Who wouldn’t want to wake up to that face in the morning? Apparently this snooty broad from Belleville who got all uptight when she woke up to see a homeless guy (above) standing in her room.

According to police, the man was found inside the home in the 100 block of East Monroe last Thursday. The Victim woke up, screamed and the suspect left her room. Officers came and arrested the man without any incident.

Sure its not the holidays for another few months, but can’t people just let a guy sneak in to their house while they sleep and then creepily and calmly stare at you until you wake up? Dust to dust man! We’re all people on this earth, just trying to get along, stay warm and find a good place to steal some silverware for drugs after rubbing one out while watching strangers.

The intruder was charged with one count of criminal trespassing. The woman was sentenced to never being able to sleep soundly again.

via KMOV

A community pool in Belleville had to shut down yesterday, during one of the hottest days ever in the history of time. Sure the water felt nice on such a hot day, but did it feel puking and parasite nice? Not sure. Maybe just invest in a Slip n’ Slide.

The health department told the city to use more chlorine after one swimmer became sick. After that, three more swimmers became ill.

Those kids sound like little pussies. You want to go to the local pool? You gotta be tough. Parasites just one of the many pool related dangers afoot! Pee, poo, parasites, bitchy moms, fat people that don’t do us the courtesy of a cover-up t-shirt, or worse yet fat people that do wear a t-shirt in the pool, but go with a white one! What the hell is that? How is that helping anything? In fact seeing that translucent fabric clinging to your man boobs and back rolls might be worse that just going shirtless. How do they not know that thing about white becoming see-through in water? Haven’t their parents ever been to Spring Break?

Then there’s the poor kids that just come up and wear regular shorts in the pool. Sure there is nothing structurally wrong with regular shorts in the pool, but what the hell? Swim trucks seem like they can’t be that hard to come by and its not like they go out of style. …don’t get us started on the cut-off jeans swimming trunks, aka swim jorts. There’s no reason for those. People with those deserve their parasites.

via KMOV

Starting now, if you are arrested for selling drugs out of your home in Belleville, IL you will have a sign posted out in front of your house alerting the rest of the neighborhood…or letting the 14 year old white kid down the street know that he doesn’t have to buy his pot in the highschool parking lot after all.

Belleville individuals who are arrested for selling drugs out of their home will now have signs posted near their residence to alert their neighbors, according to the Belleville Police Department.

Some Belleville residents said they were surprised by the sign policy and don’t think it will change anything. “That’s not going to stop the drug problem,” one Belleville woman said. “It’s just going to make the neighborhoods look bad.”

Another Belleville man suggested the signs would make the drug problem worse because they will point people who want to buy drugs directly to a dealer.

Sax said police discussed this possibility and don’t think it’s likely. “How many people are really going to go buy drugs at a house that they know police are watching and know it’s a drug house?” he said.

Good point.  Its just not like someone needing a drug fix to not think clearly!

Frankly this whole thing isn’t worth the money it cost to create the signs.  Let me tell you why.  For one, the signs are only supposed to be up for one day.  Seriously. One day!  What the hell is that going to do? Now that we think about it though, we’d be shocked if a sign actually made it longer than one day outside because, and I’m not sure Belleville’s finest know this, you can just knock a sign over.  Its pretty amazing. You don’t even have to use your hands…you can just kick it if you want.

Also, you know everyone is going to want to steal one of these bad boys and hang it in their basement above to their home bar they totally took like a whole weekend building and it is soooo bitchin! You would not believe the parties we have here bro!  Cra…zy.

via Globe Democrat