According to our sources the St. Louis Cardinals have had internal discussions about trading injured so-so shortstop Brendan Ryan to the New York Yankees for All-Star third baseman Alex Rodriguez.

It is not clear whether the Cardinals have brought this idea to the attention of the Yankees. Even if the Yankees were actually to consider this offer it might be a difficult to one to work out as A-Rod is a good contributor and has recently bonded with the New York fans after reclaiming the World Series title in 2009.

We asked a Cardinals’ official about these internal discussions who responded only with “What?! This is completely stupid…wait, how did you get this number?”

Money could be a possible issue on this deal as Rodriguez makes a staggering $27.5 Million dollars a year, but the issue is side-stepped as the Cardinals’ internal discussions involve the Yankees picking up all of the money owned to Rodriguez for some reason. Also the internal discussions involve the Yankees would deliver muffins to the Cardinals on the completion of the deal.

This news may well echo the recent news of the Phillies internal discussions involving a trade of Ryan Howard to the Cardinals for reigning MVP Albert Pujols.  Speaking of that deal, here’s what Buster Onley, the story’s author, had this today in his blog (ESPN Insider required):

About the Howard/Pujols story the other day: What was written was dead-on.

I did not write that there were ongoing discussions between the two teams.
I did not write that the Cardinals had an inclination to deal Pujols.
I did not write that the Phillies are looking to dump Ryan Howard.

Internal discussions are part of the sport. It’s how the Phillies got to the point that they pursued Mike Lowell and Halladay, in spite of their flat denials. I once wrote a story about their serious interest in Lowell, and club executives shot it down as untrue; an assertion that was, in itself, completely untrue.

Internal discussions are how the Cardinals got to the point that they made a deal last summer for Matt Holliday. Quite frankly, if the Phillies’ executives didn’t have those kinds of conversations, they wouldn’t be doing their jobs.

And as a reporter, when you have confirmed information that the Phillies have discussed internally an avenue through which they might pursue the best player in baseball — and you know exactly who said what to whom, and how sturdy the intent was — that is news.

The only difference was, in this case, that the internal conversations were about two superstars. And while it may be inconvenient to some, it’s credible.

Not only that, but Buster was also a guest on 101 ESPN’s Burwell and Someoneelse show. Don’t get shocked now, but Burwell didn’t exactly ask the important questions as much as verbally fellate Olney over the WXOS airwaves. The “interview” consisted of them bashing everyone for not reading the Olney piece and then Burwell saying that he “feels Olney’s pain.”

Look guys, yes there were those that, for some reason, read Olney’s piece and thought a trade was in the works, but I think they are the minority.  The real question is: How is this even news?  Buster himself even says in his reply

Quite frankly, if the Phillies’ executives didn’t have those kinds of conversations, they wouldn’t be doing their jobs.

And I think we can all agree that probably every MLB team at one point or another, has said internally “How the hell do we get Pujols on his team.”  So once again we ask, how the hell is this news?  We usually like Buster Olney, but later this season, please don’t tell us all about the internal discussions the Phillies have about where to go to lunch.

Um, no.

That’s the rumor though according to an ESPN article.  Internal discussions in the Phillies front office have centered on pitching a deal that would trade one team’s MVP first baseman for another.

The logic for a Howard for Pujols swap, as discussed within the Phillies’ organization, could fall along these lines: Pujols, 30 years old, is eligible for free agency after the 2011 season, and early conversations about a contract extension have not led to any long-term deal. The expectation within baseball is that Pujols may ask for a deal that would rival, in annual value, the record-setting 10-year, $275 million deal that Alex Rodriguez negotiated with the Yankees in fall 2007.

If the Cardinals were to decide, at any point, that they could not afford to sign Pujols, they could consider dealing him, in the way the Toronto Blue Jays traded Roy Halladay, or the Minnesota Twins traded Johan Santana.

And Howard, who is just a couple of months older than Pujols, would not be a bad alternative. In the past four seasons, Howard has hit 198 homers and accumulated 572 RBIs, and has finished in the top five of the NL MVP race.

Though we would agree if you are trading Pujols, from a PR perspective, getting local product Ryan Howard back would be about as good as it could get, in that there might be a little less rioting at the gates of Busch Stadium, but here’s why this is a horrible idea that the Cardinals will have nothing to do with: Yes, Howard can hit the long ball, but he strikes out far too much which is in sharp contrast to Pujols’ unheard of power and contact pairing.  Defense is another big issue in this.  Yes, Howard has gotten better, but Pujols is arguably the best defensive first baseman in the National League.

Calm down though, at this time the Phillies are denying any such talks (but what are they supposed to say) and there is no evidence that this idea has been in any way floated to the Cardinals.

We do know this though. If you are even a little annoyed that this is non-news is being discussed, I really wouldn’t turn on any sport talk stations tomorrow, because that’s all they are going to be talking about.  We can hear the confused grunts followed by the “I don’t know. This could work…” sounds coming out of D’Marco Farr now and call after call of freaking out red-necks dotted with a few armchair GMs trying to make this deal work.

I think we just talked ourselves out of ever listening to St. Louis radio sports talk ever again.

Here are more St. Louis anagrams, where where mix the letters up and find the results more than a little creepy!

Chris Carpenter……….Sphincter Racer

Yadier Molina……….I Nailed Mayor [Editor's Note: Woah and ewwwww. There's something you can't un-see.]

Albert Pujols……….Jots Bull Rape

Skip Schumaker……….Kicks Ear Humps

David Freese……….If Reds Evade [Editor's Note: I guess Dave's riding the pine when the Reds come to town.]

