casino.  Let me guess, its name has “arch”, “gateway” or “river” in it.

The [River City] casino opened after a parade and ceremonies where St. Louis Cardinals’ baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith pulled a lever on an oversized slot machine to officially open the doors. The 90,000 square foot casino game floor features more than 2,000 slot machines and 55 table games.

The odd thing with non-Las Vegas casinos is that they are pretty much old folks home that serve drinks to young people at night.  Come to think of it, even the Vegas casinos are kinda like that, but they are so crazy you can’t tell as much.

Think I’m wrong?  The grand opening of a casino was at 2pm on a Thursday.

2:00pm in the middle of a work day.

Yeah, I bet all kinds of young people and businessmen came flocking out for that ribbon cutting.

Not only that, but I bet like all casinos, they keep it cold as hell in there…kinda like they are trying to perserve something…a casino like this in Lemay, Missouri might as well just cut the crap and start pumping in formaldehyde in through the vents.

via Globe Democrat