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lightning

Happening

St. Louis Under Lightning Siege!


Posted by The Editor on 22 Jul 2010 /
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St. Louis is being attacked by lightning! …Is there some biblical situation going on we aren’t aware of?

First on Monday, two people were struck by lightning. One person, someone STLToday called a “seasonal laborer”, in Forest Park by the Jewel Box and the other Chouteau.

A seasonal laborer was reportedly struck at the Jewel Box in Forest Park, Capt. Michael Pickett said. The worker was conscious and alert when paramedics arrived but was taken to Barnes-Jewish Hospital for evaluation. Pickett said it appeared to have been a secondary strike that may have hit the ground first.

[A] man, 54, who was working on a building at 2017 Chouteau Avenue. The man was using a rotary tool that touched a water pipe during a lightning strike, Pickett said.

Just yesterday, we learn of the news that our town’s beloved City Museum has been damaged by a lightning strike (move  your lookin’ balls right)!

What the hell is going on? Have the St. Louis brass jailed some greek god’s mortal son? Have we angered the man upstairs in some way?  We sacrificed our classical music station for you! What more do you want dammit?!! What’s that? …You want another sacrifice? You want the perfect scalp of KSDK’s Mike Bush? Jesus. Um…I mean “dang”. But God, if you take our Mike Bush who will report the four “good” news stories each night? We’ll make you a deal: KSDK’s Leisa Zigman and KTVI’s Charlie Marlow instead of Bush. You think about it.

Until then, Paul McKee told us to tell you that if you level a few buildings by lightning strikes in North City that would be awesome.

via KSDK and STLToday


Happening

Three Chicks Got Hit By Lightning


Posted by The Editor on 01 Jun 2010 /
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“Hey its storming. Lets go to the park!”

“Ow.”

“Did we just get hit by lightning?”

“I think so.”

“We should tell someone.”

“Ok. How about a park ranger?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I’m going to sit down.”

As storms rolled through the area Monday, three females on their way to St. Vincent County Park said they believed they were struck by lightning while en route.

The females, ages 22, 18, and 12 approached a park official and said notified the officer of their condition. When paramedics arrived on scene, the females were on the ground.

We didn’t think it worked that way but ok, sure. Why not?

So far tests looking for any super powers have been negative…doctors think if the lightning would have killed the girl’s parents, the chances might have been greater.

In a related story: When you google “Lightning Girls” to get an image for a post like this, you get a bunch of photos of the Tampa Bay Lightning Girls. Tests looking for any more interest in this story by my penis have all come back positive.

via KSDK


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