In what is no doubt the most anyone has ever talked about radio since…um…I don’t know…jesus radio metaphors are hard…probably because no one cares about radio. Except for the St. Louis sports media who still thinks its really really really really really important.

As first reported today on STLtoday.com, the team announced late this afternoon that it will return its radio broadcasts to KMOX next season after five years at KTRS, where they had been airing after a 51-year run at KMOX.

The Cardinals choose KMOX over the other options of staying at KTRS and moving to sports talk upstart WXOS, 101.1 FM saying “fan sentiment and feedback” was a major factor in the decision. Some would say they choose wrong, that AM radio, despite KMOX’s legendary signal, is somehow more dead than FM radio. True, but our initial guess is that the Cardinals asked that very question and KMOX’s owner CBS Radio had answer.

Our initial guess seems to be lining up with the rumors we have heard after talking to a few people after the news broke. Our guess? CBS promised the Cardinals that they too would be on the more robust FM signal soon. How? By killing KEZK and moving KMOX to 102.5 FM, leaving 112o AM to be a more sports-heavy talk sister station to KMOX, and of course, simulcast Cardinal games on both signals.

With that information in hand, the Cardinals had the perfect answer. Going to KMOX certainly wins by the old-folks crowd, and the move to FM nullifies any benefits that WOXS was offering. No brainer.

…you know what would be super cool though, is if someone could invent a device that also broadcasts video of the game along with the audio. That would really be something! You wouldn’t want Mike Shannon on there though, he gets a little sloppy. You’d want someone smooth, well spoken, but knows when to shut up and, of course, above reproach…eh, screw it. This guy will do:

via STLToday

We had this really great baseball team in April and now we can’t find it, so we took to Craigslist to see if we can track it down.

Any help locating it would be greatly appreciated.

Click for a larger view. Actual posting is at http://stlouis.craigslist.org/laf/1930411367.html

The Cardinals lost. Tony hates Rasmus. The team just doesn’t give a crap. Buzz Bissinger’s pissed. Blah blah blah…when will the Cardinals give us something new! Anything?! Please! Just anything!

Last night we got this:

“Happ stymies Cardinals with two-shit shutout”

Telling the world about your game-long battle with the Deluxe Nachos really takes the win out of your use of “stymies”.

In honor of the Cardinals upcoming “Social Media Day” did you know the Cardinals auto-tweet out their headlines? Hell yeah they do!

Go internet!

Soon after the Cardinals faithful had their little laugh at all of this, the headline was updated and the tweet was removed, almost like it never happened. It did though. We have screenshots.

Don’t fire the headline guy Cardinals! He did his very best to take all of our mind off how astonishingly bad this team is for at least a moment.

Sports Illustrated is counting down all 101 (apparently both 0 and 00 count) jersey numbers and naming the best players to wear that numeral of all time. In the list the Rams snagged five spots, with the majority coming from the LA days. The old skool Cardinals snuck one in there too later on down the list.

#28 Marshall Faulk

A key cog of the Rams’ “Greatest Show On Turf,” Faulk played his last game in 2005, ending a career in which he produced 19,154 combined yards from scrimmage. His 6,875 yards receiving are the most by any running back. #

#29 Eric Dickerson

An electrifying open-field runner, Dickerson ran for an NFL-record 2,105 yards in 1984 and gained 1,800 or more rushing yards in three of his first four seasons. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999. #

#74 Merlin Olsen

Before he became an actor and commercial pitchman, Olsen terrorized quarterbacks during his 15-year-career with the Rams and played in 14 straight Pro Bowls. #

#75 Deacon Jones (beating out Mean Joe Greene!)

A sack-master before it became cool, the 6-foot-5 defensive end teamed with tackle Merlin Olsen to give the Rams a “Fearsome” left side of the defensive line. #

#85 Jack Youngblood

Hall of Fame defensive end was a seven-time Pro Bowl pick in 14 seasons with the Los Angeles Rams (1971-84). Tough and durable, he played 201 straight games — and all of Super Bowl XIV despite a broken left leg. #

Dan Dierdorf, of the defunct St. Louis Cardinals, was deemed the best #72

The Hall of Fame right tackle anchored the Cardinals line over his 13 years with the club. He played in six Pro Bowls and following his retirement, he became an announcer with ABC and CBS Sports. #

No Kurt Warner didn’t get #13, that went to Dan Marino. Kurt did get “runner up” status though.

One other name you might recognize: Your mom won #69 because she was big enough to be a linebacker and was a total slut. Snap!

From the moment we posted about Dan McLaughlin this morning, we’ve been hearing report after report from all over about how lots and lots of people don’t like old “Danny Mac”. Lots of people are, dare we say, happy about this little traffic stop and following mug shot.

…and then we got this thrown our way:

The fact that someone took the time to make and circulate this says a lot. Also of note is that we still can’t look at that mugshot without giggling.

We’ve never talked with him, and have no official idea if he’s a douche, but damn if the evidence isn’t overwhelming. If anyone would like to share (anonymously of course) why people hate him, we’re all ears: tips@punchingkitty.com or 314-266-TIPS

Should be a fun Cardinals broadcast on Fox Sports Midwest tonight!

More:
Dan McLaughlin Gets Busted For Drinky Drinky Drivey Drivey
There is Already a Fake Dan McLaughlin Twitter Account

Update: We’ve been told by the (fake) man himself, this Twitter account has been around since April. It’s just upping the game with the recent news.

