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cop

Crime

Sheriff Arrested on Suspicion of Being a Meth Dealer


Posted by The Editor on 05 Apr 2011 /
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“Freaking cops! Stealing your stash and then they don’t report it! They just take it themselves and sell it out! Punks they just as bad as the people they bustin’!” Oh fictitious bitter criminal,  you’re assumptions that every cop is dirty amuse us…but even a drug-addled, retarded clock is right twice a day.

A southeast Missouri sheriff is now charged with distribution of methamphetamine.

Carter County Sheriff Tommy Adams was arrested Saturday. Carter County prosecutor Rocky Kingree filed formal charges Monday. Adams, who is 31, is jailed on $250,000 cash-only bond. He does not yet have an attorney.

You’re first clue that this guy was just an f*ck-up waiting to happen is that he calls himself Tommy, Sheriff Tommy, which, unless a six year old that defends the neighborhood with the slingshot hanging out of his back pocket is your Sheriff, is a little weird.

What is the deal with the southeastern police these days? Between Tommy the meth-dealing Sheriff and the trigger happy Officer Barks from yesterday, you really start the get the picture that southern Missouri is just a bunch of weird hicks and that have gone crazy from their steady appetites for squirrel meat, meth, and immediate family sexual relations. If their cops are this crazy, what does that say for the rest of them. These are the people that should be upholding the law for the other nut-cases, the thin line between civilized order and um…Arkansas! Instead? Meth dealing and chihuahua shooting.

States really do represent the their average inhabitant. Take Missouri’s “bottom” for instance: You might think it’s ok from a distance, but get a little closer and you’ll find out it stinks, far hairier than most like and weird crap comes of out if. California’s, however, is nicely shaped, gets plenty of sun and the only real problem is that a bunch of Mexican’s have touched it.

via KMOX


Crime

Kid in Jail for Pretending to be Cop, Now Just Pretending His Butt Doesn’t Hurt


Posted by The Editor on 04 Nov 2010 /
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Some silly kid in Highland, Illinois apparently never learned the only acceptable way to pretend to be a police officer: Be a hot girl on Halloween or a stripper any other time of the year. Pulling people over in your Ford Explorer isn’t on that list.

Authorities said received to separate complaints on Oct. 14 related to someone possibly impersonating a police officer.

In both incidents a white male in a Maroon Ford Explorer that was equipped with a dash mounted strobe light pulled someone over in the 14,000 block of Trestle road in Highland, Illinois. In both incidents the suspect identified himself verbally as a “cop” and warned one driver to slow down, while warning a second driver for erratic driving.

What’s the thrill here? Is pulling over someone and telling them that they are driving too fast or erratically while they look back at you with a confused “Why is this ginger kid telling me this?” look on their face really that much of a rush? Did he frisk anyone? Nope. Shoot at stuff? Nope. Beat up a minority without fear of conviction? Nope. Sounds like the only cop stuff he did was the boring parts. Did he go home a fill out “paperwork” after his make believe time too?

Don’t waste your time asking why too much though. He’s a ginger and thus has no soul. The real question is, why the hell anyone would pull over to a maroon Ford Explorer rocking a dashboard strobe light? That’s just asking to raped, shanked, or raped with a shank.

via KMOV


Crime

Fredericktown Police Captain Likes Little Boys, Little Boys Not Big Fans of Him


Posted by The Editor on 08 Jan 2010 /
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A Fredericktown, MO police captain and local Boy Scoutmaster has been busted for being…you’ll never guess…a sexual predator! Three cheers for stereotypes!

Kenneth Tomlinson II, 42, a police captain in Fredericktown and Boy Scout leader, has admitted having sex with young boys and destroying videotapes he made of the sex, court records show.

After 16 counts of sodomy involving two boys, ages 12 and 14, Tomlinson should be ready for a little sodomy of his own, but first the worst punishment of all…

He was held in lieu of a $100,000 cash-only bond, and has been stripped of his membership in the Scouts.

Oh snap!

“No! Don’t kick me out of Scouts!” former scoutmaster Tomlinson pleaded, “What about the winter jamboree?!  The kids are sure to freeze to death without my famous ‘sit on my lap and let me warm you from the inside’ trick!”

No dice sicko!  Your Assistant Scoutmaster is going to have to do that this year.

Well, until he gets caught.  Then it will be up to the parents to molest their own kids until a new Scoutmaster can be found.

via STLToday


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