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animals

Happening

Top 5 Name Suggestions For that Dumb Owl


Posted by The Editor on 25 May 2010 /
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The other day an endangered owl who clearly didn’t realize it was endangered, did it’s best Rams offensive linemen impression and got its owl face smashed in by a fire truck in Wentzville, MO.  The firemen said “Screw that. We’re not stopping. Owl wasn’t even on fire.” but when it got to where it was going, it realized the bird was stuck to their truck and then pretty much had to do something about it so it got a shovel and flicked it on the steps of a bird sanctuary. Maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that, but pretty close.

Anyway, now the people taking care of the bird want their names in the paper too, so they are suggesting a “Name the Bird” content. Sadly its not a poll, but something where they pick the best one which means it will end up being dumb like “Wentzvilly the Owl” or “Fire Bird”. Plus they don’t even know what gender the bird is…

One word of caution to contestants. Officials at the bird sanctuary said the sex of barred owls are difficult to determine, so while they think the injured owl is a male, they can’t be sure. Unisex names might be the way to go.

so that can only add to the suck.

That is just unacceptable. Here is what we have come up with

1. “Owlie McBeal”

2. “Owl Roker”

3. “Owl Qaeda” …because it attacked firemen.

4. “Stupid Owl”

5. “Owl Be Stuck in Wentzville Forever Now”

To make your suggestions head to www.wentzvillefirefighters.org which, coincidentally, is also the worst and oldest looking website ever, and makes you want to stab your eyes out with a 3.5 inch floppy disk and then go watch LA Law reruns with your good eye.

via Chas Beat


Sports

Tony LaRussa is Going to Be on Whatever the Hell “Housecat Housecall” is


Posted by The Editor on 11 May 2010 /
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Tony LaRussa doesn’t like to lose. We’ve heard good friends will be in town to have a meal with the man, and if the Cardinals loose that night, he won’t go. That’s mean, but that’s Tony. He can be a hard-nosed competitive, and frankly, mean guy some times. Hell look at him go at STLToday sports writer Bernie Miklasz.

…and then he’ll go do something like this:

…and we love every second of these moments.  We can’t get enough of stuff like this. I mean, how could you? Which is why we couldn’t have been happier to see that our friends at Cards Diaspora.com got their hands on new promo photos of LaRussa and family appearing on some show called Housecat Housecall which sounds just awful. I mean really really awful. Like watching Kirstie Alley eat spaghetti with her hands awful.

Yup. Looks awful.

The site is described on their site as

Each week, Dr. Katrina visits cat loving [f]amilies and, with the help of the Housecat Housecall®Mentors, Dr. Karen Sueda and Dr. Rich Goldstein, she’ll try to make some sense out of a wide range of feline puzzlers. Whether it’s just a quirky behavior or something more complex, Dr. Katrina and her team work out real solutions that help bring peace, harmony, and well-being back to the homes of cats and owners.

Clearly we’re cool with the whole cat thing, but on Tony. You’re better than this. Also you don’t see Jose Oquendo doing this stuff…just sayin’.

If anything deserves a cat face-palm it’s this.

via Cards Diaspora


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