“Hey, we know we suck so bad it hurts, but what if we let you rename our mascot! That help at all? …ok, well we’ve already printed the flyers so we’re doing this thing anyway.” – The St. Louis Rams

After 1,700 submissions the final round of voting has begun with your choices being (hold on to your hat now): Archie, Rammer, Rampage, Ramsey, and Rush.

Somewhere in St. Louis, Fredbird is shaking his head in disgust. You have until Friday the 23rd to go to StLouisRams.com had pick the shiniest turd in that list.

Here, because we know you want to know, 5 better suggestions for the Rams mascot:

5. “Sacked”

4. “Sheep with horns”

3. “Sexual Harassment Doll” – Point out on the doll where the other team touched you.

2. “The Safest Uniform for Sam Bradford”

1. “Power Bottom”

Midtown restaurant The Fountain on Locust has been nominated and is now a finalist for the America’s Best Restroom contest being put on by the Cintas Corporation, who makes crappers, but probably doesn’t like people calling them “crappers”.

What’s so special about The Fountain on Locust?

The Fountain on Locust’s bathroom was picked because of its hand-painted murals, ornate fixtures and designer mirrors.

You can vote online for the final round at www.bestrestroom.com, and then go poop in your now obviously lame bathroom.

via KMOV

The scene: Yesterday around 4pm, Twitter

The official Pearl Jam Twitter account spits out a seemingly innocuous “Twitter Contest” tweet.

“Hmm, whatever.” You thought.  ”Its probably in New York, or LA…its freakin’ always in one of those two places.  Screw it, I’ll click on the picture anyway, might be some hot chick (or dude) in it.”

Vintage Vinyl!  Whaaaaaaa?!

Yup. Pearl Jam tossed a little awesome St. Louis’ way.   Anyone know who won?  We’ve love to hear from them!

Halloween is only a few days away and if you are like most people, not only do you not have a costume yet, but I just reminded you of that and you went “Crap!” and now everyone around you at work thinks you screwed something important up or got fired via email and really want to ask you “What?” but are worried that you might drag them in to the problem if they do.

Anyway its cool duderson!  We have some ideas!

First off we should say that these ideas are really just for the fellas.  Why?  Because girls have it easy on Halloween!  You’re choices this year, as they are every year, are as follows:

1. Sexy Kitty (Give yourself  black eye and be a punched kitty!)

2. Sexy Superhero

3. Sexy Playboy Bunny

4. Sexy Devil

5. Sexy School girl

That’s settled.  Now for the guys:

1. Dave Duncan

This is an easy one.  Get a grey wig  or that grey hair spray, throw on a jersey (bonus points if you actually have a Duncan jersey) and then bitch all night about how everyone hates you and your son just because he can’t hit a ball if his life depended on it.  Also, if you see a guy dressed as Anthony Reyes, kick him in the balls.

2.  Jack Buck’s House

Wear all black, put soot on your face and hold the burn edge of an old baseball card all night.

3.  The Rams

Just don’t show up to the party.

4. John Abule

Any ole zombie costume will do just fine for this.

5. Mayor Slay

Spend tons of money to make sure you win the costume contest even though the people  you are running against have no chance anyway, and then when you when, take the costume off and don’t really do much until the next costume.

So there you go, super easy costumes with a St. Louis vibe!

Be sure to send in photos of you in these or any other costume when you are out this halloween, and that goes double for the ladies.  In fact, send photos of you in your sexy kitty costume and we’ll pick the best one to be in our header for a while!

You guys: “What a great idea you just had.”

Me: “Thanks, I know.”