Early Sunday morning a drunk driving a Mustang hit a St. Louis PD car, drove past the officer that was trying to stop him and then proceeded east on to the Poplar Street Bridge where it swerved, hitting two pedestrians, sending one to the hospital and knocking the other off the bridge to his death. Horrible way to die.

We would avoid any and all walking on the Poplar Street Bridge, especially going east-bound but that’s just us. There’s nothing over there, but Illinois! No joke. If you keep walking you’d eventually hit a Chili’s, but there isn’t a Fajita Trio big enough to get me to walk that far and dodge that many drunken illegal Mexicans.

Oh, did we mention that the guy in the Mustang was an illegal mexican?

He was.

The driver of the Mustang was then stopped on Route 3 in East St. Louis. Police say the driver and his passenger appeared to be intoxicated. Neither person could speak English, so an interpreter was called in.

The driver, 26 year old Brandon Oggun Garcia, admitted to police he was in the United States illegally. His passenger is identified as 31-year old Alfredo Amelco Arand.

Nicely done on keeping a low profile after sneaking in the country. Garcia might not be aware of this, but drunkenness and fast cars don’t mix…oh wait! Is that way Mexicans are always slowly riding around on donkeys?! Well, we don’t have a lot of donkeys around these parts, but since you’re already headed to Illinois, this might be a great way to recycle the old strippers.

Note that the bridge was closed for a short time on Sunday to clean up the accident, and to allow Mayor Slay to double check the measurements to make sure the murder was over the line in to Illinois, maybe redraw a few chalk outlines. It will be open by Monday’s rush hour.

via KMOX

Another day in St. Louis…

A man runs his car in to a parked car, through a fence and in to the side of a family’s home Tuesday night. It’s not really his fault though, the driver had been shot a few times right before all of that:

A car that smashed into a north St. Louis home late Tuesday was being driven by a man who suffering from gunshot wounds, police say.

The driver, 37, had been shot in the arm and back several times. He was driving south on Rauschenbach Avenue about 11:15 p.m. Tuesday  near St. Louis Place Park.

The families home is now unlivable for the time being so the Red Cross pitched in to take care of the two parents and two, whoops, two more…four kids…oh and looks like an uncle in there too…ok, four kids and three…who are they?! Ok, five adults and the four kids…jesus, who the hell is that guy?!…six adults and…no you can’t bring a friend…you know what? Whatever. Four children and seven adults.

We hope the family took their loose house bricks with them, because they won’t be there when they get back. (Yup, we steal bricks here too.)

via STLToday

Hey guess what 2010, your not really all that advanced and progressive as Twitter would have you believe. Black guys are still getting pulled over at an alarmingly higher rate.

The first report, issued in 2001, said black motorists in Missouri were 30 percent more likely than whites to be pulled over, when considering total populations of driving-age residents by race. For 2009, the year that Koster reported upon today, blacks were 62 percent more likely than whites to be stopped.

[Emphasis added.] This seems like something we should be shocked about, but I just can’t muster the surprise. Hell the other day I leaned out of my car and fired an automatic weapon at the side of a children’s hospital and I only got pulled over later on because the cops had found all those bullets I “dropped”. My experience was in stark contrast to that of the “Ladue Black Guy” Jerry who after being pulled over every day last year when he left his house for work opted for “voluntary parole” just so he could check in every morning and save some commute time.

That last part was a joke. It wasn’t everyday, the Ladue cops don’t work on Sundays.

Hispanics are even less likely than whites to be stopped, according to that formula, although Hispanics were twice as likely as whites to be searched — a rate even higher than the rate of police searches of black motorists they stop.

So if the cops do make time in their busy pulling over black dudes with the occasional white guy for cover schedule, they might grab a hispanic guy. …but watch out, if they do get you, its gonna count. They’re gloving up for you buddy.

Turning to the section on those with Middle Eastern decent, it was just most blank page that said, “We don’t care about terrorists getting pulled over.” with a vulgar little drawing.

Seemed like an odd choice.

via STLToday

Yesterday in Alton, IL a three-year old body walked over to an open second story window with no screen and fell out on to a concrete slab below.

A three-year-old boy had to be rushed to the hospital Tuesday afternoon after falling from the second-story window of his family’s apartment.

According to Captain Williams of the Alton Fire Department, the incident happened at 1:40 p.m. at an apartment complex in the 300 block of Mitchell Street

He is still listed in critical condition, but initial cognitive tests are proving that the toddler still has a chance to be one of the smarter Illinois to Missouri commuters. Meaning he will be able to drive at a decent and steady speed while keeping his rusted out car in only the one lane instead of constantly weaving in to other lanes or tapping his breaks the whole time we have to follow him to the point where you swear he is driving all the way to our house with his ugly pale blue Land  of Lincoln license plate mocking you with its ugliness!

via KSDK

Good news for those of us over the age of 21!  You can drink, and you are still free to text message your friends while driving and potentially threaten the lives of everyone else on the road around you!

Motorists 21 or younger in Missouri will be prohibited from text messaging while driving starting on Friday, when a new law takes effect. The state will join 22 others in having some sort of prohibition on texting from behind the wheel.

Most states have made laws like this apply to all ages, not just under 21, but not Missouri!  We know that everyone here over 21 is a perfectly intelligent person that would never do anything to hurt anyone or do anything to endanger the lives of others.  I feel sorry for states like Illinois that have a bunch of adults they can’t trust so they had to outlaw it for everyone.

via STLToday.com