Everyone in St. Louis either knows people that are insistent “High School question poppers” or is one themselves. It’s time we start converting people to put a stop to this. To start, feel free to print this out and tape it above every urinal local salesmen use.
[Editor's Note: Link to full version here.]
You know how when a local high school anoints someone the interim principal everyone wants to talk about the big news and really pour over the effectiveness of the person who’s job is to keep the seat warm for the eventual principal, which then obviously leads to people clamoring for a local news anchor no one’s heard of to go on to the station’s website and tell everyone what he thinks about the interim principal after calling a meeting with her as if he, the principal or any of this matters?
What the hell do you mean you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about?! Ok, so maybe the that senario isn’t exactly true, but if so, no one told KMOV’s Mark Schnyder, because he did the part about meeting with the interim principal and telling everyone what he thinks of her on KMOV.com anyway.
I met Dayle Burgdorf Thursday morning at University City High for an interview on her effort to get attendance up at the high school.
She’d been an assistant principal there for years and is currently the interim principal.
While visiting with her during a class change in the hallway, I was entertained watching her watch her students.
Where the hell is this going?
I was glad to see not too many kids had their pants hanging down.
Um…ok.
I noticed a couple. She notice one, she didn’t like it and she made it known immediately. She walked briskly down the hall to catch up with the young man, had him walk back to where we were, got him to cinch up his pants and get back on his way. Nice.
…sounds great. The extra little embarrassment of having the kid walk back to where the reporter for KMOV was standing so he could reprimand the kid in front of him didn’t have anything to do with the fact that she probably wants the “interim” part from her title dropped or anything though right?
I saw a girl walk by wearing shorts waaaay too short.
1…2…3…4. 4 a’s. We’re pretty sure MLA style restricts you to 3 a’s for showing shock at how short a girls shorts are in writing, but we’ll let this slide because this whole article is skewing pretty hard in to “dear diary” territory.
Before I could finish rolling my eyes, I saw Dayle gently stop her and say something to her. I walked over to the interim principal and joked, “Did you compliment her on her shorts?” She told me she told the student to meet her in her office in a few minutes to discuss her wardrobe malfunction.
She told one kid to pull up his pants, but this girl gets a “conversation”? How is it going to be any more of a conversation than “You’re shorts are too short.”
I also appreciated this…
Oooh ellipses! Building the drama…love it…
Another girl was wearing a nice dress…
More ellipses! What’s coming next?! It was a nice dress…but she had a holes in the back to make it “ass-less”? It was a nice dress…but it was just low cut enough to show her “Dick Sucka” tattoo across her chest?
Looked professional even. Dayle complimented the student on how nice the dress looked. Positive reinforcement. Gotta like that, too.
Total let down. Worse. Ellipses. Ever.
Schnyder continued “I saw another kid playing Madden on a PSP walking down the hall, but the principal quickly took it and threw it away. Later two other kids were chasing a large hoop down the hallway using sticks to keep it going. She told the good lads to ‘Keep it up!’ and gave them both a penny for a malted beverage during their lunch break.” After that he just kept typing “Change is scary.” over and over again, finally closing with the money shot:
All I know is if I was a parent of a U-City High School kid, I’d want that “interim” tag removed off Dayle Burgdorf’s title right away.
There you go. Well if Mark Schnyder thinks so, she’s got my vote too! Feel free to give them your vote as well! Hell since no one actually has votes in the matter of the interim principal of University City’s high school, I gave him 4 votes. He almost earned 5 votes from me, but he forgot to do the KMOV reporter story thing where they oddly switch to the third person at some point.
Mark Schnyder is a reporter at KMOV-TV. He will read your comments to his blog.
There it is! You dog, sneaking it in at the end! You got yourself 5 votes now buddy! Someone at KMOV please give Mark a peppermint candy and a pat on the head. He made a difference today!
via KMOV
A summer band camp in O’Fallon, IL is being investigated after a complaint that marijuana-laced brownies were given out as a prank. To us, this “prank” sounds like a way to waste your pot on a bunch of band geeks, but maybe there’s one of those overly hot ones these guys really wanted to see if they could get her high and…have her blow your woodwinds if you get what we’re putting down. You know, there’s usually at least one chick in the band that is abnormally hot. She’s still a total dork usually, but that’s the beauty of it. Girls that are hot and know they are hot are the worst, but who are hot and don’t know they’re hot? That little miracle is how shallow end guys date in the deep end.
Police say the brownies secretly tainted with marijuana were given to 23 students at the camp, but none of them experienced ill effects.
…so then how the hell did anyone know?
Police say they learned of the prank after one suspected student told another about it, and that student reported it to a school official.
