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horrible

Media

We Broke ESPN 101′s Promo Format Equation


Posted by The Editor on 23 Jun 2010 /
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If you’ve even listen to 101 ESPN, the city’s leading sports talk station, you’ve no doubt heard their promos.

“Randy Karraker rides his bike to work…”

“D’Marco Farr is blah blah…”

“Bob Ramsey something…”

How do they do it?! How do they make such great promos that never* want to make you bash your head against the dashboard and then hit the dial so hard you break your radio? Well we took the promos the lab and tried to figure out their secret. It took a lot of work, at least three beakers with blue liquid bubbling over, at least one of those twirly drippy things, and two lab coats, but we got it!

The secret formula to the 101 ESPN promo is…

[Personality Name] is/does [something wacky] but that just [something awesome] + [rarely audible movie quote] + Hear [name] on 101 ESPN!

The key here is the inaudible movie quote in the middle. That’s what takes this normal promo and makes its special enough that we never* hear them and then make eye-contact with the car next to us and realize he’s also contemplating suicide and make a mental pact to drive in to one another hopefully either killing us or at least destroying our radios in the crash.

Look, we know you are the sports talk “leader” and you don’t have to try at this point with the other guy buying up crap like old lady at an antique store, but these promos have to stop. Enough with the horrible movie quotes!

* By never, we mean always.


Media

STLToday Takes Annoying Ads to the Next Level


Posted by The Editor on 23 Jul 2009 /
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Hi STLToday.com, thanks for coming over, have a seat.

You know that show on A&E where these people confront someone that is doing drugs or whatever and thus is in desperate need of money so sometimes they start whoring themselves out to anyone that will give them a buck even if what they want to do to them is totally messed up?

Today we are doing that for you.

No no no!  Sit down!  You need to hear this.

I went to your sports section the other day and I got this:

stltoday_sports_ad

This kind of crap isn’t cool.  I don’t know how long you’ve been doing this…maybe you’ve been doing this on Life & Style for a while now and I just never noticed…but it needs to stop.  I know they gave you some money so you could continue your nasty ways for a little longer, but this isn’t good, don’t go down this way.

Blocking the whole page with an ad?

…and an ad for some girly pre-teen show on ABC Family?  …on the Sports page?!  Its just wrong.

Maybe we share some of the blame…everyone knows you have been having money troubles, we just never thought it would go this far, get this bad.  I doubt you would have listened to us though.

Ok, ok…stop crying.

You know you have to get rid of this stuff now, right?  Its no good for you!

Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?


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