Hey neighbors! It looks like Mr. Joe Edwards is getting his trolley!

[T]he federal government is pitching in $25-million toward a trolley car that would run between University City and western parts of St. Louis.

This $44-million total project would run trolley cars between City Hall down Delmar, then south on Debaliviere to the Missouri history museum on Debaliviere in Forest park.

For a while it looked like it may never happen, but now it looks like it could be in place as soon as 2012, according to Edwards.

We love Joe, who has always been very nice to us, because we love what he has done for the Loop area, but this Photoshopping idea just wouldn’t leave our heads and when the news of the $25 million government grant came down it was time to finally make our dream come true of turning Joe in to “Mr. Edwards”.

…the only difference being that when Joe’s trolley takes off it doesn’t go to a magical kingdom, it goes past 2 closed gas stations and a Wellfare office.

If you are a fan of Punching Kitty on Facebook, you saw us post a link to the RFT article about Joe “Loop Godfather” Edward’s plans for the Loop Trolley take one step further.  Exciting news to be sure, with its short run to Forest Park and back and its classic look, it will no doubt be a cool addition to the Loop and add to it’s “Coolest Street” cred.

But should the cars be in that classic design like Edwards currently plans, or should the cars take on a more modern feel.  Someone in St. Louis thinks they should opt for the modern approach, but not simply for aesthetics:

[Classic-style trams have the same problem]: access.  Stepping up into them is not friendly to wheelchairs, strollers, bikes, small kids or just a person carrying luggage or packages. The Loop Trolley folks want that vintage look rather than providing the best transportation for the 21st Century.  They are looking backward rather than forward.

Filming a period movie?  Great, use [the classic-styled cars].  Investing tens of millions in a modern transportation system that will last into the second half of the 21st Century?  Wrong choice!  The Loop Trolley folks are stuck in 1904.  The World’s Fair is over guys.

The above quote was from Steve Patterson of UrbanReviewSTL and honestly, being of the able-bodied sort [Editor's Note: and I mean really able-bodied...you should see us in our hot old-timey onsie bathing suit!  H-O-T!], this is an issue we hadn’t thought of.  Patterson goes on to suggest that what Edwards should invest in is the low-sitting modern-style tram cars which would allow for easy wheelchair entry.

We see Patterson’s point, and emphasize for the pain in that ass that must be, but we don’t exactly agree with him.  If these plans were for a city-wide public transportation system, we would be 100% behind him in his thoughts of total and complete handicap access to the train cars, but that’s really not what the plans for the Loop Trolley are.  The plans have the train cars going east on Delmar to DeBaliviere and down to roughly the Metrolink station by the entrance for Forest Park making this not a full blown public transportation system, but more of a novelty and a throwback to the old trolley system that gave the Loop its name meaning the classic look of the trains is of the utmost importance.  This won’t be a system that people will be flooding on to go to work or to reach a section of town that was hard to get to before, this will be more akin to the “Its a Small World” ride at Disney World.  We are sure that something can be worked out to get wheelchair access to the trains when the need arrises, but to go to the step of having a modern, monorail-style car purchased for the 2-3 mile ride to the park and back would be losing the entire spirit of the project and frankly make us look a little stupid.

What do you think?  Let us know in the comment or by calling the tip line.

[Photo Source: looptrolley.org]

Let me start off with this.  I’ve met Joe Edwards a few times now.  He’s awesome.  He’s done a lot of good for St. Louis and the Loop specifically.  He sells one of the best hamburgers in the world at Blueberry Hill.  …and his website for the Pageant sucks.

I’m not sure when they redesigned this, but I hope it wasn’t long ago because knowing something like this existed in the world for longer than a few days makes me scared and nervous like Sigourney Weaver with the Alien running around her ship.

Maybe you think I’m being harsh.  I’m not.  Lets discuss.

Lets start with the background image.  You know, the one that looks like it came off a zebra running through a bad acid trip.  Frankly, this would probably be the least offensive design aspect of this site if the damn thing made it across the whole damn site!  It just stops.  It doesn’t fade, it just stops…in to yet another shade of purple!  …oh.  Unless you are on the Links page (for instance), then it cuts to stark white.

Next we have the…paper?…the “I don’t know what its supposed to be” pattern behind the content.  Its horrible and it repeats far too much.

Then there’s the red.  The horrible horrible red.  There’s a reason no one really uses real red on a website:  It looks like this and it makes people’s eyes bleed.  Wanna use red?  Fine.  Use a shade of red, darker, lighter, whatever…just don’t use red red and especially don’t use this much red red.

We love you Joe and thats why we have to be tough.  A place like yours with just great artists going through it every night (and a great bar that stays open until 3am) deserves a site that doesn’t look like it came from 1996 (For you web geeks, its a table based layout too.)!   You’ve been led astray from the web promise land by some kid that owns a computer or some douche that bought “HTML for Dummies” and decided to start a “Web Design Company” to supplement his income from Quiktrip.  It happens to a lot of people Joe, but the first step is recognizing the problem.

We just thought it would be best to come from someone that loves your burgers more than anyone.