That little bitch! Oh man. Game over son. 1. You’re already in the band, and now 2. You’re ratting out guys giving out pot brownies? Kids of O’Fallon Township High School: If you ever want to give this “student” the old “What a dickfor?” joke, we wouldn’t bother as at this rate he really won’t know until he’s 36 and clumsily rolling around with the big lady he met at a his mother’s church event. Both of them will end up crying at the end, and it will be another 12 years before he knows if he got his fingers in third base or just that permanently moist space between belly rolls 5 and 6.
via KMOX
Way back in March of this year we told you about the Wentzville Timberland High school, and their teaching staff’s stomping on the poor little journalists of their school paper because they wouldn’t let them write about tattoos. Here’s how we summarized the situation it at the time:
No one is arguing that the principal has the last call in his school, and we aren’t going to get in to that here. This is really about letting the kids put their argument out there, be heard, and have a rational discussion about it. Hell, they even cared enough to start a blog about the subject, and just wanted to be heard by the school board.
…of course by the time all the people on the other side of the coin got done blathering about how censorship is good, time was up and the meeting was over. Go home. F*ck you kids.
Seriously. That’s what happened.
Here we are, eight months after that story, the kids lost and the school board effectively got away with being giant dicks to the very people they are trying to help, all over some silly article about tattoos not being allowed in the school newspaper. The only real winner was the nutcase parents cheered for the principal because he was “saving their children from tattoos”. Guess what guys, the minute your little Jessica gets out of the house her drunk ass is getting a flower on her ankle and won’t tell you until she’s 34.
…especially true since she’ll be getting some practice tattoos from the school this week.
Yup, this week, the Wentzville school district gave out temporary tattoos in support of “Red Ribbon Week,” and even went as far as to encourage the kids to put the tattoos on right away! So the Wentzville school district is not only taking a odd step in their anti-tattoo stance, but now are also taking the role of your drunk friend at the tattoo parlor: “Do it right now man! Don’t think about it! You know you are down right? You support the cause! Just get the tattoo so you can show everyone what you believe it!”
Then 20 years later, when putting away groceries on the top shelf, you can hear your 5 year old child his mother why she has roses growing out of your ass crack and through the eyes of a skull. Because it’s bitchin’ son…and your mother is a skank. Some day when you’re older I’ll explain the Winger tattoo on my left forearm and why you should never do cocaine.
via The Tip Line!
Saturday night, the parents of a “4.0 average” daughter living in East Carondelet, Illinois went to bed with their graduation party of 20 kids still going. They woke up after 2am with about 100 kids scattering as police were trying to get a handle on the situation while trying to dodge the drunken driving of one party goer.
Disappointment is what James Hasty and his wife were feeling Sunday after hosting a graduation party for their high school Senior Saturday night. “Straight-A” student, 4.0 grade point average,” Hasty says describing his 18 year old daughter.
Chick sounds like a stone-cold slut. Good grades + probably pretty cute + popular + we’re guessing a member of every cool-kid club there could be = sluttage.
Police were called around 2:00 a.m. for a report of a fight at the home. When officers arrived, a number of teens tried to run including an 18-year-old who police say got into a green full-sized Chevy pick-up and took off down a dirt road. When an officer, on foot, tried to stop the truck police say the teen kept driving. “He made eye contact with him and the officer had to jump out of the way or he would have been struck,” said Woodall. Then police say the teen took off driving through farm fields, trying to evade officers.
Well played son. Nothing like running over a cop to complete that high school time. Here’s hoping you are the star quarterback buddy, or you’re in some deep doo.
Back to the parents, how the hell do you sleep through a party ballooning to 5 times its size and the cops rolling in? We’d love to hear the punishment for this party-turn-trainwreck, and also wonder what kind of penalties you, as the owners of the property, are looking at. We at Punching Kitty have some sway with the East Carondelet police, so if you want our help to ease your issues, just shoot us an email with your address, phone number, names, photos of your daughter, her cell phone number and places where she’s ticklish and we’ll see what we can do.
via KSDK
You may have recently heard that Sedalia’s School District is run by spineless morons, well stories that stupid tend to grow legs on the internet and according to The Riverfront Times, the little T-Shirt Shop that created the shirt is now overrun with orders for the banned nerd-art.
Last week one of the owners of the shop told the RFT’s sister paper in Kansas City that the T-shirts have sold like hot cakes thanks to the online popularity of the ban.
We’re just getting too many requests,” says Jack Lewis, who co-owns Main Street with Mike Ingram. “We’re getting them from foreign countries, about all the states.”
Its things like this that renew my faith in humanity.
Dammit. Now we want one too.
