Sick of those stupid Miller and Coors commericals that plays constantly during the NFL season, mercilessly beating the hell out of a once semi-humorus premise.

Well you have one more season to get through.

Anheuser-Busch’s flagship brand Bud Light will be the official beer sponsor of the National Football League, edging out rival MillerCoors, which said Tuesday it wouldn’t renew its deal.

Anheuser-Busch’s six-year deal, which begins in the 2011 season, is worth more than $1 billion, a person close to the league said Tuesday.

So much for that whole “Inbev will cut the Bud Light marketing money” thing huh?  Also interesting is that with a six year deal starting in 2011, there’s a chance St. Louis might be the home of the NFL beer sponsor, but have no local NFL team to watch.

The good news though is those damn Coors Light commercials with the coach videos are gone after this year as I don’t think you would get access to those videos without being the official sponsor of the NFL. It’s exciting to look forward to…horsies playing football?  …dammit. Bud Light commercials suck now too.

All of this reminds me of a story…I’m an awesome chick magnet that beats up guys that pop their collar and still have their frat letters on their car more than 2 years after graduating from college.

I didn’t say it was a long story.

You can’t just get the InBev Anheuser-Busch big fuzzy horses to come to your sweet sixteen party for a bag of carrots any more. You need cold hard cash, because Belgians hate you.

Anheuser-Busch has started charging $2,000 a day for Clydesdales appearances to help offset the increased costs of hauling, feeding and caring for the brewer’s iconic horses.

Every year, A-B gets more requests for its 250 Clydesdales than it can meet so the new fee will also help keep demand in line with what’s available, he said.

Let me tell you something. Totally not worth it. All the horses do is walk up, show you their teeth and then shit on your lawn. They don’t play football, they don’t have donkey friends, and they don’t have snow fights. Hell, they only look majestic until they get closer and you find out they smell so much like ass and hops you thought you just tripped in to a frat party.

Here’s a tip: Head up Jefferson to Natural Bridge Road, take a right and turn in to the first alley on your right. Shoranda will take a dump on your lawn for way less than 2 grand.

via St. Louis Business Journal

BabyBeerBottles.com was selling little gag beer bottles that even included a detachable nipple for the top of the “bottle” and logos that looked like Budwiser and Miller Lite.  But not anymore, because Anheuser-Busch InBev [Editor's Note: Worst. Name. Ever.] is actively suing their balls off.

“Defendants obviously intend to profit from the famous Anheuser-Busch trademarks by confusing and deceiving consumers with defendants’ blatant copying,” A-B writes in a suit filed Monday in federal court in St. Louis. “Defendants’ offensive and inappropriate merchandise tarnishes the distinctive quality of Anheuser-Busch’s trademarks and dilutes the ability of those trademarks to serve as symbols of the high-quality and superior products the public has come to expect from Anheuser-Busch.”

Sounds like they are the ones that could use a bottle.

The trademark they are referring to is the unmistakeable red white and blue sticker, which BabyBeerBottles.com replaced with “BunWiper”. Clever. [Editor's Note: Shouldn't that be b-u-m rather than bun?]

Its also worth noting the  despite the high and mighty lawyer talk above from AB the BabyBeerBottles.com site did have an extensive “warning”

“If you are an adult that cannot keep real beer, or a real beer bottle away from your toddler, you should not purchase this gag gift — Please leave the site now!” the site said. “This product is meant to be used for gag purposes only. It is not meant to encourage underage drinking. It is for adults to use responsibly, as they wish (isn’t it silly we have to say all this?)”

When contacted by Punching Kitty the defandants were surprised by the lawsuit, not because of the trademarks in use, but because…

We honestly thought that Anheuser-Busch InBev had fired everyone by now.

Hmm. Good point.

via St. Louis Business Journal

Copy of BabyBeerBottles.com (the site is now down) via The Smoking Gun