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jersey shore

Going Out

St. Louis Prepares for the Coming of Snooki


Posted by The Editor on 10 Mar 2011 /
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So far St. Louis has had Jersey Shore’s The Situation visit downtown herpes petri dish F15teen, we’ve been taken over by New Jersey on South Park and at some point Paulie D played music in town while wearing headphones…but only one ear pressed in to them so he looks like a cool DJ and doesn’t hurt his hair, so the fact that Snooki is now coming to town along with WWE’s Raw next week is of little surprise.

She is a New York Times best selling author, a reality star on cable’s highest rated series Jersey Shore* and currently graces the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine, but will she get Raw next Monday?

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi will bring the party to Monday Night Raw at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Mo. on Monday, March 14 as the guest star. Raw will air live from St. Louis at 9/8c on USA Network.

If professional wrestling and Snookie from Jersey Shore are coming to town at the same time, we might as well go all in by burning down a library and constructing a Fuddruckers in it’s place. Maybe she’ll prove us wrong though and use her time in the WWE spotlight to read from her best selling book “A Shore Thing” Sure she’ll have to show the pictures to the pro wrestling crowd, but with passenges like this…

He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.

or

Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.

…you’re sure to with the crowd over! Or they may just fluff up the back hair poking out of their home-made sleeveless t-shirt and take a nap.

No, they’ll probably do something other than reading…well actually we don’t know having never seen a pro wresting anything. Despite our inexperience, we know enough to realize that this isn’t a good sign:

via Lords of Pain


Crime

Mugshots: Our Very Own Snookie!


Posted by The Editor on 10 Aug 2010 /
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We know St. Louis doesn’t come up with all the new fads ourselves, but we still get some joy when we somehow manage to create our own little version of that fad.

We have our own Snookie from Jersey Shore!

Check out this mug shot!

She’s got the look…check! Weird name? Well she’s less than 100 years old and her name is Agnes…check!

But does she “party”? You bet! KMOV’s description reads:

Agnes Rybak, 20, was charged on August 6, 2010, with unlawful consumption of an alcoholic beverage.

Check!


Going Out

Jersey Shore’s The Situation Comes to St. Louis


Posted by The Editor on 14 Jan 2010 /
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In a move that can only described as the greatest attempt ever to collect as many douche bags in one room at the same time, St. Louis’ Club15 is footing the bill to bring Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, the most infamous cast member of MTV’s reality show “Jersey Shore” in to St. Louis.

[Editor's Note: If you haven't seen any of Jersey Shore, put down your book Milhouse and watch this little clip to catch up.]

Club15, the restaurant/club fronted by former Cardinal slugger Jim Edmunds, is already known for its nightly collection of jersey chasers and St. Louis “Situations” has decided to hire Sorrentino to “host” on January 23rd.  By that we mean, he will show up late, take his shirt off 5 minutes in to the appearance, get drunk and then leave because “fools be trippin’” around 12am only to go a little too far north and end up being some crack dealer’s bitch for the night because it turns out pointing to your abs constantly only intimidates other douche bags, not drug dealer with guns.

Shortly after being released from the hospital, Sorrentino will still go right back to pointing at his abdomen, but hence forth his nickname will be “The Colostomy Bag”


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