Here are more St. Louis anagrams, where where mix the letters up and find the results more than a little creepy!

Chris Carpenter……….Sphincter Racer

Yadier Molina……….I Nailed Mayor [Editor's Note: Woah and ewwwww. There's something you can't un-see.]

Albert Pujols……….Jots Bull Rape

Skip Schumaker……….Kicks Ear Humps

David Freese……….If Reds Evade [Editor's Note: I guess Dave's riding the pine when the Reds come to town.]

Brendan Ryan……….Ban Nerd Yarn

Matt Holliday……….Hit Today Mall

Colby Rasmus……….My Crabs Soul [Editor's Note: When you are young and rich, you can get crabs everywhere apparently! ]

Ryan Ludwick……….Run Wild Yack [Editor's Note: Incidentally, that's also his "Indian Name"]

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with our state senators?!  First they hate on poor defenseless nudie bars, then they try to strong arm the zoo, and now…well they are kicking a man while he’s down.

A Missouri state senator is trying to remove Mark McGwire’sname from a five mile stretch of Interstate 70 that runs through St. Louis. It’s the same lawmaker who pushed for the road to be renamed in honor of McGwire after his 1998 home run fueled season.

State Senator Ryan McKenna says that it’s now inappropriate in light of McGwire’s steroid admission.

Ok, so McGwire was taking the roids while we all collectively gave him a fan-job. Yeah, thats bad. But you know what? At the time he was basically a god and all we did was take a little stretch of a highway in the ugliest part of downtown and basically fake named it.  Yes, fake named it.  Its not really the Mark McGwire highway, its just highway 70…with a sign over it.

And now Senator McKenna wants to take the sign away.  Probably just so he can look cool and win the next election to state senate…you know because of all the power he wields.

That’s all.  He’s not “un-naming” anything, he just wants a sign taken down.  At this point, who gives a crap?  The dude knows he screwed up, and at this point who cares about a sign on the north part of downtown.  No one seems to care about the other ones there, like “Please don’t shoot other people.” or “It would be great if you would take a dump on the street homeless guys.”

We know its probably unpopular decision, but we at Punching Kitty say Don’t Take McGwire’s Sign!

Who’s with us?!

via KSDK

Wentzville High grad, 6th pick in the draft a few years ago and current Washington National’s starting pitcher Ross Detwiler is out for three months after undergoing surgery to repair torn right hip cartilage.

No word yet if the wound was self-inflicted when he realized he had to go back to Spring Training for the Nationals.

via ESPN

Its been confirmed through a few sources that it is in fact the Matt Holliday tweeting at twitter.com/mattholliday7.

Not only that, but after reading over his stream of “tweets” we can say Matt Holliday seems pretty cool. Below is a sampling of some of his best mind droppings.

Matt Holiday’s thoughts on…

Turkey Bacon:

not sure turkey bacon has earned the right to be called bacon, maybe breakfast turkey strips

Brett Favre:

qb no no, roll right throw back left to middle

Former football players getting fat: [Editor's Note: Watched this and thought the same thing.]

Duece is enjoying the retirement gumbo a little to much

And lastly, the offseason:

On my way to workout with trainer, trying to pump myself up. Ready for spring training! ST is way easier than offseason workouts

Follow Holliday at mattholliday7 and while you are at it, follow us at punchingkitty!

I feel like we let you down.  We were right on top of Matt Holliday’s wife, but we missed new Cardinal starting pitcher Brad Penny’s sexier half!

Luckily Cardinals Diaspora has it covered.

Wait, Brad Penny? The Pitcher?

I did a double take too, friends. But it’s true. And lucky for us he decided to take his babe to Turks & Caicos last week and have her play catch.

On the beach.

In a bikini.

Here’s to you Brad Penny.  We always thought you looked like the guy from SmashMouth but apparently that works for some broads.  In fact it worked on Alyssa Milano.  Who looks like this:

Jesus, its like this guys privates are made of dark chocolate.

