53º Partly Cloudy


  • Front Page
  • Happening
  • Media
  • Crime
  • Sports
  • Going Out
  • Politics
  • Send a Tip
  • About

liquor

Crime

Maybe Just Don’t Worry About Line Cutters in North St. Louis


Posted by The Editor on 01 Mar 2011 /
Tweet



So you’re waiting in line to by your booze…at 10pm on a Sunday…and a dude rolls in and cuts in line. What do you do? Well if you’re in St. Peters, you probably do the old passive agressive “Ugh! Really?” Where you’re kinda talking to the guy behind you, but not really. If you’re really ballsy, and since you’re getting booze at 10pm on a Sunday we’re guessing you might be, maybe you tell the guy what’s up…get in his face a little bit. Tell him how much you need this 40 and he’s a little punk for cutting in line and cutters suck. Back of the line buddy!

Ok, but if you’re in North St. Louis…maybe just don’t worry about it and keep your yap shut.

Police said the victim, identified as 39-year-old Stephen Ward, got into an argument with the suspect after that man cut in front of several other people in line. The suspect walked out of the store, then came back in and began shooting at the victim.

Ward was shot in the torso and pronounced dead at the scene.

Seems like a possible overreaction there. Unless the line was super long which can totally be “shoot a guy in the torso” annoying. Maybe he had important stuff going on…business stuff…so he had no time for pleasantries, personal attention or time to play catch,  show up at your birthday party or even your mother’s funeral! No! Mister big shot out getting smokes for 27 years! …ahem. Where were we?

Oh, maybe he was there earlier in the day and had “backsies”. We know that generally the rule is no backsies, but pointing a gun to our head tends to grease the wheels on getting that rule temporarily waived. It also “greases” our pants.

via KSDK, and hat tip to the RFT for this is 2011 St. Louis death #9!


Crime

Mayor of East St. Louis Finally Realizes East St. Louis Sucks


Posted by The Editor on 05 Oct 2009 /
Tweet



eaststlouis1_ilAlvin Parks ran for and won the titles of Mayor and Liquor Commissioner of that turd of a city, our neighbors to the east that piggy-backs off of our name, East St. Louis.  Throughout the whole process however, Parks never did realize that East St. Louis is, in fact, a pit of booze, drugs, crime and despair.  All of a sudden Parks is “fed up” with the situation in East St. Louis, and he’s going to enact a plan to fix it:  Move up the ole selling liquor cut off.  It is now 1am.

In a statement, Mayor, Liquor Commissioner, Hotel Bellhop and whatever other hats the man owns said:

This notice comes most directly as a result of a sudden rash of major violence surrounding and/or stemming from some of our liquor selling establishments. Up to this point, none of the homicides for 2009 have been directly connected to liquor. We suddenly have two.

Wait…what?  I don’t even know what to do with this.  ”sudden rash of major violence?”  East St. Louis.  We are talking about East St. Louis.  ”Up to this point, none of the homicides for 2009 have been directly connected to liquor.”   What?!?!  How can this stat be said?  Do homicides that are directly connected to liquor have to be a murder committed with a broken bottle?  Every other murder ever that started with an angry guy getting drunk doesn’t count now?  Even if we can agree on that insane premiss, you really think moving the cut-off time an hour or so back is really going to help?   …the way we see it, it will just make the murders happen earlier at night.

Yeah, this plan is going to work out great.  Get those “two” drunken murders down to zero and East St. Louis will be perfect.

via KSDK

photo credit: The Siren Archive


0

subscribers

1,409

followers




Note: This website, and the content within, may not necessarily be the views of the author's employers, friends or family.

Copyright © 2012