From The Dirty:

THE DIRTY ARMY: My little sister pulled this up for me today, she was at this Halloween party. The fat, orange slob in the middle is Mary L*nk, proud mother of 5 but it has been said she lets her daughter’s homeless felon friends live with her as well. The more shocking part of this picture is her seven year old son in the bottom right corner. My sister mentioned that she lets them have parties so often that if the police come to their house one more time, she will get her children taken away… which may be for the better.

Nothing more fun at a party than bringing down a 7 year, handing him a drink and starting the little tyke off on the road that will no doubt lead to him giving rimjobs for booze money and then killing a fellow homeless man just so he can get an erection.  I’m sure they also hung around and got the kid to cuss and repeat sexual innuendo because there’s no higher form of comedy than that!  …well other than bunny ears. *sigh*  I hate everyone in this photo.

It not like The Dirty to usually be any kind of a moral compass, but when you’re right, you’re right.  Take this broads kids away!

Also, someone tell the girl in the front left that Halloween is when you should get dressed up and look hot.  Borrowing your brother’s referee shirt with that smile of yours makes you look like you just escaped from a special school.

Halloween is only a few days away and if you are like most people, not only do you not have a costume yet, but I just reminded you of that and you went “Crap!” and now everyone around you at work thinks you screwed something important up or got fired via email and really want to ask you “What?” but are worried that you might drag them in to the problem if they do.

Anyway its cool duderson!  We have some ideas!

First off we should say that these ideas are really just for the fellas.  Why?  Because girls have it easy on Halloween!  You’re choices this year, as they are every year, are as follows:

1. Sexy Kitty (Give yourself  black eye and be a punched kitty!)

2. Sexy Superhero

3. Sexy Playboy Bunny

4. Sexy Devil

5. Sexy School girl

That’s settled.  Now for the guys:

1. Dave Duncan

This is an easy one.  Get a grey wig  or that grey hair spray, throw on a jersey (bonus points if you actually have a Duncan jersey) and then bitch all night about how everyone hates you and your son just because he can’t hit a ball if his life depended on it.  Also, if you see a guy dressed as Anthony Reyes, kick him in the balls.

2.  Jack Buck’s House

Wear all black, put soot on your face and hold the burn edge of an old baseball card all night.

3.  The Rams

Just don’t show up to the party.

4. John Abule

Any ole zombie costume will do just fine for this.

5. Mayor Slay

Spend tons of money to make sure you win the costume contest even though the people  you are running against have no chance anyway, and then when you when, take the costume off and don’t really do much until the next costume.

So there you go, super easy costumes with a St. Louis vibe!

Be sure to send in photos of you in these or any other costume when you are out this halloween, and that goes double for the ladies.  In fact, send photos of you in your sexy kitty costume and we’ll pick the best one to be in our header for a while!

You guys: “What a great idea you just had.”

Me: “Thanks, I know.”