It’s Halloween, so here’s a few costume ideas from your buddy Punching Kitty:

Zombie Colby Rasmus

It’s perfect! Get yourself a Toronto jersey, a crazy sense of entitlement and a try to pretend you don’t have a personality. Walk around saying stuff like “Yeah, I want brains, but I’m  not really working on anything to get them. Don’t want to over think it. Plus my dad’s been viewing to tape and he thinks he knows where I can find some.”

A Football

It won’t scare anyone at your party, but run in to a Rams player while you’re out and he’ll run from you like crazy. Keep a stopwatch handy to give them an update on their updated 40 time.

A Knockout King

Dress like your a bad ass street youth and then just randomly punch people at the party. It will be a fun test to see who’s a flincher and if the STLPD can hunt you down before the end of the night.

Any of these are great, so pick one and be awesome and easily win your office costume contest over Jerry in accounting who will definitely show up as a “Rally Squirrel” which is totally original and not at all the same as his usual “unfortunate looking person in a halloween costume” costume.

St. Louis, we love you, but damn there sure is a large portion of us that knows how to hop on some little thing, and while interesting or humorous initially, beat on it and make it to something so dumb you want to smash your head against the ground to make enough goo leak out your ear so that you now think the overplayed stupid thing is awesome and interesting once again…and you’ll find cut off camo shorts totally awesome and wearable for several occasions.

Ok, never mind. We actually mean: Go rally squirrel! **

[Johnnie Brocks Dungeon] is selling a fox costume that looks just like a squirrel, and found animal head-dresses that could be part of a squirrel costume.

They hope to get more squirrels in soon.

Well they won’t be getting any more “squirrels”, but they might be getting more of the “Foxy Roxy” costume that they are saying looks like a squirrel and trying to pass off to people. All that’s different (reference image) is really the tail a little bit, the ears aren’t very squirrelly, and the fact that it’s called freaking “Foxy Roxy”…but it’s nothing that can’t be solved with a sharpie and a steady stream of customers so desperate to be the trendy slutty girl at the party that you could give her a frog costume and as long her tits are visible and the ass cheeks were cut out, she’d take it and try her best to echo your “frogs are really just green squirrels” argument to everyone that would listen.

“After the last game in St. Louis where it ran across the plate in front of Skip, that morning, I’m usually one of the first ones in the building and the first call of the day was ‘do you guys have a rally squirrel costume?’ I said you know, we do have a couple of squirrels.

No you don’t. You have Foxy Roxy.

And then a couple of minutes later, an employee said somebody’s looking for a squirrel and I said okay, this is going to be something hot,” said General Manager Nancho Rodriguez.

…and then not hot by the time Halloween rolls around because something else will happen like Steve Jobs costumes or maybe they can kill the Crocodile Hunter again since that one seems to be still top of mind for some people each year. Look, this would be different if these were guys costumes since we have more of the onus on us to actually “be” something. Girls can be whatever as long as it’s short and tight.

Girl: “Oh hey, guess what I am! It’s totally topical and…”

Guy (or rough and tumble lesbian): “Don’t care. Drink this.”

Spare us the “squirrel” costumes and go as something timeless like sexy nurse, sexy army chick, sexy children’s movie/book character, or slut. Let all the guys that really want to be super way awesome come to the party as a rally squirrel, something that’s supposed to be mildly offensive (Oh you’re a “one night stand”?! Classic. We’ve never seen that twice a year!), or the Crow.

For the record, all shops do have turtle costumes…like actual turtle costumes (read: not foxes), if you want to be the equally famous Torty Craig.

via KSDK

** [Editor's Note: Non-sports folks, the "rally squirrel" is the little squirrel that ran across the plate at the Cardinal game that was funny at the time, and the Cardinals won so every one freaked out about it.]

We gotta say St. Louis, we didn’t see many interesting costumes running around last Halloween. Sure there were the staples of Sexy Cat, Sexy Nurse, Sexy Bus Driver, Sexy Lunch Lady, Heath Ledger Joker… It’s not that we don’t like the “sexy” costumes…we love them! Keep it up ladies, you actually did pretty damn well last year. You keep on smushing up your boobs in to that nurse outfit, and us guys will keep drinking to help make the second teir ladies look first-string by 2am. The fellas however, need help. There is only so much Captain Jack Sparrow we can take every year. We did notice a guy dressed as a car jacker on Washington last year. What a great costume with social commentary undertones we thought! One long walk later had our feelings confirmed, St. Louis, you need help and we’re just the site to do the helping!

1. Zombie Tony LaRussa

“Need veteran brains!”

“Need to drive to California and think about direction of zombie team.”

…no Zombie Tony, this year’s Cardinal team weren’t technically zombies last year, but we do understand your confusion.

2. Larry Rice

This one is pretty easy: Throw a suit on your back, a dead animal on your head and go help a homeless guy…and then let the homeless guy go in downtown St. Louis and watch him with a smile as he breaks in to 4 cars.

3. Dan McLaughlin

This one is the scariest of them all! Don this mask, double-fist the drinks all night and then tell everyone how you’re “fine”. Don’t let people question your sobriety! Don’t they know who you are?! Ask them if they do…angrily!

(Oh yes sir, this is for real! Click on the preview below to get a full sized image suitable for printing at your office right now, cutting out with those scissors in your desk drawer and showing your buddies…and going home, throwing on a polos shirt and using this for your costume tonight. Do it! Do it! Do it!)

There you go. Three solid ideas for awesome Halloween costumes that will no doubt be a hit at any St. Louis party this weekend.

Were we wrong about last year’s crop? Do you have a great idea this year or, better yet, are you doing one of our awesome suggestions? We need those photos!

Halloween is only a few days away and if you are like most people, not only do you not have a costume yet, but I just reminded you of that and you went “Crap!” and now everyone around you at work thinks you screwed something important up or got fired via email and really want to ask you “What?” but are worried that you might drag them in to the problem if they do.

Anyway its cool duderson!  We have some ideas!

First off we should say that these ideas are really just for the fellas.  Why?  Because girls have it easy on Halloween!  You’re choices this year, as they are every year, are as follows:

1. Sexy Kitty (Give yourself  black eye and be a punched kitty!)

2. Sexy Superhero

3. Sexy Playboy Bunny

4. Sexy Devil

5. Sexy School girl

That’s settled.  Now for the guys:

1. Dave Duncan

This is an easy one.  Get a grey wig  or that grey hair spray, throw on a jersey (bonus points if you actually have a Duncan jersey) and then bitch all night about how everyone hates you and your son just because he can’t hit a ball if his life depended on it.  Also, if you see a guy dressed as Anthony Reyes, kick him in the balls.

2.  Jack Buck’s House

Wear all black, put soot on your face and hold the burn edge of an old baseball card all night.

3.  The Rams

Just don’t show up to the party.

4. John Abule

Any ole zombie costume will do just fine for this.

5. Mayor Slay

Spend tons of money to make sure you win the costume contest even though the people  you are running against have no chance anyway, and then when you when, take the costume off and don’t really do much until the next costume.

So there you go, super easy costumes with a St. Louis vibe!

Be sure to send in photos of you in these or any other costume when you are out this halloween, and that goes double for the ladies.  In fact, send photos of you in your sexy kitty costume and we’ll pick the best one to be in our header for a while!

You guys: “What a great idea you just had.”

Me: “Thanks, I know.”