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Rangers Manager Ron Washington Sounds Just How You’d Think He’d Sound in his Game 7 Pep Talk


Posted by The Editor on 08 Nov 2011 /
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Our friends at Joe Sports Fan won the internet yesterday after posting a tape of the Game 7 pre-game pep talk Ron Washington gave to his team. While the Rangers talk about hunting down the “leak” and feeding him to Nolan Ryan’s dogs  and then back-peddle and say it’s been taken care of, lets list our top 5 favorite parts:

#5: “[Game 6] was one of the most tremendous baseball games I’ve ever had the pleasure to be a part of.”

No argument there.

#4: “We can play this fucking game. No doubt about it…and we can beat those mother-fuckers over there. No doubt about it.” 

Apparently there was a little doubt after all.

#3: “Last night was a bitch.”

You are right about that, Michael Young. …but then you were totally wrong about saying how you “got this”.

#2: Everyone’s a fucking champion.

If there’s one thing we learned from listing to Washington’s speech 13 times, it’s that everyone’s a fucking champion. The Rangers are champions, the Cardinals are champions, and the guy that leaked the tape is a champion. Wait, are we saying champions champions? Because then just the Cardinals. But if just general Champions, then the Rangers are in there too because they are the Champs of the American League and 3/7ths of the World Series. Yea! Everyone’s kind of a winner!

#1: “Fuck Carp”

Washington interjects: “…I just came out of the press conference up there and all they wanna talk about is Carpenter…and you know what I said? Motha fuck Carp.” Then someone says “No you didn’t!” to which Washington replied “Yeah I did! …if you read between the lines I said ‘Motha fuck Carp.” …ok, then so you didn’t say that. Between the lines means you didn’t actually say it right? We’re confused. Wait, is this like how everyone’s a champion, when only the Cardinals really are? Oh Ron Washington! You are delightful.

Good luck to the Rangers staff member that recorded the speech! People have been killed for a lot less in Texas.


Sports

JoeSportsFan Figures Out Airport Shops Suck Balls


Posted by The Editor on 27 Aug 2010 /
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Our friends at JoeSportsFan.com and KFNS.com just released their expose on the absolute crappiness of the Lambert Airport sports shop “Hometown Favorites”. Summery? Pedro Guerrero is prominently displayed. Pretty much all you need to know to see where this is going.

Its no surprise of course. Airports in general are set in their own little world. A scary world where an 87 year old woman can take down a plane with a pair of safety scissors, a Burger King Whopper with Cheese costs $9.45 and Mark Mulder is still punching out major league hitters rather than sitting at home with a stain on his shirt yelling at his shoulder.

Not only that, but we aren’t talking about just any airport, we are talking about Lambert airport. When the rest of the world’s airports have gone with new LCD monitors and carpet that doesn’t look like my 8th grade trapper-keeper, Lambert says no!”We like big giant blue monitors, and the carpet is an homage to the opening sequence of Saved by the Bell thank you very much! Hey wait! What are all these planes doing here? Why is this one going to some place people want to go to, like Las Vegas?! …oh. It has a 6 hour layover in New York? Ok. That sounds more like the ‘Lambert Way’”.

Full Story @ KFNS.com


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