Our crack investigative team has uncovered an internal memo that Tony LaRussa sent his “underling” General Manager John Mozeliak apparently, just after the close of the 2010 season.

It’s been a rough go so far, and while no one knows what the rest of the season will hold, it appears that “Mo” has pleased his Hall of Fame manager boss by completing the plan just ahead of schedule! Nicely done John! You might have just earned yourself a back slap the next time you do your usual “feed Tony peeled grapes” post-game ritual.

The St. Louis Cardinals finally managed to get rid of that Brendan Ryan they’ve had laying around their house for a while now taking up space. Derrick Goold from STLToday had the announcement:

The club traded their incumbent starting shortstop to the Seattle Mariners in exchange for High-A righthanded starter Maikel Cleto. The club confirmed the move this afternoon with an announcement.

Ryan became expendable for the Cardinals after they acquired infielder Ryan Theriot from the Los Angeles Dodgers last month. Theriot was billed immediately as the Cardinals starting shortstop, and they let other teams know that Ryan was availble [sic].

Pretty much the moment the dissapointing 2010 season came to a close, the Cardinals have done everything to rid themselves of Brendan Ryan short of putting him on the steps of the Padres in a basket, ringing the bell and running. They searched and searched for a new starting shortstop and then decided that they couldn’t afford a good one, settling with the scrappy Ryan Theriot. Moments after that accquistion, the Cardinals spent most of their time telling everyone that Theriot was starting shortstop and Ryan was a big douche that no one wanted to play with and they really needed to get rid of him. A clever gambit by the Cardinals to publicly disparage the player they were trying to unload in order to get as little return as possible worked out, netting Maikel Cleto from the Mariners.

Cleto, 21, went 4-9 with a 6.16 ERA in 23 appearances (21 of which were starts) with a career-high 83 strikeouts in 102 1/3 innings for the Mariners advanced-A affiliate. Cleto went on to start at the Arizona Fall League, where he went 2-1 with a 7.91 ERA in six starts.

…but apparently he can throw hard, so that’s something.

“I’m excited to go where I’m wanted,” Ryan told FOXSportsMidwest.com

Pretty safe to say that Brendan Ryan can now be listed in the “F*ck You Cardinals” list after having Tony LaRussa and General Manager John Mozeliak effectively create the MLB-version of a Craiglist ad with price of “Bag of balls or you’re best offer.” joining big names like Scott Rolen, Jim Edmonds and Woody Williams along with small names like John Rodriguez.

Despite Ryan’s obvious claim to the “woe is me” title in all of this, the person we’re saddest for is Fox Sports Midwest baseball scribe B.J. Rains who spent the majority of this calendar year getting quotes from Ryan and then tweeting them ad nauseam. In just the last 6 hours (of this writing) Rains had dropped nearly 20 tweets about the departing shortstop.

Hang in there B.J.! We’ll keep our fingers crossed for you in the hopes that the Cardinals pick up someone later this off-season that will talk to you.

via STLToday

The quirky Cardinals shortstop that’s had a permanent reservation at Tony LaRussa‘s dog house appears to be on his way out of St. Louis. After the Cardinals acquired ex-Cub Ryan Theriot from the Dodgers, the writing has been on the wall for Brendan Ryan, the mustachioed gentleman in the photo to the right taken a year ago when one of the local clubs had its douchebag collection on public display.

Is this really it though? Can’t Brendan sill rock out defensively, even though he can’t hit above his weight? Tell us Derrick Goold of STLToday!

The motive for moving Ryan is even more spurious. It seems like the Cardinals are willing to trade him not just because he had a down offensive year and remains a confounding riddle at the plate, but because his personality (his perceived personality) isn’t a fit. That is a flimsy reason to give up on his potential and give away his glove.

There you have it. Brendan is really out because there’s something about him that got under people’s skin, and clearly, as the photo above suggests, he was a bad influence on young Colby Rasmus. A dismembered Mickey Mouse shirt AND the flat bill hat with untucked chain?! You’re lucky you can hit Colby. Tony don’t play that.

If only Brendan was a little less weird and much crappier defensively, only then could he have most certainly become a Tony favorite like Aaron Miles. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be and it appears Ryan will be long traded before spring training begins.

In the meantime, you hard-core Brendan Ryan fans can buy his locker nameplate from the 2010 season:

Don’t all go rush to MLB.com at once now.

If I didn’t recognize the two on the left as St. Louis Cardinals Brendan Ryan and Colby Rasmus, I would say this picture appears to be the start of an amazing douche collection.

It has it all, the guy that throws the peace sign everywhere, the “I’ve been rocking this so long it can’t possibly be ironic any longer” mustache and a straight up classic “Me Play Sports Good” face on young Colby in the middle.

Don’t get us wrong, Rasmus and Ryan are solid young players, but photos like this make us miss Larry Walker and Reggie Sanders.