In what is no doubt the most anyone has ever talked about radio since…um…I don’t know…jesus radio metaphors are hard…probably because no one cares about radio. Except for the St. Louis sports media who still thinks its really really really really really important.

As first reported today on STLtoday.com, the team announced late this afternoon that it will return its radio broadcasts to KMOX next season after five years at KTRS, where they had been airing after a 51-year run at KMOX.

The Cardinals choose KMOX over the other options of staying at KTRS and moving to sports talk upstart WXOS, 101.1 FM saying “fan sentiment and feedback” was a major factor in the decision. Some would say they choose wrong, that AM radio, despite KMOX’s legendary signal, is somehow more dead than FM radio. True, but our initial guess is that the Cardinals asked that very question and KMOX’s owner CBS Radio had answer.

Our initial guess seems to be lining up with the rumors we have heard after talking to a few people after the news broke. Our guess? CBS promised the Cardinals that they too would be on the more robust FM signal soon. How? By killing KEZK and moving KMOX to 102.5 FM, leaving 112o AM to be a more sports-heavy talk sister station to KMOX, and of course, simulcast Cardinal games on both signals.

With that information in hand, the Cardinals had the perfect answer. Going to KMOX certainly wins by the old-folks crowd, and the move to FM nullifies any benefits that WOXS was offering. No brainer.

…you know what would be super cool though, is if someone could invent a device that also broadcasts video of the game along with the audio. That would really be something! You wouldn’t want Mike Shannon on there though, he gets a little sloppy. You’d want someone smooth, well spoken, but knows when to shut up and, of course, above reproach…eh, screw it. This guy will do:

via STLToday

Oh sure you remember Eric Crouch! The Nebraska football stud quarterback that went on to get a Heisman and then be drafted by your St. Louis Rams as a wide receiver? Mad Mike Martz’s plan never really worked and after getting a real injury to go along with his hurt pride, Crouch retired just weeks before the regular season.

What’s he up to now?

Crouch is now the owner of Crouch Recreation, a company that installs park and playground equipment ranging from water slides to scoreboards in Nebraska, South Dakota and Iowa.

“I made the mistake in my career [of] saying, ‘Just get drafted the highest position and I would be open to playing anything,’” Crouch said. “And when I got to the NFL, that really wasn’t the situation. I was really a quarterback at heart.”

Yahoo Sports goes on to mention that Crouch still gets calls from teams wanting him to get back on the field. UFL not NFL:

To this day, Crouch is still getting calls. The UFL’s Omaha Nighthawks, an expansion franchise that already features ‘Husker legend Ahman Green on its roster and tried out former Ohio State star Maurice Clarett over the weekend, tried to lure Crouch out of retirement a couple months back. Crouch declined, pointing to the fact he’s had eight surgeries from football.

Good for him! It’s not often you hear about people being happy after leaving the Rams…well, other than Kyle Turley, Lovie Smith, Mike Martz, Marc Bulger, Tory Holt, and every one that went to a game last year.

via Yahoo! Sports

We had this really great baseball team in April and now we can’t find it, so we took to Craigslist to see if we can track it down.

Any help locating it would be greatly appreciated.

Click for a larger view. Actual posting is at http://stlouis.craigslist.org/laf/1930411367.html

It had to be something this heavy for Derrick Washington, the stand-out running back, to be mysteriously suspended by Mizzou head coach Gary Pinkel last week. Division I college football coaches generally don’t just “indefinitely suspend” one of their best players for the something like library fines, and sure enough, the rap on Washington is a way worse than library fines…unless you broke in to the library after dark and put your penis in the books without asking, then it would be about the same.

A campus detective’s probable cause statement filed Monday says Washington entered the woman’s closed bedroom while visiting her roommate and allegedly assaulted the woman while she slept.

A July hearing was delayed at the woman’s request and the case appeared dormant after both Washington and the alleged victim failed to show up for the rescheduled hearing. But prosecutors continued to investigate and Washington’s family has hired an attorney.

Good try Derrick by going with the “ignore it and my sexual assault charge will just go away” defense, but it appears Columbia’s prosecuting attorney is a stickler for things like humping sleeping girls. You might have to try out the “don’t you know who I am?!” defense…check in with Dan McLaughlin about his shot with that.

