You should be ashamed of yourself. The deer are what make Town and Country such a nice place to live. It’s aldermen like you who should be shot.

That’s one of the emails Town and Country Alderman David Karney sent to fellow Alderman Fred Meyland-Smith after the two disagreed on how to handle their community’s deer population problem. We initially guessed it was because Alderman Fred Meyland-Smith uses a hyphenated last name which, as we all know, is only done by people that no respect of the sanctity of last names and deserve nothing but our collective ire.  You think we all have plenty of time to be writing two last names for you?! Oh, there’s a hypen, must be just a single last name…wait, no its not. You’re cheating the system you bastard!

Ahem.

Anyway, Karney didn’t like Meyland-Smith’s idea and because he’s a pussy, he decided to make a bunch of fake email accounts and used them to send threatening emails. The perfect crime…as long as he didn’t send them from his office computer…oh damn. He did. All that’s left to do is own up to it:

Karney publicly apologized and said it was someone else who used his computer to send the email. He will not say who.

Really? Jesus dude, grow a pair. We always thought that Town and Country Aldermen were total badasses…also, by the way, we’re going to start lying at the end of our posts.

via KMOV

STLMedia is passing on a rumor from their anonymous tip line that KMOV she-anchors Vickie Newton and Jasmine Huda are involved in a brewing mess that one can only hope ends up in a Dynasty-level brawl with a 40% clothes-ripping-off-and-a-boob-popping-out chance.

Says the STLMedia source:

Jasmine Huda to anchor the 6 at KMOV, Vicki Newton is furious and had a fit in the middle of the newsroom. The tension between the two has been fun to watch.

…and that’s when Larry Conners makes his move pushing in that baby pool filled with chocolate pudding. They said “Larry, why do you always have so much chocolate pudding mix in your office?”, “When are you ever going to eat that pudding Larry?”, “Come on Larry, take that inflatable baby pool home. You got that thing like 10 years ago.” but they were all fools…fools! Larry Conners: 1, Everyone Else: 0

Lets be clear. We don’t want to mislead anyone. This is the best “chick” fight we’ve seen in a while. “Chick” fights consists of 2+ attractive girls that probably really aren’t fighting as much as they are just wrestling to get people’s attention. They do this because it works. Chick Fights are awesome.

This video below (use headphones) is a “crazy bitch” fight.  One of the combatants is tall and lanky, the other is short and fat with pink hair that gets ripped off and both are really really pissed off. Also a gun is involved for a short time and then they go back to ripping each others shirts off, which would have been cool, had this been a “chick” fight.

Our favorites parts were the guy that tries to break up the fight like 3 times and each time just ends up walking away looking freaked out and the fact that this video had the most epic car on video since the General Lee. I dub thee Sargent Murphy Lee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00IbsvzgNnc

Anyone know where this place is in St. Louis? It looks like a place a mile east on Delmar from the loop, but I can’t tell. There are way too many weaves and boobs I don’t want to see in the way of the scenery.

Not sure if the sorta-thaw we had yesterday loosed up the frozen crazy, but in some crazy crap was going down in the Loop around lunch time.

First at the corner of Leland and Delmar we saw a 70+ year old woman land a punch on a van as it sped through the intersection.  I mean a punch too, nothing accidental.  A freaking punch.

Not more than an hour later, we saw a woman beat the living hell out of a “gentleman” over a video game.  After raining blows to the top of his head, ignoring his pleas to the contrary, she capped off the exhibition by hawking a little lung butter on the top of his head.

Now as if getting whooped by a girl on the street at noon wasn’t bad enough, he had to be watched from less than 2 feet away by a group of onlookers.  His only exclamation, repeated countless times, was simply “Hoes be trippin man!”

Indeed.

Stupid baby.  You can’t take on a grow 26 year old Jefferson County man!  I’m sure you didn’t want to learn that lesson with skull fractures, but well, now you know the ageless lesson: “Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’!”

Jefferson County Prosecutor Forrest Wegge has charged Ronald Wills, 26, of Arnold with felony assault and endangering the welfare of a child after he allegedly beat his girlfriend’s 1-year-old daughter.

