The plans for the new Arch grounds are starting to take shape by the releasing of design photos, and explanations about how the new work will change the downtown layout. NextSTL has it covered:

Not a single local media story, not KSDK, not St. Louis Public Radio, not the Post-Dispatch, not the Beacon, no one included the detail that if the presented plan comes to fruition that Pine Street will no longer connect the city with the Arch grounds. [...] With Pine Street gone, visitors will find yet another dead end as they attempt to navigate their way to the Arch. The distance between accessible crossings (Washington Avenue to Chestnut Street) will reach more than 1,500 feet.

Good point. That’s definitely something that should be discussed more, and we would have totally put some crazy hard-core thought in to that except the picture of the Arch grounds design (above) caught our attention. What was it about this design that reminded of something? …it just has a certain feel to it. A work of art by chance? No, well maybe. It just seems so inviting yet occasionally unattainable, so familiar yet mysterious. Like it would be awesome to visit, and we’d totally love to play here longer but we gotta bust and run any second now…well we’ve been drinking so maybe I can stay a little longer lets just take it slow. Ah of course!

The Arch grounds are a big ole vagina.

…but there’s still a little bit we can’t seem to place…

…and there you go! Duh.

via NextSTL

So Mayor Slay’s staff walk in to a room in the Edward Jones Dome with a few people from the Occupy St. Louis movement currently inhabiting downtown…

Stop us if you’ve heard this one.

The initial debate was between the Mayor’s Chief of Staff Jeff Rainford, and a guy that only went by “Chuck”…naturally.

“We ask that you condemn the police violence in Oakland and retract any threats or insinuations of violence against us and the accusation that we are inciting violence,” Chuck said.

Rainford responded: “I don’t know where you read in the newspaper, or what newspaper or tv station said that I was threatening violence.  I wasn’t.  It’s very easy.  I condemn the violence in Oakland.  I condemn violence here.  I condemn violence everywhere.”

Chuck starts out with some fire, but it was quickly put out by the Rainford. But what, you may ask, were the rest of Chuck’s occupy buddies doing?

Residents of the tent community had voted earlier in the day not to attend the meeting, but a few came wearing dollar bills taped around their mouths and refusing to speak.

We hear one guy had a $20 over his mouth at first but then noticed it looked bad after his friend emailed his recent iPhone photo he took while occupying the Galleria earlier in the day, so he called home and had his mom swing by and drop off some singles. It wasn’t a quick drive from Ladue, but she loves her “little free spirit”!

Ok, enough of this chit-chat! Lets get to those demands! The Mayor’s office would like the Occupiers to leave Keiner Plaza since there are events coming up that need that space, various health concerns and City Hall is down wind. The Occupiers would like…

 …the city withdraw its funds from big banks, and a request for another building or park to occupy instead of Kiener Plaza.

Oh is that all? Anyone need a sandwich while we’re at it? Maybe some little milk cartons? …ok the building thing isn’t that big of a deal we guess, with all the spare ones we seem to have downtown these days.

Rainford refused the idea of moving city funds out of big banks, saying the banks provide revenue to the city and fund services downtown.   He also refused to provide a building for the protestors to occupy.

Shocking.

But the mayor’s office did suggest creating a “speaker’s corner” downtown, where the protestors could maintain a presence and get their message out.

Jokes aside, that seems fair. But it’s certainly not as cool to have a sanctioned protesting area rather than taking over an area downtown with nothing but your burning desire for social and economical reformation! In fact, they may have to change the name from “Occupy St. Louis” to “Don’t Mind Us. We’ll Just Be Over Here, Out of the Way St. Louis”

via KMOX

Last week we took some shots at the local cabbies for “whining” about a convention using other transportation rather than cabs.

“What do you mean non-cab drivers have figured out how to get their own cars?! Oh no! Someone, quick, talk to the press and make sure they photograph you in the creepiest way possible!”

As with every post we do, it was a joke and all the real details are gleaned form the source material, which in this case was KMOX. In fact, we also took a shot at KMOX for posting the creepiest possible photo of the cab driver they interviewed, but according to the cab drivers that sent us emails over the weekend, we also could have taken a few shots at KMOX for leaving out a few details that we weren’t aware of. So because we’re nice, we wanted to post a couple of the responses we got so that everyone gets a fair shake at defending themselves against a joke.

Cab Driver #1:

If you do have a problem getting a cab then leave me a message and I will be more then willing to give you some phone number to cab drivers that will be more then willing to come and pick you up when you need a cab.. Now as for as this convention if the mayor slay or the st louis city police dont want to inforce [sic] the laws on the books already it might be time for st louis to get a new mayor. and if the metropolitan st louis taxicab commission dont want to inforce [sic] the laws on the books about courtesy car within st louis city; Then we need to get a new director at the commission.

Ok, the intro joke in the post where we complained about how hard it is to get a cab in this town was a singular person’s experience, and a joke. Just to be 100% clear: We won’t be calling you random cab guy, just so you can give us another number to call. That seems weird and inefficient. If you’re lonely enough to want us to call you so that you can give us publicly available numbers then just say you’re lonely and we won’t call you for that reason instead.

