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busch stadium

Sports

The Cardinals Couldn’t Even Get a Hit With a 100 Pound Metal Plate


Posted by The Editor on 03 Aug 2011 /
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A 100-pound steel plate fell off Busch Stadium Monday afternoon. It fell the height of the park, safely crashing to the ground below, proving that nothing with a Cardinal logo can seem to hit anything these days.

Crews roped off an area outside of Busch Stadium after a section of metal soffit fell to the sidewalk below after ground crews discovered the problem Monday afternoon.

Had the Cardinals been at home and the stadium filled with people, this metal plate would have just turned at least two hoosiers, an old lady, and one minority about to be the first in their family to go to college in to little more than sticky paste on the Busch Stadium sidewalk. The ridiculous amount of work it would take to scrap that paste out of all the little nooks in those engraved sidewalk bricks would only be second to the amount of work the Cardinals would have had to do to keep from being the poster boys of the new national “Oh god! Not even sporting events are safe for our kids!” hysteria.

You know, you go to a game, hang around a bit afterwards, and you see Red’s manager Dusty Baker standing on a ladder. You don’t think to yourself “Why is Dusty Baker on a ladder mumbling to himself about the Cardinals?” all you can think of is “Wow, I’m meeting Dusty Baker! Sure I’ll hand him that wrench he asked for! What could go wrong?”

via KMOV


Happening

Old Photo of the Beatles at Busch Stadium Surfaces


Posted by The Editor on 01 Apr 2011 /
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NPR recently posted some rare behind the scenes photos of The Beatles, which were this british pop band from the olden days. (We’d never heard of them, but Steve Jobs told us they were a big deal, so we gave them a shot…not bad!) What the hell was the point of all this?…oh yeah, here’s one from St. Louis!

There are George and John chilling at the locker rooms at old Busch Stadium (II)! Pretty cool, to be sure, but these old photos are so grainy. Is that a jacked to the left of George or a figure? Time to bust out the CSI “enhancer tool”!

…this is where the computer is thinking but also making that weird fast beeping sound, as if that sound, every time a computer was processing wouldn’t be annoying at all…

Ding!

Oh we should have guessed! It was current Cardinal and future Cub first basemen, Albert Pujols in his whitey-tighty underwear hanging around the Cardinals clubhouse still…er…then. You make doubt our photo skills, but this enhanced photo does shed some light on why George seems so tense, all awkward and bundled up. If we were just 2 feet and a thin layer of stretchy cotton away from Pujols junk we’d be a little unnerved too.

via Derrick Goold’s Twitter stream


Capitalism and Politics

Busch Stadium Gives the Leftovers to Homeless People


Posted by The Editor on 31 Mar 2011 /
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The Cardinals are making it kown that they have been working with Operation Food Search to pack up all un-eaten food and supply it to homeless shelters.

Jeramie Mitchell, the stadium’s Food and Beverage Director, says the Cardinals work with Operation Food Search. They pack any quality food in coolers, and the organization picks it up the next day.

Operation Food Search is a St. Louis organization that distributes food to homeless shelters and others in need. Last season, the Cardinals donated $100,000 worth of food.

The move is perfect for the homeless, since they don’t mind the stale multi-colored chips, the crusty buns and most of them already smell like ballpark farts. However, this will surely ruffle the feathers of the family of 10 from Jefferson County that just paid $234 to eat at the ballpark, thus putting their next month’s rent in jeopardy…which then technically puts them inline to get the food they just bought, for free. “Hey guy! Can I just take me free hotdogs now? See we’re up in section 455 and we were just sliding by until my daughter wanted a $40 foam finger which hurts and then I remembered it was Thursday, so I’m fixin’ to be fired for sure. Oh with mustard! Mustard is free too right?”

Just remember buddy, starting the wave in the 7th inning, annoying the crap out of the people actually trying to watch the game instead of you, and adult that won’t just admit he’s bored or doesn’t know what’s going on because “this is Cardinal Nation!”  is always free (with the price of admission).

Welcome back baseball!

via KMOV


Capitalism and Politics

U2 is Coming to Busch Stadium


Posted by The Editor on 02 Nov 2010 /
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Hello St. Louis! Are you ready to rock?!

Mega-band U2 has been booked for a July 17th, 2011 appearance at our very own Busch Stadium! Announced Monday afternoon, the Cardinals are bringing the bands “360 Tour” and its musical spectacle packed in 120 semi trucks to the Busch Stadium field.

Take the largest stage and tour production in history, one of the greatest bands of all time with three decades of hits, add the world class Busch Stadium, and you have the formula for an evening you’ll never forget.

…especially if you are on the Cardinals grounds crew who will have to quickly re-sod the entire field after the concert before the Cardinals return home. It’s like we’re having a big party and Mr. Pujols’ place and have to make sure it’s super clean so he doesn’t find out.

Though the Cardinals say that most of the tickets will have sub-$100 prices, ranging from $32.50 to $252.50, we assume that’s just the face value of the ticket. Just below that price you’ll see:

Service charge: $5.00
St. Louis Fun Tax: $2.50
Pujols New Contract Tax: $23.25
Holliday Previous Contract Tax: $13.75
Aaron Miles Tax: - $0.60

That Aaron Miles, always giving back to the fans! Seriously though, please retire.

via STLToday

[Editor's Note: Be sure to checkout Joe Sports Fan's compilation of U2 concert posters!]