In a related story Ray King recently drew a face on a pillow and named it Sarah.

What do you do when you product now seems old and the kids these days with their iPods and internets don’t respond to your marketing?  Make it extreme!

In this case, that means add a word that still technically means the same thing as eat but sounds awesome because generally its about cars.

Wheaties Fuel!

…oh and add Pujols to the box.

Notice the reproduction of Pujol’s signature.  That’s how you know he approves of it.

via Matt Leach on Twitter

There once was a man name Stubby Clapp you toiled away in the Cardinals minor league system, only briefly appearing in the majors in 2001. In 25 at-bats Clapp tallied 5 hits, 1 walk, 7 strike outs and 1 RBI giving him a .200 average.  Nice. His fame in Memphis playing for the minor league Redbirds though knew no bounds and in fact his #10 is the only one ever to be retired by the team.

So whatever happened to Stubby Clapp, straddler of the Mendoza Line and the best named player in the history of the St. Louis Cardinals?

I’ll tell ya!  Dude’s carrying around the Olympic torch!

Savannah’s Stubby Clapp recently covered 300 meters with the Olympic Torch in LaSalle, Ontario, near his hometown of Windsor.

“It was an unbelievable experience,” Clapp said. “The experience, pride and passion that came with carrying the torch which is a sign of peace.”

Well there you go.  Stubby Clapp.  Olympics.  Torch.  Other Noun.

When Clapp isn’t being picked on for his name or carrying the torch he spends his time as a hitting instructor in the Astros minor leagues.

via JacksonSun.com

Rick Ankiel has come to an agreement to play with cross-state pseudo-baseball team the Royals.  Soon Royals fall in love with Rick’s ability to hit the occasional beautiful home run and the breeze in center field he provides on most at-bats for those steamy summer night games.

Ankiel with make $3.25 million next year because he wasn’t very good last year and didn’t play that much.

In a related story I once had a job I wasn’t very good at and only really showed up half the time, but they fired me and I still owed them money for the blue vest.

Over the last weekend the national media descended on St. Louis for a chance to talk steroids with Tony LaRussa, Albert Pujols and of course Slightly-Less-Big Mac.

Pujols had some really nice supportive things to say about McGwire to the press, but we can’t shake this feeling that Pujols is a little confused about what Mark confessed too exactly…

Maybe not though.  McGwire did seem pretty happy dancing with those “Single Ladies” in that video.

[Ring! ... Ring! ... Ring!]

Scott Boras: Hello?

Rick Ankiel: Hey!  How have you been?

SB: Uh, good.  Who’s this?

RA: Ha!  Yeah…so haven’t heard from you in a while.

SB: I know…I’ve been busy.  Seriously, who is this?

RA: Rick!  Rick Ankiel.

SB: Oh yeah!  Sorry…you know…bad connection.  How’s the old pitching arm kid?!

RA: Scott, remember?  I’m an outfielder now.

SB: …oh yeah. Real shame about that.

RA: Yeah, so anyway…great job with Matt Holliday by the way.

SB: Thanks! We really came out great on that one.  Really great deal.  When you get to free agency, hopefully you can get a deal yourself.

RA: That’s the thing actually.  I am a free agent.

SB: Oh.  Call your agen…

RA: You are my agent!

SB: Oh.

RA: Think I can get back with the Cardinals?

SB: No, I think I already took their money…er…I mean with Holliday…

RA: Yeah…Yankees?

SB: Maybe I’ll give them a call…or…well…

RA: What?

SB: Piratesayswhat?

RA: What?!

SB: Great. You’ll love Pittsburgh.  I hear the Steelers were good last year. …

RA: The Pirates?! Dude!

SB: Yup, turns out that was legally binding.

RA: But I hate Pittsburgh!

SB: Well seeing as how you rarely leave Spring Training, I don’t think that should be a problem.

[Click.]