Last week we broke the story that Cardinals pitching coach is a pussy, and now we get more information on the status of the amazing amounts of sand stuck in Dunc’s vagina from STLToday’s Joe Strauss.

A lot of this story is stuff we already knew and talked about in our last article, but Strauss does drop some new info like when Dave threw a hissy fit in the clubhouse after the Cardinals traded his son to the Boston Red Sox.

Dave Duncan reacted harshly upon learning of the trade the night of July 21. While reporters were shooed from the Minute Maid Park visiting clubhouse, Duncan lashed out at the team’s training staff in front of players for its handling of his son.

…recently Duncan took his “personal day” and then came back to the club and promptly left again, this time without asking anyone:

Duncan did not specify his reason for missing Tuesday’s series opener against the Houston Astros, nor did Mozeliak ask for one. However, it was the first time manager Tony La Russa could remember his chief lieutenant missing a game for a reason other than suspension since the two joined forces with the 1983 Chicago White Sox.

Also, Duncan continues to create verses to the “Everyone is super super mean to my son” song:

“Chris was not shown respect,” Duncan said. “The stuff he dealt with, the stuff he heard and was subjected to … I don’t know of any player in this town who went through what he experienced in the time I’ve been here.”

Um, Izzy on line 3 for you Dave.

Its long since been reported that even early on Dave was overly protective of his son, go as far as Tony LaRussa to warn reports to avoid Duncan Sr. because of something they wrote, which is completely ridiculous.  Nothing wrong with caring for your son and wanting to protect him, but that is some BS right there Dave.  Take for instance the times where ole Dave has thrown a few nasty comments towards guys like Jason Marquis or the comments he tossed at Chris Perez on his way out of town, if Dave was Mr. Perez would he have tracked that pitching coach down?!

So now the question is, will Dave Duncan be back next year with the Cardinals?

“I’m not ready to make that decision right now,” he said. “When I do, it will be a personal decision, not a professional one.”

Face it, he’s gone folks, and after all this we’re not exactly torn up about it.

It pains us, it really does, but as the evidence mounts, we have no choice but to stamp long-time Cardinals pitching coach with the dreaded “pussy” label and last we checked there’s still no crying in baseball.

Lets quickly recount the ways…

1. Its one thing to get pissed a little when people rag on your son, its another thing when your son is a major leaguer, and its a whole different thing when your son is a poor major leaguer and is still up here only because he’s clearly given leeway that other players that aren’t related to the pitching coach get.

2. To actually dream up conspiracies against your family with your only proof being publications writing poorly about player that is, well, poor is borderline insane.

3. So when you think the whole town has turned against your son, wouldn’t you appreciate a chance for him to prove himself in a new, non-conspiracy filled town?  Nope, Duncan whined about that too.

4. After that other town (Boston) decided, just like the Cardinals, that Chris Duncan had nothing left worth holding on to, you take a leave of absence from the Cardinals which everyone hopes will be where you come back and say “Whoops, sorry.  Guess you dude were right.”  …nope, you come back and continue to be a dick to the Post Dispatch anyway:

He repeated a recent stance to not talk for the time being with the Post-Dispatch. He added that his decision was because of some recent articles. In the past he has been frustrated by what he perceived as unfair coverage of his son, former Cardinals outfielder Chris Duncan.

“I will be at the ballpark tonight, and that’s really all I want to say,” he concluded. [via STLToday.com]

We love you Dunc, we really do.  You’ve worked magic here and we truly appreciate that.  However, you are being a bit of a douche about this whole thing and frankly if keep thinking this town is out to get you and your family and drive you out of St. Louis, you might find that eventually it will be true.

Chris Duncan is now being packed in bubble-wrap and being shipped to Boston, who then won’t even open the package, but instead ship him to their AAA club in Pawtucket.  Duncan’s tenure in St. Louis has been one the most rollercoaster-esque rides we have seen a player be on in a long time.  The fans cheered, the fans grumbled, then cheered, then grumbled again, then cheered again, then booed, then went freaking crazy and then he was gone.

Lets take a look back shall we?

Minor Leagues

Chris Duncan was drafted in the first round by the Cards, his father, Dave Duncan’s, then and current employer, in the 1999 amateur draft, making him the 46th pick overall.  He started off slow, having batting averages never getting above .271 and getting as low as .214 in rookie ball.  By 2004 he was in AA ball with the then affiliate Tennessee Smokies where he had his break out year having 16 home runs and a .289 average in 455 at bats, which got him to AAA Memphis next year.  Although he still had no real position, bouncing between first base and the outfield (because St. Louis has a pretty good first baseman), he did have solid power numbers.

Major Leagues

He got is first major league call up later in 2005, but he didn’t stick until 2006 where in 314 at bats he had a surprising 22 home runs with a nearly .300 average, the only real complaint being his defense.  2007 was another solid year, taking the Cardinals on his back when Pujols was out, and ended up with a .260 average, 70 RBIs and 21 HRs.  Sadly, it was all down hill from there.  In two injury shortened seasons, he amassed 11 HRs and 6o RBIs.

The Humping of the Trophy

When Duncan was a part of the 2006 World Champion Cardinal team he was really excited and…well…

The Riverfront Times even made a weekly photoshopping feature entitled “What’s Chris Duncan Dry-Humping This Week?“

Oh he also, stripped down and took a photo with his dad, the team’s pitching coach:

The Fans

Chris Duncan’s relationship with the fans rose with every towering home run, and shriveled with every dropped pop fly and breeze-creating strike out.

Recently, with his sub-par play and, although through no fault of his own, a shocking amount of playing time, the fans got particularly harsh.  Here is a sampling on Twitter:

The fan backlash rose to the point that Cardinals manager got involved, saying:

“I get so tired of the unfair treatment of Chris Duncan,” he said. “It makes me want to vomit. And you can quote me on that.”

The End

Chris, in the end you were traded to Boston for a player they were going to release anyway.  You came so close to fitting in here…if only the National League had the DH.  …also it would have helped if you had played a little better.

Update #4: Trade talk: MLBTradeRumors.com , STLToday.com, Boston Herald.com

Update #3: Trade back on!  In a tweet from Bernie Miklasz: “Cardinals trade C. Duncan for J Lugo …. Cardinals won’t be responsible for Lugo’s big salary;”  Viva El Birdos was right all along!  Nice scoop guys!

Update #2: The optioning of Duncan has been further confirmed by Joe Strauss over Twitter and by  insidestl.com

Update #1: Bernie Miklasz said on 101 ESPN at 11:49pm that Chris Duncan will be optioned to Memphis, saying all player moves are “internal” meaning Julio Lugo is not involved.

Original post follows:

Thats what we are hearing, with the initial report from Viva El Birdos, saying that Duncan was moved to the Red Sox for ousted shortstop Julio Lugo.

Lugo was set to be DFA’d (Designated for Assisgnment) which means they were just going to dump him, so they’ll take anything to make the deal somewhat more palatable like a bag of balls…or a hobbled DH that plays the outfield…

We are working to confirm.