Brendan Ryan……….Ban Nerd Yarn

Matt Holliday……….Hit Today Mall

Colby Rasmus……….My Crabs Soul [Editor's Note: When you are young and rich, you can get crabs everywhere apparently! ]

Ryan Ludwick……….Run Wild Yack [Editor's Note: Incidentally, that's also his "Indian Name"]

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with our state senators?!  First they hate on poor defenseless nudie bars, then they try to strong arm the zoo, and now…well they are kicking a man while he’s down.

A Missouri state senator is trying to remove Mark McGwire’sname from a five mile stretch of Interstate 70 that runs through St. Louis. It’s the same lawmaker who pushed for the road to be renamed in honor of McGwire after his 1998 home run fueled season.

State Senator Ryan McKenna says that it’s now inappropriate in light of McGwire’s steroid admission.

Ok, so McGwire was taking the roids while we all collectively gave him a fan-job. Yeah, thats bad. But you know what? At the time he was basically a god and all we did was take a little stretch of a highway in the ugliest part of downtown and basically fake named it.  Yes, fake named it.  Its not really the Mark McGwire highway, its just highway 70…with a sign over it.

And now Senator McKenna wants to take the sign away.  Probably just so he can look cool and win the next election to state senate…you know because of all the power he wields.

That’s all.  He’s not “un-naming” anything, he just wants a sign taken down.  At this point, who gives a crap?  The dude knows he screwed up, and at this point who cares about a sign on the north part of downtown.  No one seems to care about the other ones there, like “Please don’t shoot other people.” or “It would be great if you would take a dump on the street homeless guys.”

We know its probably unpopular decision, but we at Punching Kitty say Don’t Take McGwire’s Sign!

Who’s with us?!

via KSDK

Wentzville High grad, 6th pick in the draft a few years ago and current Washington National’s starting pitcher Ross Detwiler is out for three months after undergoing surgery to repair torn right hip cartilage.

No word yet if the wound was self-inflicted when he realized he had to go back to Spring Training for the Nationals.

via ESPN

Its been confirmed through a few sources that it is in fact the Matt Holliday tweeting at twitter.com/mattholliday7.

Not only that, but after reading over his stream of “tweets” we can say Matt Holliday seems pretty cool. Below is a sampling of some of his best mind droppings.

Matt Holiday’s thoughts on…

Turkey Bacon:

not sure turkey bacon has earned the right to be called bacon, maybe breakfast turkey strips

Brett Favre:

qb no no, roll right throw back left to middle

Former football players getting fat: [Editor's Note: Watched this and thought the same thing.]

Duece is enjoying the retirement gumbo a little to much

And lastly, the offseason:

On my way to workout with trainer, trying to pump myself up. Ready for spring training! ST is way easier than offseason workouts

Follow Holliday at mattholliday7 and while you are at it, follow us at punchingkitty!

I feel like we let you down.  We were right on top of Matt Holliday’s wife, but we missed new Cardinal starting pitcher Brad Penny’s sexier half!

Luckily Cardinals Diaspora has it covered.

Wait, Brad Penny? The Pitcher?

I did a double take too, friends. But it’s true. And lucky for us he decided to take his babe to Turks & Caicos last week and have her play catch.

On the beach.

In a bikini.

Here’s to you Brad Penny.  We always thought you looked like the guy from SmashMouth but apparently that works for some broads.  In fact it worked on Alyssa Milano.  Who looks like this:

Jesus, its like this guys privates are made of dark chocolate.

In a related story Ray King recently drew a face on a pillow and named it Sarah.

What do you do when you product now seems old and the kids these days with their iPods and internets don’t respond to your marketing?  Make it extreme!

In this case, that means add a word that still technically means the same thing as eat but sounds awesome because generally its about cars.

Wheaties Fuel!

…oh and add Pujols to the box.

Notice the reproduction of Pujol’s signature.  That’s how you know he approves of it.

via Matt Leach on Twitter

There once was a man name Stubby Clapp you toiled away in the Cardinals minor league system, only briefly appearing in the majors in 2001. In 25 at-bats Clapp tallied 5 hits, 1 walk, 7 strike outs and 1 RBI giving him a .200 average.  Nice. His fame in Memphis playing for the minor league Redbirds though knew no bounds and in fact his #10 is the only one ever to be retired by the team.

So whatever happened to Stubby Clapp, straddler of the Mendoza Line and the best named player in the history of the St. Louis Cardinals?

I’ll tell ya!  Dude’s carrying around the Olympic torch!

Savannah’s Stubby Clapp recently covered 300 meters with the Olympic Torch in LaSalle, Ontario, near his hometown of Windsor.

“It was an unbelievable experience,” Clapp said. “The experience, pride and passion that came with carrying the torch which is a sign of peace.”

Well there you go.  Stubby Clapp.  Olympics.  Torch.  Other Noun.

When Clapp isn’t being picked on for his name or carrying the torch he spends his time as a hitting instructor in the Astros minor leagues.

via JacksonSun.com

Rick Ankiel has come to an agreement to play with cross-state pseudo-baseball team the Royals.  Soon Royals fall in love with Rick’s ability to hit the occasional beautiful home run and the breeze in center field he provides on most at-bats for those steamy summer night games.

Ankiel with make $3.25 million next year because he wasn’t very good last year and didn’t play that much.

In a related story I once had a job I wasn’t very good at and only really showed up half the time, but they fired me and I still owed them money for the blue vest.