“Hey its storming. Lets go to the park!”

“Ow.”

“Did we just get hit by lightning?”

“I think so.”

“We should tell someone.”

“Ok. How about a park ranger?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I’m going to sit down.”

As storms rolled through the area Monday, three females on their way to St. Vincent County Park said they believed they were struck by lightning while en route.

The females, ages 22, 18, and 12 approached a park official and said notified the officer of their condition. When paramedics arrived on scene, the females were on the ground.

We didn’t think it worked that way but ok, sure. Why not?

So far tests looking for any super powers have been negative…doctors think if the lightning would have killed the girl’s parents, the chances might have been greater.

In a related story: When you google “Lightning Girls” to get an image for a post like this, you get a bunch of photos of the Tampa Bay Lightning Girls. Tests looking for any more interest in this story by my penis have all come back positive.

via KSDK

We aren’t sure if this is the first truly “all-male” roller derby team, or if it’s simply the first team to not bother to tuck it back, but its making news all the same.

St. Louis now sports two roller derby teams, one of women, the famed Arch Rivals, and now the GateKeepers. Oh and in case you slipped and fell, hitting your head in your shower this morning…15 times, the GateKeepers coach wants to explain to you what the team name came from.

Scott Meyer, 28, of Brentwood, who coaches the men, added that the team’s name is a nod to the players’ pride in being from St. Louis, the Gateway to the West.

Wow! No way! …ok, now tell me where the Arch Rivals got their name from?!

Lame name or not, GateKeepers have hit the roller derby world and its causing a bit of a stir in the traditionally women-dominated sport. Some women apparently aren’t thrilled with the prospect of competing (ticket-wise) with an all men group. Add to it that apparently the GateKeepers are good as they dropped a thumping on Indiana Race City Rebels in their first game beating them 125-17. Admittedly, we don’t know crap about the roller derby scoring system, but that seems like an ass whipping and if that’s not the case than the scoring system for roller derby is beyond retarded.

The real question is if “original” St. Louis roller derby team worried about the up-start men’s league?

Kirsten O’Loughlin of the Arch Rival Roller Girls said she thinks the more teams the better.

“Guys have been around supporting the league as refs and non-skating officials, so now that they want to do it themselves, why not let them have some fun too?” she said.

The guys say they have more fun though and girls are naturally little bitches when it comes to contact sports.  Kinda…I’m paraphrasing.

[T]he men’s game is faster and more chaotic than the women’s, which relies more on strategy and teamwork.

“Guys tend to play contact sports more than gals as they grow up so they’re more comfortable beating on each other,” she said. “A lot of the ladies have to overcome the instinct to ask ‘Are you OK?’ after they knock someone down.”

You’re right. This does totally look badass! Not pathetic and weird at all.

Here’s the straight dope: The chance of a boob popping out is zero when I go to see your matches. I’ll pass. Let me rephrase: The chance of a boob that I want to see popping out is zero.

If any of you dudes want to lace up and join the team head over to stlgatekeepers.com.

via STLToday

Spotted on St. Louis’ Craigstlist section under “Missed Connections” last night:

i almost killed you with an oatmeal cookie – w4w – 25 (st. louis)

j.w,

i really want to see your smile again. i promise to show you a good time. if anything, just for fun.

think about it…

Hey there! w4w eh? Nice…

Here’s hoping “oatmeal cookie” is a euphemism for “amazing night of crazy lesbian sex where one of us is dressed as a sexy librarian and the other one as a school girl and involved all the hot stuff and none of the weird stuff that lesbians probably prefer but doesn’t fit with male fantasies”

…also we hope “think about it…” is a euphemism for “I taped it.”

Maybe you’ve seen the blog Hot Chicks with Douchebags, well guess what?  We have a few examples of this meme in our very own town…and all it took to find them was a quick trip to the InsideSTL photo gallery!  Shocker right?

You know guys, I’m guessing most of you are sports fans. There’s a sport expression that falls inline with this: “Act like you’ve been there before.” You don’t need to get this excited just because someone pointed a camera at you while you happen to be standing next to a girl.

If any of these are of you, I’m sorry, but you made me do this.

That vacant stare.  That “I’m actually ok looking but at least I put in a little extra time with the makeup and hair so I’m decent looking and when you are drunk tonight you will think I’m the hottest girl on the planet but you’ll regret it because since I know I’m not actually all that great looking, I’m going to cling to you like I’m drowning.” vibe.  This broad is from St. Louis isn’t she?!

Yup, she sure is.

She’s Taylor Momsen from the hit (?) show Gossip Girl on that channel that no one really watches where they keep Rich Gould in cold storage in case something happens to Martin Kilcoyne.

According from her IMDB page she’s been in…Gossip Girl…and high school.  Pretty much it, but apparently she’s a big deal now.

One quick warning though dudes: She’s 16.  …and on that note, her’s a pic of her whole body at the Transformers 2: This Movie Sucked Even Though Megan Fox Is In It premiere.

Here’s her Twitter profile if you are in to that kind of thing.