attacked

Happening

Eighth Grade Class Attacked by Yellow Jackets!


Posted by The Editor on 08 Sep 2010 /


Ahhhhh! Breaking news from KSDK! A class of eighth grade students and their teachers were attacked!!!! …by yellow jackets…and it was last Thursday. One girl got stung a bunch of times, but she’s fine. Hmm. Seems like there should be more here…oh wait! Check out this picture KSDK made! Aaaaaaahhhhh!

We swear to you that we did not make that. It’s legit, and stupid. It’s legitimately stupid.

Sooo…on yeah. Aaaahhhhh! What happened to these poor students that had a total emergency when being attacked by that giant bug and that drop-shadowed font, but not enough for KSDK to report on it then?

After the group ran from the swarm, they waited for emergency workers at a pavilion. Firefighters praised the students and the teachers for not panicking.

Officials said there was no way to prevent the attack. But it helped that the teachers had just completed a required wilderness training program.

Ok, dammit. Kids going outside and getting stung isn’t news! No, it doesn’t help that you put a 20 pt font in front of the yellow jacket picture….I mean maybe if the text was blinking…but even then, only barely.

via KSDK


Crime

Woman Attacked in UMSL Bathroom


Posted by The Editor on 10 Dec 2009 /


Nothing worse than being at a night class and then getting attacked when trying to take a leak.

Campus police say they are following several leads. They say the attack happened about around 4:20 p.m. Tuesday in the Social Science and Business building.

School officials maintain UMSL is a very safe campus, although this is the second time this year that a potentially dangerous situation was reported on campus.

Yeah, we hear North St. Louis is a “very safe” part of town in general if you disregard all the murders and muggings.

No cameras are in the Social Science and Business building. According to campus police, a female student was approached in the women’s bathroom on the first floor of the building.

I agree.  Lets get some cameras in the lady’s room right away.

Luckily the woman wasn’t hurt as someone else came in before anything could happen and the perp got away.  He is still at large and is described as a tall african american man wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt.  Well, he shouldn’t be too hard to track down since that same non-descript guy has been implicated in every single other North St. Louis crime for the last 20 years.

Eventually they just gotta catch that guy.

via KSDK