The internet works fast and it means business. (Fake) Dan McLaughlin has a Twitter account.

via twitter.com/FakeDanMclaughl

Here’s a few quick notes in the aftermath of Brandon Phillips’ testicles finally dropping. Turns out they were behind his vagina.

1. If Phillips’ balls finally made an appearance, they went right back up inside after Yadier Molina got in his face.

2. Brandon Phillips drives the douchiest car imaginable. Naturally.

Not more than a few days ago, Yahoo! Sports dropped this little nugget about how the now famous Brandon Phillips: He drives a big purple expensive douche-mobile!

3. There is reason to cheer for Phillips.

Read the rest of this entry »

Lets hope Cardinals’ second baseman (kinda) Skip Schumaker follows the whole “glass is half full” metaphor for life because yesterday was a doozy.

Skip’s day started out with being labeled as one of the 10 worst everyday players in Major League Baseball on sport writer Joe Posnanski’s personal blog. Under the heading of “Nominees” for the league’s Least Valuable Player, Skip cracked the bottom 10 along with other notable names: Carlos Lee (Astros), Derrek Lee (Cubs), Jason Kendall (Royals) and Miguel Tejada (Padres). Being listed with these names isn’t all bad, but since its not the 2002 All-Star roster, we guess it really isn’t all that good either.

[P]eople tend to love Skip Schumaker. And for good reason: His name is Skip, and the guy will do anything for the club. He moved to second base last year even though he had never before played the position (a guy named Skip SHOULD play second base). And though he struggled there defensively, he at least held his own and got on base enough to be of value to the Cardinals. This year, so far, he has a 78 OPS+, his defense at second base still seems quite a bit below average, and he has run into quite a few outs on the bases. We’ll see how he plays in what is shaping up to be the best division race in baseball.

Well it’s funny you say that Joe, because that last line was one hell of a segue into Skip’s grand-freaking-slam Monday night in the first game of the crucial series with the Reds! Big hit Skippy! …his defense is still crap…but BIG HIT! Woooo! What do you have to say Skip?

“That’s the first time it’s happened in my career,” Schumaker said. “Everyone gets lucky once in a while. I probably hit it in the right park.”

Ok. That kind talk doesn’t really dispell the you suck talk much, but that’s cool! You’re the man now dog! Just wait until you get some sweet publicity on ESPN!

…so about that…

As @PitchersHit8th noticed last night, they kinda…well…they misspelled Skip’s name on the scrolling news bar. Ouch.

Keep focusing on that home run Skip…believe to achieve buddy.

Oh, also, apparently Skip…you’re also a little bitch. Brandon Phillips told us to tell you that.

Cincinnati Reds’ Second Baseman Brandon Phillips got a little nicked up playing the Cubs recently, but when asked if he would ok for the big Cardinals series Phillips had this to say (according to daytondailynews.com):

“I’d play against these guys with one leg. We have to beat these guys. I hate the Cardinals. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them, they’re little bitches, all of ‘em. I really hate the Cardinals. Compared to the Cardinals, I love the Chicago Cubs. Let me make this clear – I hate the Cardinals.”

Yup. It’s pretty clear Brandon.

*Clears throat*

Who the f*ck are you calling a little bitch? Is this the guy who is such a douche he won’t even talk to certain reporters because they dared to question his hustle earlier this year?! Jesus christ…lets get something straight, hitting a career .268 with an .317 OBP doesn’t make you a star worthy of blowing off reporters and talking this level of trash, it makes you barely average. Don’t forget dipshit that your career was pretty much over when the Indians gave up on you, trading you to the Reds for a bag of balls and a fungo bat, probably because your an ass-wipe, but also because you were supposed to be good, but managed to piss away your talent in to being a league-average player and an All-Star bitch.

How did you do yesterday? 0-5 with a strikeout. Cool. Just checking.

Dude, Scott…what’s up with your boy?!

Um Scott Rolen, the apparent leader in the Reds’ clubhouse…you down with this shit dude? Even if you twist this in to somehow not being a dig at you and the 48 other ex-Cardinals on the Reds roster, then at least its gotta piss you off taking cheap-shots in the media at your buddies right? You gonna take care of this?

Tony LaRussa picked up on this little nuance himself, pointing that fact out to Fox Sports Midwest’s B.J. Rains last night after the game:

Upon hearing the quote, one Cardinals player asked, “Has Tony (La Russa) heard this?”

The Cardinals manager apparently had, telling the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “I don’t think that will go over well in his own clubhouse. Phillips is ripping his teammates – Scott Rolen, Miguel Cairo, Russ Springer, Jim Edmonds – all the ex-Cardinals over there. He isn’t talking about this year. He is talking about the way we’ve always played and those guys are old Cardinals. Tell him he’s ripping his own teammates because they are all old Cardinals.

That’s cool man. Get the Cardinals jacked up for the game, it might be just what this team needs to get that spark going.

Oh…and Pujols would like to see you for a moment Brandon.

[Editor's Note: Yes, we make fun of the Cardinals all the time, but they're our Cardinals. Brandon Phillips can suck our balls.]

According to the Cincinnati Reds’ Twitter feed, they have just acquired former Cardinal Jim Edmonds.

This move continues ex-Cardinal GM Walt Jockety’s quest to rebuild his old Cardinal team in Cincinnati that currently includes Scott Rolen, Jason Isringhausen, Russ Springer and Miguel Cairo.

We hear a waiver deal possibly involving Fred Bird is next, but until then expect an Edmonds appearance later on in the upcoming series vs the Reds.

Update: It’s on ESPN now too.