So apparently St. Louis is a chess hot-bed. Who knew? Apparently its such an awesome chess scene that this crap happened…

A few weeks ago, [Hikaru Nakamura, the reigning national chess champion] made news simply by relocating. The 22-year-old announced he was moving from Seattle to St. Louis to be a part of the burgeoning chess scene and to be a spokesman for the swanky Chess Club and Scholastic Center of St. Louis.

It was the latest sign that St. Louis has become a national hub for the game.

I know right? Can you imagine that little ole St. Louis lured the Labron of chess to town.  This is amazing. Start lining up…um…chess…wait…I’ll come up with something…dammit…screw it. Start lining up chicks that are in to chess stars…which I know don’t exist, but this would have been funnier if I could have figured out a funny way to name chicks that are into chess players.

So if St. Louis is the big swinging rook of the chess world, then who would we think each of those stoic chess warriors would be played by in St. Louis? Lets run though them…

Pawn: This would be someone dispensable. Someone that people think is useful but really, if they get taken, eh who cares. Got it: Skip Schumaker.

Rook: The rook goes in straight lines, never veering from those lines, straight laced and tough as they come: Tom O’Neal. Never met the guy. Looks like a bad ass…like a thinner, more badass Commish with a little more hair. You do not want to mess with him.

Bishop: Sliding by with his fancy hat thinking he’s all awesome, but really he’s not that great. Although he can be useful in moderation, he’s way over-rated: Bryan Burwell.

Knight: Noble and awesome, but can’t walk a straight line. This one is easy…its the guy we saw in a pale blue suit strutting his stuff in L-shaped paths through the Loop at 9am Monday aided only by his towel-rod “cane”.

King: The King moves slowly, one careful step at a time. Important, but not really all that useful. This one’s a gimmie: Mayor Slay.

Queen: Queens move quickly and all over the place, helping out everyone, basically doing a seemingly endless amount of jobs and having a great time doing it because its not the King that has all the fun…its the Queen: The Vital Voice’s, and St. Louis’ resident “Style Guy” D Sly!

Any other suggestions?

Quote via STLToday

Today while picking up some dinner we caught a group of gentlemen gathered around a couple of chess boards battling with each other’s wit as opposed to the chill outside.

This is St. Louis.  A warm place where friends get together via intelligent activities.

Here’s a different photo from one of our readers that on his morning dog constitutional.

It is a pile of homeless person poop neatly coiled in front of an Organic food store downtown.  Its not clear from the photo if the intent was some sort of statement on organic food or this restaurant in particular, but we do know this:  This is also St. Louis.  A place were you can clearly see some that guy duked on the sidewalk.

Oh thats right ladies!  St. Louis might not have Fleet Week, but this year we have The 2009 U.S. Chess Championship!

Two dozen of the nation’s best chess players will be invited to participate in the 2009 U.S. Chess Championship, which will be held at the new Chess Club and Scholastic Center of Saint Louis. The tournament, which dates back to 1845, will take place from May 7 through 17, 2009 and will offer a purse of more than $130,000 in prize money.

If you’re not sure where to find the Chess Club and Scholastic Center of Saint Louis, its the building with the crazy long line of fine ass pussy rolling out of  it 24/7!  

The 24 invited players will include: 
the top 12 American players by rating, using the April rating supplement; 
the top two female players by rating, using the April rating supplement; 
the 2008 U.S. Junior Closed Champion; 
the 2008 U.S. Open Champion; 
the 2009 U.S. State Champion of Champions; 
a total of seven wild card spots, to be determined later. 

I’m sure this is unrelated, but I wanted to mention that this year’s U.S. Atomic Wedgie Giving Championship is taking place right down the street at about the same time.  I’m sure it will be fine.  If you’ve spent this much time playing chess, like those 24 players,  you must have learned to cut your underwear elastic to lessen the blow right?

For more information check out their site: www.saintlouischessclub.org