When we first talked about the mysterious death of celebrity, and ex-beer baron August Busch IV‘s girlfriend Adrienne Martin, the police initially focused the investigation towards a possible overdose after being found dead in a room in Busch’s mansion. Naturally, family and friends of Martin denied such claims with statements like…

“She was against drugs,” — Timothy Carlson, former boss

“Adrienne was always very anti-drug.” — Dr. Kevin Martin, ex-husband

We had this to say at the time:

The police are thinking overdose, [but] the family is poo-pooing on the overdose idea (but who’s family ever says to the press “Oh yeah. That was it! Totally overdose. My little darling loved her some nose-candy!”)

Well guess what was in the toxicology report! If you said cocaine, you’d be correct! Called it!

The 27-year-old woman found dead at the mansion of former Anheuser-Busch chief executive August Busch IV had cocaine and the painkiller oxycodone in her blood, according to a source close to the investigation and her ex-husband.

This was a no-brainer. Healthy 27-year-olds just don’t die quietly without any signs of trauma in a dark room by themselves. Something had to make this happen, and despite her family’s claim of some rare heart condition, the smart money was on drugs. …the question now is: Where did she get the drugs in question? It’s not like she was dating a long-time playboy rich of booze money that has a history or drug and alcohol abuse. Too bad, that would make it so much easier to make sense of all of this.

Busch could not be reached for comment.

His attorney, Arthur Margulis, said Saturday, “Having not actually seen the report, I have no comment at this time.”

What an oddly timed blockquote. We certainly weren’t inferring anything with our previous statement. Why else could she have been on drugs? Any idea mom?

Christine Trampler, Adrienne Martin’s mother, has said her daughter was having trouble sleeping in the months before her death.

Yeah, we hear cocaine is great for getting to sleep….right after doing the dishes, making enough sandwiches for an army, eating all the sandwiches and then being compelled to go to the east side at 2:15 pm on a Tuesday. So actually it works just like Ambien, just you do all that crazy stuff before you pass out instead of right after.

Things are getting interesting for August Busch IV, aka St. Louis’ Charlie Sheen.

via STLToday

“What do you know!” said one officer, “You know, you pull over hispanic after hispanic and you have to let them go because they weren’t doing anything wrong or that trailer full of lawn mowers and hedge clippers really did belong to them and then something like this happens.  It just really makes your day!”

Around 6:30 p.m. Sunday, the Phelps County Sheriff’s Department said a Peterbuilt tractor trailer was stopped for a traffic violation.

During the course of the traffic stop, deputies became suspicious because of conflicting information and called in a K-9 trained in the detection of illegal narcotics. When the K-9 alerted on the tractor portion of the vehicle a search was conducted and 130 pounds of cocaine were found hidden in different locations of the vehicle.

The conflicting information they are referring to was that one of the “mexicans” in the car said that they were originally from Chile which immediately made them suspicious since they were obviously mexicans and “Chili” totally sounded made up.

via Globe Democrat

You know that package with the baggie of cocaine you were expecting?  Well it was accidentally delivered to the Franklin County Assessor’s Office.

The Union Police Department was contacted Thursday afternoon after a mysterious powdery substance turned up at the Franklin County Assessor’s Office from a Pacific resident. The powdery substance turned out to be a controlled substance.

This story gets better, because apparently the Assessor isn’t exactly hip to the jive.  When he saw the white powder, he didn’t do the tv cop thing where they just stick their finger in there and then taste it. [Editor's Note: That's what she said!] No, he called in HAZMAT!

The Union Fire Department and a Hazmat team responded to secure the substance while the building was placed on lock down.

No no no no…not done yet.  This gets even better!  There was a return address!  On a package with cocaine in it.  The cops called them up and were all like ”Hey dude, you sent us a bag with white powder.  This pussy thought it was Antrax, but it was just cocaine.” and then the guy was like “Yeah, just cocaine.  Wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.” and then the cops were like “Ok, cool.” and hung up.

Brune said the resident who sent the envelope and “powdery substance” was contacted and explained to authorities that there was no implied threat. The person said the bag of drugs was hidden in the envelope without their knowledge.

At this point no charges have been filed because…and its the damnedest thing…they couldn’t find any of the cocaine after the HAZMAT team got in there.  When asked how this could have happened, the HAZMAT team released this statement:

Sowewentintheretohelpoutbutitturnsoutitwasjustcocaine. Butthere’snoneleftbecausewehadto…uh…uh…blowitup. Yeah.  Wehadtoblowitup. Wethoughtitwassomethingelse.  Itsgonenowthoughsothere’snopointinlookinginmycar.

via KSDK