The child’s mother left her child in Wills’ care on Aug. 22 to go to work. When she returned, she found her daughter had swelling on her face and head and that Wills was looking for an ice pack to treat her, according to court documents.

Yeah Wills knew he was kicking a baby’s ass!  That’s why he was looking for an ice pack.  You normally wouldn’t do that for a guy that stepped to you gotten beat down, but you know…he was a baby, so after your done giving the baby “two skull fractures, massive facial and head swelling and bruising as well as abdominal trauma” you get the little punk an ice pack.  Its only fair.

You’re a good guy Ronald Wills.  Your tough but fair beating of a one year old baby, shows the world how to handle little punks like that.  Move over Dr. Phil!

Via Crime Beat

Every business in the world is on Twitter these days, and 90% of them just spam out links or at best have some schmuck behind the profile fartting out gems like:  ”Sure am glad I brought my [insert product] with me today!  You should get one too!”, ”Wow, [insert product] is so awesome.  Send us a photo of yours” or “How many of [insert product] do you like I can get in up my ass?  I bet 5.”  so in that respect we love seeing the Twitter Voice of Pi, the famed Loop pizza slinger, being more than just a spam robot!  ..in fact, they are straight up telling people to go the f*ck away via Twitter!

From the blog of St. Louis Twitter user @GaneshaXi:

A fellow St. Louisan vegan was commenting on the fact that there’s a pizza place in St. Louis that offers vegan cheese. Cool stuff! I get pretty excited about companies that consider the fact that some people have different dietary needs than others. I also like to pass on the good news to my friends. Not only are there vegans hungry for pizza, but also lactose intolerant people, or even people just looking to cut out some dietary fat. So I check the company’s profile, and I see [this in their twitter profile "RFT's Best Pizza in St. Louis.  Barack Obama's Favorite Pizza."]

First off, we don’t have a single issue with Pi boasting that the freaking President of the United States loves their pizza.  Shit, wouldn’t you?  But whatever each to his own, because this sit about as well as vegan cheese does with me for “GaneshaXi,” so she fired off this forked-tounged compliment via Twitter:

GaneshaXi: @veganwrites Awesome! Too bad they have to throw in the presidential “plug.” @pistl riding Obama’s coattails = fail.

Which in turn got this from the awakened Pi-master:

PiSTL: @GaneshaXi thais for the encouragement! @pistl fans: @GaneshaXi says we’ll fail cuz obama eats pi.  she should stay in 2Life. No pie there.

Ok, let me break this one down for you.  ”2Life” means the game SecondLife which is like a virtual world that GaneshaXi apparently is into…oh and “cuz” is short for “because”

Well after that this twitter slap fight was kicked in to high gear with these replies:

GaneshaXi: @pistl You have a terrible attitude with your potential customers. Perhaps you should check out Second Life and learn people skills.

GaneshaXi: Wow, you’d think for a restaurant looking for customers, @pistl would be much less degrading via Twitter.

To which @pistl shot back (after a few other tweets):

PiSTL: @GaneshaXi please stay way from my restaurant. Your comments wishing failure were destructive and irresponsible. Look in the mirror.

Lets pause for a moment here.  I hate it when “customers” pull this move in general.  A customer walks in and says something to the effect of “Your store sucks” and then the owner says something to the effect of “Go f*ck yourself.” which makes the customer say something like “Why I never!  How could you talk to a customer like this!  You are a horrible business person!”  …are they really?  I mean, you just told them they sucked.  What are they supposed to do?  Sure they could say  ”How can we make it better for you?” but one, they don’t have to and two, most people that walk in and say stuff like that, aren’t really much of a customer for them anyway.

Oh the other hand however, I think ole Pi might need to chill a bit.  I don’t think anything said we “destructive” or “irresponsible”.  All she did was voice an opinion, over Twitter no less.  Not exactly forming a picket line.

Basically, you both need to chill.  …but on a separate issue, we do love seeing a company put itself out there!

…also, Pi is expensive.  Good.  But expensive.

Oh, and something worth noting is that, as of the time of this writing, @pistl had dropped the Obama comment from their Twitter profile.