“Woman Startled by Person Outside Her Window“

Real headline from KMOV. While we keep looking for “Woman Burns Hand on Hot Plate After Waiter Told Her It Was Hot” you check out Mr. Block Quote:

Belleville Police were called to the 500 block of North 40^th Street just after 8 a.m.   The resident told police she was sitting in her living room when she heard a noise coming from her bedroom.

When she went to investigate she found the window open and a person standing just outside.

The woman told police the person fled when she screamed.

Ok, that’s a little creepy with a man peaking in to an empty room. What else happened? Have a knife? Gun? Wang hanging out?

No further details on the matter were released.

…

So nothing else? She saw a guy by her window and called the cops… There have been a bank robbery every day for a month it seems like and yet this is news? It’s like the Wild West but with more reports of pervy teachers and preists than I remember reading about in history books these days and KMOV is going with “Woman Startled by Person Outside Her Window”?

Maybe this is a story, but it would have to have been Steve Buscemi outside the window. Then it’s news and also really really scary…and then pretty awesome actually.

via KMOV

Break-ups. We’ve all been there. At first you’re so pissed off! You just want to go knock over trash cans and kick puppies. I mean, if you just saw her one more time, you’d…well you don’t know what you’d do…but it would be something good, like telling her about that time you rubbed one out in her hand lotion…and mayonnaise…and shampoo bottle…and sock drawer.

In a few days you calm down though and decide to just get those feelings out with a note with a cow’s tongue attached. You know, nothing too crazy.

An eastern Missouri woman has admitted that she sent threatening letters that included a cow tongue and opossum head to her girlfriend’s new love interest.

Thirty-nine-year-old Jessica Bradshaw of Troy pleaded guilty Tuesday in federal court in St. Louis to three counts of mailing threatening communications.

Trenton, Ill., Detective Chris Joellenbeck says Bradshaw mailed the threatening letters to her ex-girlfriend’s new girlfriend, who lives in Trenton.

First time we get a story on this site in over 1 and a half years featuring three lesbians and some tongue and its not even remotely hot. Figured.

Here’s a tip from Punching Kitty: If you want to creep someone out, don’t send a body part, send this creepy laughing doll (video below).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO2OocOVcJo

via KPLR and our tipster who can slip us some tongue anytime.

What’s better than going to see your favorite girl-movie about non-scary flavors of vampires and werewolves at midnight?  Going there and falling in love…and then smelling her hair…and following her to her house…and stealing things out of her car.  Awww love.

New Moon midnight showing – m4w – 27 (Saint Louis, MO)

I sat behind you at the midnight showing of New Moon the other night. Me: 6 foot, dark hair, long nails, mysterious. You: straight long blond hair, full ruby lips, you were wearing black cargo pants and a twilight hoodie. As your hair draped down behind your sear i just had to hold it and smell it deeply(pantene.great choice). I don’t remember much of the money but I will awlays remember the smell and texture of your hair. The way you sound when you whisper and laugh. After the movie I followed you and your friends to Denny’s. I waited outside in my car so I could watch you eat and smile. I followed you home and made sure you got there safely. I noticed you left your car unlocked so I went to have a look into your life. I can tell by looking in your car that we have a lot in common. If you want your dash ornaments back you will have to meet me and we can have a great time getting to know each other. “grin”

Although I’m happy he  left out the part about his masturbating back in his mom’s basement with Pantene spread on his chest and holding your dash accouterments, but that doesn’t mean the mental picture didn’t show up.

If you are the blonde girl wearing cargo pants described above, change your locks and buy a gun.  Unless you are in to tall, dark mysterious guys with long fingernails…and that are probably required by law to notify all new neighbors of his past transgressions, then go for it. Hell you won’t even have to call him, he’s standing outside your bedroom window right now!

Welcome to the new greatest thing on the internet…and it has to do with cats, so we can get away with posting it!

Our favorite shots…