PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

The Fort Zumwalt East Junior Varsity Football Team Needs to Take a Moment and Think About What They Did

 Posted on October 31, 2012  |  The Editor

Sorry for disappearing for a couple of days, but don’t go off and be a stripper just yet, daddy’s back. Give us a hug! (Hug your monitor. Don’t leave us hanging.) High school is a weird place where the acne-addled hive-mind will occasionally decide something is cool despite that fact that no, it is not…actually it’s way past not cool, like 5 exits past not cool, and it’s getting a fountain soda at the gas station off of WTF Road. [Read More]
football  fort zumwalt  high school  pervert  st. peters 

Tiny Fey Blasts Todd Akin

 Posted on October 26, 2012  |  The Editor

“If I have to listen to one more grey-faced man with a $2 haircut explain to me what rape is,” she warned, “I’m going to lose my mind!” That was Saturday Night Live alum, current 30 Rock star, and not-so-secret-crush ours Tina Fey speaking Wednesday to the attendees of the Center for Reproductive Rights Inaugural Gala in New York. Fey did specifically mention everyone’s favorite creepy retarded uncle and wanna be Missouri Senator Todd Akin… [Read More]
tina fey  todd akin 

Horrible Face-Shooting Thieving D*ckhead Brought to Justice

 Posted on October 26, 2012  |  The Editor

Vincent Newman has been apprehended and charged with at least one of the recent string of violent robberies in South City, and more charges are expected. Just listen to what this dickhead did: A 27-year-old woman was shot at 5:55 a.m. Wednesday as she walked to her car in the 1600 block of South Spring Avenue. The man took her purse and shot her in the face, police said. A 20-year-old woman was robbed of her cellphone and tablet computer. [Read More]
assault  gun violence  robbery  south city 

“Free” Bathroom Trash Sold on Craigslist for $150

 Posted on October 25, 2012  |  The Editor

St. Louis Craigslist, you never stop dropping little joy pellets. Little tiny joy turds, and just like turds, they are something to occasionally gawk and marvel at, but that’s about as close as you’re willing to get. Take the recent example of someone giving away their bathroom trash. Let that sink in for a second. Now take another second to let the fact that this free bathroom trash they are giving away, is priced at $150. [Read More]
craigslist 

Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting

 Posted on October 24, 2012  |  The Editor

We kinda accidentally, sorta took a day off last night when we didn’t write anything. That’s OK though, because our friends at Joe Sports Fan picked us up and took care of the important stuff: Making fun of Mayor Slay. Apparently Mayor Slay, in addition to the rest of the things he’s horrible at like “being a mayor”, is also horrible at making and going through with small pointless bets. Joe Sports Fan has the whole rundown, but in short: He won’t go to any trouble other than taking a picture of his TV when he loses, and won’t spring for better shipping when he actually wins the bet. [Read More]
baseball  bet  mayor slay  nlcs  nlds 

The Cardinals Choked

 Posted on October 23, 2012  |  The Editor

Not much to say about a three games as shitty as that, which is good, because we sure the hell don’t feel like writing much about it. There’s no question the Cardinals choked this one away with their horrible…well, everything. The question is: Where does this sit in the pantheon of all time Cardinal chokes? We asked. You answered. The consensus? This was horrible. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to go shave this playoff beard. [Read More]
cardinals  choke  nlcs 

Springfield Pastor Gives Surprising Equality Speech

 Posted on October 22, 2012  |  The Editor

This clip was everywhere over the weekend, but it’s pretty great and happened in Springfield: The clip shows a Springfield paster standing up at a city council meeting to discuss the city’s modification of the nondiscrimination ordinance to include sexual orientation and gender identity. Don’t get too excited. It’s still Missouri, so this great speech didn’t matter because Springfield’s council “tabled” the bill because they are pussies. via everywhere, but we saw it on Gawker first. [Read More]
gay rights  missouri  springfield 

St. Louis: Where Bank Robbers Yell “Go Cards!”

 Posted on October 22, 2012  |  The Editor

Arnold police are still looking for the bank robber who exclaimed “Go Cards!” on his way out the door with the cash. Welcome to St. Louis. This is what we do: break laws and watch baseball. Police say the man entered the First Bank at 3850 Jeffco Boulevard, approached the teller and presented a note demanding money around 1:15 p.m. Friday. After taking an undisclosed amount of money, the man reportedly yelled, “Go Cards! [Read More]
arnold  cardinals  robbery 

Old Timey Gossip Columnist Jerry Berger Accused of Sexual Misconduct

 Posted on October 19, 2012  |  The Editor

Jerry Berger’s been around for forever, talkin’ that old timey gossip around these parts. Stuff like this… Super Bowl XLVII, the biggest concert gig in the world, will feature **Beyonce **on Feb. 3 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. **Madonna **performed in last year’s halftime show. Huge news! Can’t get that anywhere else but BergersBeat.com! …and… The Shane Co. jewelers is eyeing the old Flotken’s Market space on the north side of Olive Boulevard just east of Warson Road in Olivette. [Read More]
gossip  jerry berger  pervert  stltoday 

Ozzie Smith is Selling His Gold Gloves

 Posted on October 18, 2012  |  The Editor

As reported yesterday by ESPN, the Hall of Fame former Cardinal shortstop Ozzie Smith will be selling a large chunk of his MLB hardware via the SCP Actions company. The list of items includes: All 13 of his Gold Gloves, 11 All-Star Game rings, and most notably, his Cardinal National League championship rings from 1985 and 2004, and the Cardinal World Series rings he was given by the team after the 2006 and 2011 championships. [Read More]
auction  cardinals  ozzie smith