Fire and the wheel are totally important and we wouldn’t be where we are today without them, but dude…Buffalo Chicken Cupcakes exist now and that’s just too awesome to ignore. But a big thank you to “fire” which helped bake them, and to “the wheel” for…uh…well we’re pretty sure there’s a wheel involved behind the scenes somewhere.

Here’s to Stef, the St. Louisan behind Cup Cake Project.com, and our new favorite person ever.

I didn’t expect them to be particularly good.

When my house started to smell like buffalo wings (there was no chicken involved at this point), I knew I had the flavor right.  When I took a lick of my cupcake batter-laden finger, I began to suspect that I was going to like the buffalo chicken cupcakes.

We previously thought the internet would never produce anything more desirable than crazy websites full of asian porn, but here we are staring just as intently at our monitor, but for a cupcake…drooling and self-touching levels are about the same as well.

via Cup Cake Project (Yes, the recipe is there, and yes, feel free to make some for us.)

Anheuser-Bush Inbev is planning to release a new variant of the Bud Light brand that is sweeter and with a higher alcohol percentage. Initial marketing documents uncovered by Punching Kitty had the beer being marketed as “Zima” but in the end it appears they decided to work off the current in-house trademarks.

Bud Light Platinum will come in a cobalt blue bottle and it will be 6 percent alcohol by volume, compared with Bud Light’s 4.2 percent, the company said.

The brewer said Thursday that the new, sweeter-tasting product will hit shelves in late January and offer a more upscale option for drinkers of light beer.

The new sweeter, get you drunker faster, beer is sure to be popular with gay people, girl people, underage people, and straight dudes who will try it and think to themselves Now see…that, is delightful. It’s just sweet and it’s not too heavy. It really just says… [Makes eye contact with other guy at bar.]  … “What is this crap?! Stupid…chick…dumb beer for sissies who like deliciousness. Does anyone have a football?! Lets throw that around or talk about hot broads or sports that don’t involve Penn State! High five!”

via KMOX

Traffic slowed for east-bound rush hour drivers Monday evening after a truck driver spilled his load all over the place, causing an environmental firm to come up and clean up the mess. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably because a different truck driver did the same thing to your mother last night.

The cargo was described as vaguely as “chicken parts”. Chicken parts that we’re assuming were scraped in to a pile on the road, with each one individually blown on while being held with two fingers…and then thrown back in to the truck. 5 hour rule dude. You’re not going to taste it after a few dunks in that think BBQ sauce packet anyway.

KMOX described the situation thusly…

For most of the evening motorists, East bound on I-70  in North St. Louis had to deal with what may go down as a once in a lifetime event.

Well hold on there skippy. This is hardly a “once in a lifetime event”. Not for this state. Not in this year.

February: Truck Spills 20 Tons of Mayonaise on I-44 Near Springfield

April: Tractor-Trailer Spills Mystery Meat All Over Highway 70 in St. Peters

June: Onions Spilled on Interstate 55 as Missouri’s Truck Spilled Sandwich Nears Completion

As you can see there at the end, we were pretty sure Missouri’s truck drivers were making a giant highway sandwich with the mayo, onions and meat…but “chicken parts”?! Now we’re not so sure. However, we are sure that spilling food or a food like substance in on a Missouri highway or interstate is far from a rare thing this year. Hell, we still have 3 months to go! Lots of time left for some ranch dressing or Easy Cheese spillage to put the finishing touch on this meal.

If anyone has some good recipes that use these ingredients, send them our way!

via KMOX

Budweiser redesigned their can because it’s much easier to change the paint in the canning machine rather than doing anything about the beer inside. Beer that’s not exactly great, but yet not bad enough to be considered ironic for hipsters.

The new design features a cleaner look, one that is less ornate, with a heavier reliance on the color red. The name Budweiser is still written in a cursive script, but now the name is cast in white against a red backdrop instead of blue on white.

…or you could just look at the picture.

These cans are also a benefit to the St. Louis community as we can all agree we got pretty tired of seeing empty versions of the old can designs strewn around our neighborhoods and parks. These will certainly spiff the place up quite a bit. Thinking of it that way, the new Budweiser can really should have ditched the classic red for green or asphalt grey to blend right in once thrown from the window of a pickup truck going 80 mph west on 40 through Chesterfield.

The new can also features a QR code for scanning by smart phones.

Oh. My. God. Finally! You know how many times we’ve been drinking a beer and wondered “What am I drinking right now? Geez, I really don’t know…good thing it’s the future so I can pull out my phone, enter the unlock code, flip to page 5 of my apps, press the QR Scanner app, wait for the camera to start working, look at the can…ugh, hold on that’s the label side where it says the name of the beer, so lets rotate the can a bit…take a picture of the QR code, which then takes me to a website, and…Ah ha! We’re drinking a Budweiser.” The future!!

via STLToday

Though we once described our feelings for Del Taco thusly:

Don’t care how late it is or hungry we are, we will never say yes to the fast food version of rib-jobbing a sweaty Mexican donkey ride guy.

…we do appreciate the unique design of the “brown nipple of Midtown“, and as such, we were a little sad to hear the news that the Del Taco might be leveled for some generic retail building.

The St. Louis Land Clearance Redevelopment Authority approved a blighting and redevelopment plan for the building, which was built to be a Phillips 66 gas station. The plan, said LCRA staffer Dale Ruthsatz, is to knock down the Del Taco replace it with a more pedestrian-oriented retail building of 3,500 to 7,000 square feet.

Let us gaze in to our magic future-telling orb and give you a rundown of how this is going to go down: They’ll describe the impetus to demolish this “landmark” with great purpose! “We’ll have great places to shop for the students of SLU and all midtown residents!” they’ll say. The building will go up with brick and big glass front doors, and soon after, plenty of “lease me!” signs. A few decent places may move in at first, Jimmy John’s may move (since their current nearby location sucks), or some other sandwich place will step up, but it won’t be long before the retail slots will be filled with at least two “fast cash” places with random drunks and homeless guys sitting in the parking lot at all times of the day. The reason for the precipitous fall of retail paradise? That old Del Taco will haunt the space like an indian burial ground, but rather than ghosts, every building will smell like farts. Stale fart smell from late night burritos long since passed doesn’t work for sandwich places, but check cashing places can deal with it since their own customers’ stink of failure tends to cover up pretty much anything else. It’s like a sad reverse Febreze.

via STLToday

Yesterday morning, a trailer flipped over on Highway 70 at the Mid Rivers Mall exit in St. Peters, spilling it’s cargo of what the police think were bratwurst.

After the tractor-trailer exited off eastbound 70 onto north Mid Rivers Mall Drive this morning, it overturned, spilling some of its contents, which St. Peters police believe to be bratwurst.

So they aren’t sure if they were bratwurst, but they believe them to be bratwurst.

“Larry, scoop one of those up and give it a taste. What are those things? … Come on just do it. … Aww. He wouldn’t do it ya’ll! …alright, we’ll just say they’re bratwurst.”

Police also believe there is no irony to the fact that wieners were spilled all over a place called St. Peters at the current time, but they are looking in to the matter and will get back to us right after we “grow the hell up and stop calling here giggling.” It looks like it may be a while.

Lastly, how great of a band name would “Wiener Spill” be? You’re welcome.

via Suburban Journals