Sports

Stadium Health Inspection Report: The St. Louis Blues Are Really Clean


Posted by The Editor on 28 Jul 2010 /
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The Blues Win Something! Hello? Hello?! They Won Something. No one cares?

Ok, we might have been overselling it somewhat. They didn’t really win anything…but their stadium did!

According to ESPN, out of the three major sporting venues in St. Louis, only the Blues’ home, the Scottrade Center, score perfect with no “critical violations”. The score is a percentage of vendors with health code violations out of the total vendors.

Scottrade Center
St. Louis Blues
Vendors with critical violations: 0%
Inspection report excerpt: No critical or major violations.

Perfection for Scottrade. Frankly this is not a surprise. The Blues ownership has done very well to help out their venue since signing on a few years back.

Busch Stadium

St. Louis Cardinals
Vendors with critical violations: 12%
Inspection report excerpt: No hand towels at a hand-washing sink caused two stands to incur critical violations.

Busch Stadium comes in second with 12%, because it was missing hand towels. This is surprising news in that we didn’t realize many Cardinal fans actually washed their hands when leaving the john between innings.

Edward Jones Dome
St. Louis Rams
Vendors with critical violations: 21%
Inspection report excerpt: One location got a critical violation for not having hand towels at a sink.

The Rams? Dead last naturally with 21% of the vendors in violation of the health code. We aren’t sure yet if this score includes all the shit the team laid all over the playing surface last year.

In case you were wondering, and we know you were, the over-all lowest scores were dropped at the Colorado Avalanche’s home at the Pepsi Center…

Pepsi Center
Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche
Vendors with critical violations: 67%
Inspection report excerpt: At one bar, inspectors found phorid flies, sometimes called coffin flies, in a bottle of cognac.

…the Miami Heat’s home base, American Airlines Arena, which is apparently not fit for a “king”…

American Airlines Arena
Miami Heat
Vendors with critical violations: 93%
Inspection report excerpt: Critical violations included several safety issues related to electrical wiring and such equipment as gas boilers.

…and Tropicana Field, home of the Rays…

Tropicana Field
Tampa Bay Rays
Vendors with critical violations: 100%
Inspection report excerpt: Several violations addressed dirty countertops, utensils and equipment. Although every report indicated a critical violation, all vendors met basic inspection standards to keep operating.

Looking at this list as a whole consider yourself lucky St. Louis, we have amazing clean sporting arenas compared to the rest of the nation. Oh and if you go to a Royals game, don’t use a knife:

Kauffman Stadium
Kansas City Royals
Vendors with critical violations: 62%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors cited one location with multiple violations for having several items that were either above or below safe temperatures; they found food debris on knives stored in a knife rack.


Going Out

Morons in the Humidity: A Busch Stadium Safari


Posted by The Editor on 02 Jun 2010 /
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As we said earlier today, we went to the ballgame last night…and unlike most times, we brought our camera! We have a few great clear shots of some particular Busch Stadium species we all know and love (to hate).

First up is Ithinkimcool forsomereason-us which is latin for “smug douche”. This guy decides its in his best interest to ruin other people’s fun at the game because he’s sad for some reason deep down inside. This particular creatures technique from last night was to wait until a single guy comes down to take a photo of the field, with play currently stopped, to yell “Can’t see!” I can’t stress enough that not only was nothing going on, but there had literally been upwards of 50 people crowding around this area at one point or another throughout the night, including times during play. The single guy just trying to take some fun, up-close shots in between innings? Yeah, that’s ruining your fun. Can’t have that.

Our second find of the night is probably even more annoying, but sadly no harder to find: Istartus Thewaveus

This is the guy that starts feeling the buzz around the 5th inning and perverts regular, non-douche thoughts, in to “If I don’t start the wave right now someone will die!” He then procedes to try to start the wave over and over again, as if the cold smack of being ignored has no effect on his beer empowered retard gland.

This particular specimen managed to infect the woman next to him to keep trying to start the wave in his original section while going to an adjacent section to ignite the wave there. Though largely a failure, it will be retold as a valiant effort that would have surely given the Cards that burst they needed to win had the other fans just trying to watch the game joined in.

We even have a little video of him failing to get a wave off the ground. Sad. Sadder still is that this guy will probably end up being a Congressmen from St. Charles County.

Lastly in our Busch Stadium Safari, we found the hoosier vacationus. This creature is strictly a pack animal and is prone to take bizarre photos throughout the game while being adorned in the worst, most ostentatious Cardinals gear they could find. Usually seen wearing jerseys with their own last name on them, shirts with fake player signatures, or that Cardinals gear in untraditional colors like camo or yellow. Sadly we were unable to get an actual photo, but we did manage to call in the Punching Kitty artist to draw our description as best they could.

We experienced a pack of 3, one either pregnant or full of a year supply of nachos (or both I guess) was the pack leader with its followers crowded around it posing in unnatural positions clinging to the pack leader.

As nature lovers, we always encourage our readers to submit their encounters with either these or other creatures that roam our beloved Busch Stadium.


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