So apparently there are some ordinances that make conventions use cabs. Ok, that’s a good detail even though it sounds like one of those little nagging rules that keep more conventions from taking place downtown.

Cab Driver #2:

Frist [sic] and formost please note the cab that this is affectting [sic] are the downtown cabs that you don’t even call when you need a ride you only call one of the 3 major cab company that why it take forever to get a cab. If you would call one of the smaller cab company you would get a cab. Now for this convention it is aganst [sic] the law for these car to park where ever they want too in no parking zone, also if one of the so call courtesy car have an acctident [sic] then the fuck because the don’t have the right ins. to use there car as a car for hire. Next in the city of StLouis [sic] and StLouis co. you must get a premit [sic] to put on a courtesy car which this group did not get. The church og god is breaking all the laws and no one is doing anything about it. If we did it we would get a ticket for parking in a no parking zone or a 500.00 fine fron the city for not having the right permit.

Again, this guy takes issue with the intro joke/complaint about cab availability. Let it go guys. If people don’t know the inside track of who to call to get a ride, it doesn’t matter. If you can’t get a cab, you can’t get a cab. You shouldn’t have to know which cab drivers from which companies to get a freaking ride. Maybe the problem isn’t you, but it’s a problem.

Parking illegally is a good defense, and the convention not getting a permit are legit points, but we have no way of verifying the claims of the courtesy cars not having the required insurance.

Good points cab drivers! We’d still think about getting a less creepy spokesman, not just going to KMOX in the future, and maybe try to innovate along with the complaining about ordinances and permits not be filed, but still point taken and rebuttal posted. Thanks for writing in.

Friday night, 62 cars were broken into downtown, most of them just south of Busch Stadium. It’s time like these when we wish the police would tell us everything’s going to be ok and that not to worry, they’ve got things under control. We don’t live in a town where you can’t even go to a ballgame without thinking about what inning you should leave to go get your car rather than thinking about what inning you have to leave before your deluxe nachos make a reappearance south of the border, do we?

Of course we do.

Police Captain Mike Caruso tells KMOX it’s time for parking lot owners to watch their lots even after they’ve taken a driver’s money.

And, if you’re not parking on a lot, Captain Caruso recommends leaving nothing in sight inside a car, locking the car, parking in lighted areas and never hesitating to call 9-1-1 when someone suspicious is loitering near a car.

“it’s time for parking lot owners to watching their lots”? When the hell was it not their time to do that? Sure no one has any assumption of security on those lots where you have to fold up your five dollars (or…ahem…your two dollars folded over a bunch of times because how would they know?!) and put it in the corresponding parking space slot, but the lots for $10 and up with the attendant in the little booth? Those should give you peace of mind…but they don’t.

Police are stepping up patrols.  One undercover car theft unit operating Saturday night made its first arrest shortly before 5.pm.

Hey alright! Got one! Why didn’t anyone tell the police that people steal cars downtown? If they would have known, they would have started trying harder earlier! Like how when we finally found out that girls rarely look up when using a public restroom we had already gotten too big for the air vent…we could still fit in there, but we couldn’t really move our arms so that kinda defeats the purpose.

via KMOX

The “Partnership for Downtown St. Louis” released numbers that say the population of downtown St. Louis grew 3% in the last six months.

Downtown residents grew from 11,997 as of Dec. 31 to 12,409 at the end of June, according to the report.

The survey includes information on all housing within the 2.95-square-mile downtown area, bounded roughly by Chouteau on the south, Cass Avenue on the north, the Mississippi River to the east and Jefferson Avenue to the west.

The growth at mid-year followed a 6 percent increase in 2008 from 2007. About 5,000 residents have moved downtown since 2000, according to the organizations.

Also of note is that they started counting homeless people…and benches.  Not sure if that caused the increase.  Probably not.  Eh, maybe.

via St. Louis Business Journal

You go in and site down on at the disgusting Eat-Rite counter in Downtown St. Louis and you amazingly survive the food, only to have someone shoot you when you leave.

Police say the woman, 30, got into an argument with a man inside The Eat-Rite Diner at Chouteau Avenue and 7th Street around 5:30 a.m. Sunday. Police say the man left, but returned a short time later with a gun and shot the woman as she stood outside the restaurant.

At least its a quicker way to go then to have your body give up on trying to digest one of their hotdogs marinated in dishwater and cooked up by guy that looks like he used to be a mad scientist’s sidekick.

Seriously though, killing a broad in the street like that is some cold shit.  Here’s hoping they find this douche.  I’m sure it won’t take long with this description:

He is described as a black man age 22 to 24, 6 feet tall, 180 pounds with shoulder length dreadlocks.

Hmm, good luck with that.  They didn’t mention rippling muscles or eyes so penetrating that they make women fall to their knees and weep, so at least its pretty clear that I didn’t do it.

Source: KSDK.com