While we’re a little late to the party since it was released a couple of weeks ago to select stores in the St. Louis market, we thought we’d mention AB’s Draftmark system anyway because it’s pretty cool actually [Editor's Note: AB supplied a Draftmark system for the Punching Kitty HQ to try out.] and this thing is tailor made for a New Years at home.

The idea is a lot like the Coors and Heineken home drafts, but your draft is reusable with currently three different refills available: Bass, Budweiser and Shock Top.

You have to charge a battery and clip in the refill, but that’s about it as far as setup, and yes, it does taste bar-worthy.

Currently the whole deal is only available in select St. Louis supermarkets, but the plan is to release it area-wide in February and then expand to other markets down the road. That’s right! St. Louis first! …which is why we thought we’d mention it: AB is letting all of St. Louis be beer hipsters so when it comes out in Chicago or Kansas City we can all say “Oh that thing? I’ve had that for months.” Don’t go buying your skinny jeans just yet though, remember it’s only Budweiser, Bass and Shock Top right now, so wait on any ironic t-shirt purchases until they allow you to refill this with crappier beer.

via Draftmark

Anheuser-Bush Inbev is planning to release a new variant of the Bud Light brand that is sweeter and with a higher alcohol percentage. Initial marketing documents uncovered by Punching Kitty had the beer being marketed as “Zima” but in the end it appears they decided to work off the current in-house trademarks.

Bud Light Platinum will come in a cobalt blue bottle and it will be 6 percent alcohol by volume, compared with Bud Light’s 4.2 percent, the company said.

The brewer said Thursday that the new, sweeter-tasting product will hit shelves in late January and offer a more upscale option for drinkers of light beer.

The new sweeter, get you drunker faster, beer is sure to be popular with gay people, girl people, underage people, and straight dudes who will try it and think to themselves Now see…that, is delightful. It’s just sweet and it’s not too heavy. It really just says… [Makes eye contact with other guy at bar.]  … “What is this crap?! Stupid…chick…dumb beer for sissies who like deliciousness. Does anyone have a football?! Lets throw that around or talk about hot broads or sports that don’t involve Penn State! High five!”

via KMOX

Anheuser-Busch InBev Monkey Unicorn, the long-named local brewery, has had to issue its third beer recall in just over a month. This one because of this little issue of glass shards getting in to a few lots of Stella Artois 10-packs. Luckily this recall, as with the prior two, have been confined to Europe, also known as “Not Here” which means it went to terrorists, which is cool I guess. USA! USA!

Story’s over! Oh wait, no it’s not. First we have to let this guy say something:

“Oh an Anheuser-Busch product was gross and had to be recalled? How could they tell?! He he he. Look at my cat chest tattoo! Also I feel the need to tell you that I listen to bands that you probably have never heard of.”

Good one hipster beer guy. If you were going to write something to that effect in the comments but now aren’t because we beat you to it, take a picture of you punching yourself in the face, and post that instead.

via STLToday’s Lager Heads

Sick of those stupid Miller and Coors commericals that plays constantly during the NFL season, mercilessly beating the hell out of a once semi-humorus premise.

Well you have one more season to get through.

Anheuser-Busch’s flagship brand Bud Light will be the official beer sponsor of the National Football League, edging out rival MillerCoors, which said Tuesday it wouldn’t renew its deal.

Anheuser-Busch’s six-year deal, which begins in the 2011 season, is worth more than $1 billion, a person close to the league said Tuesday.

So much for that whole “Inbev will cut the Bud Light marketing money” thing huh?  Also interesting is that with a six year deal starting in 2011, there’s a chance St. Louis might be the home of the NFL beer sponsor, but have no local NFL team to watch.

The good news though is those damn Coors Light commercials with the coach videos are gone after this year as I don’t think you would get access to those videos without being the official sponsor of the NFL. It’s exciting to look forward to…horsies playing football?  …dammit. Bud Light commercials suck now too.

All of this reminds me of a story…I’m an awesome chick magnet that beats up guys that pop their collar and still have their frat letters on their car more than 2 years after graduating from college.

I didn’t say it was a long story.

Two Columbia, MO garbage men decided throwing away one shipment of expired beer was hard enough, and they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it again.

A Columbia distributor, Scheppers Distributing Co., sent 1,500 cases of expired beer to the landfill on April 1 in two shipments. The first shipment was destroyed immediately, but the second, containing about 700 cases of Budweiser and Michelob Ultra, was not.

Margrace Buckler, the city’s human resource director, said two Solid Waste Division workers, who haven’t been identified, brought a city pickup truck to the landfill and hauled off about 50 cases of the beer.

Now after being confronted about their expired haul (after security camera footage fingered them) and one of them quitting over it, the city can’t decide if this is a crime, and something the police should deal with, or just a slip of garbage man slip of ethics. Yes apparently stealing expired beer from a landfill could, in fact be a legal matter.

Once the beer was left at the landfill, it became city property. That means the city could be liable if the sanitation workers shared it with other people, Buckler said.

We thought taking all the crap no one wanted anymore was like the main perk of being a garbage man. I mean, sure you basically deal with stank shit all day but you get to take home the cool chain-mail tank top you found beneath that pile of cheese and sorta cleaned off. Livin’ the dream man. Woah, hello! Dudes dropping of tons of beer. 2/19/2010. What’s today’s date?! Pretty sure its the first of Drunktober!

So was losing your job and possibly some sort of, albeit probably minor, criminal charge worth 50 cases of beer? …wait. 50 cases of expired beer?  Have you ever had an expired beer? Tastes like that beer you hate. You know. The one that everyone likes, but you because you have such refined tastes. You can’t be drinking that stuff!  How do you even know if it’s expired right?! High five! Now fist bump. Now lets do that jump in the air chest thing. Ok, now lets to that thing that Will and Jazz used to do on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Pfft. That beer. Total crap. Lets go have some of that good beer we both like.

via the AP

You can’t just get the InBev Anheuser-Busch big fuzzy horses to come to your sweet sixteen party for a bag of carrots any more. You need cold hard cash, because Belgians hate you.

Anheuser-Busch has started charging $2,000 a day for Clydesdales appearances to help offset the increased costs of hauling, feeding and caring for the brewer’s iconic horses.

Every year, A-B gets more requests for its 250 Clydesdales than it can meet so the new fee will also help keep demand in line with what’s available, he said.

Let me tell you something. Totally not worth it. All the horses do is walk up, show you their teeth and then shit on your lawn. They don’t play football, they don’t have donkey friends, and they don’t have snow fights. Hell, they only look majestic until they get closer and you find out they smell so much like ass and hops you thought you just tripped in to a frat party.

Here’s a tip: Head up Jefferson to Natural Bridge Road, take a right and turn in to the first alley on your right. Shoranda will take a dump on your lawn for way less than 2 grand.

via St. Louis Business Journal