“But when can he get back on the field?” asks the sicko college football fan less worried about the players penis-stabbing girls than about the Big 12 standings:

School policy says that athletes charged with a felony cannot return to the field until the case is resolved. With a Sept. 23 arraignment hearing, Washington will miss the Tigers’ first three games, if not more.

To his credit Gary Pinkel is taking a hard stance on his teams recent “issues”:

“The buck stops here with me,” Pinkel said. “I am embarrassed, and disappointed. Hopefully we can get this cleaned up.”

…and if not, he’ll just bail out to the NFL before any of the penalties get close to him. Pinkel’s going to look great as a Seahawks assistant coach.

via: Rivals.com

Photo Credit: Jeff Lautenberger

The Cardinals lost. Tony hates Rasmus. The team just doesn’t give a crap. Buzz Bissinger’s pissed. Blah blah blah…when will the Cardinals give us something new! Anything?! Please! Just anything!

Last night we got this:

“Happ stymies Cardinals with two-shit shutout”

Telling the world about your game-long battle with the Deluxe Nachos really takes the win out of your use of “stymies”.

In honor of the Cardinals upcoming “Social Media Day” did you know the Cardinals auto-tweet out their headlines? Hell yeah they do!

Go internet!

Soon after the Cardinals faithful had their little laugh at all of this, the headline was updated and the tweet was removed, almost like it never happened. It did though. We have screenshots.

Don’t fire the headline guy Cardinals! He did his very best to take all of our mind off how astonishingly bad this team is for at least a moment.

Our friends at JoeSportsFan.com and KFNS.com just released their expose on the absolute crappiness of the Lambert Airport sports shop “Hometown Favorites”. Summery? Pedro Guerrero is prominently displayed. Pretty much all you need to know to see where this is going.

Its no surprise of course. Airports in general are set in their own little world. A scary world where an 87 year old woman can take down a plane with a pair of safety scissors, a Burger King Whopper with Cheese costs $9.45 and Mark Mulder is still punching out major league hitters rather than sitting at home with a stain on his shirt yelling at his shoulder.

Not only that, but we aren’t talking about just any airport, we are talking about Lambert airport. When the rest of the world’s airports have gone with new LCD monitors and carpet that doesn’t look like my 8th grade trapper-keeper, Lambert says no!”We like big giant blue monitors, and the carpet is an homage to the opening sequence of Saved by the Bell thank you very much! Hey wait! What are all these planes doing here? Why is this one going to some place people want to go to, like Las Vegas?! …oh. It has a 6 hour layover in New York? Ok. That sounds more like the ‘Lambert Way’”.

Full Story @ KFNS.com

Sports Illustrated is counting down all 101 (apparently both 0 and 00 count) jersey numbers and naming the best players to wear that numeral of all time. In the list the Rams snagged five spots, with the majority coming from the LA days. The old skool Cardinals snuck one in there too later on down the list.

#28 Marshall Faulk

A key cog of the Rams’ “Greatest Show On Turf,” Faulk played his last game in 2005, ending a career in which he produced 19,154 combined yards from scrimmage. His 6,875 yards receiving are the most by any running back. #

#29 Eric Dickerson

An electrifying open-field runner, Dickerson ran for an NFL-record 2,105 yards in 1984 and gained 1,800 or more rushing yards in three of his first four seasons. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1999. #

#74 Merlin Olsen

Before he became an actor and commercial pitchman, Olsen terrorized quarterbacks during his 15-year-career with the Rams and played in 14 straight Pro Bowls. #

#75 Deacon Jones (beating out Mean Joe Greene!)

A sack-master before it became cool, the 6-foot-5 defensive end teamed with tackle Merlin Olsen to give the Rams a “Fearsome” left side of the defensive line. #

#85 Jack Youngblood

Hall of Fame defensive end was a seven-time Pro Bowl pick in 14 seasons with the Los Angeles Rams (1971-84). Tough and durable, he played 201 straight games — and all of Super Bowl XIV despite a broken left leg. #

Dan Dierdorf, of the defunct St. Louis Cardinals, was deemed the best #72

The Hall of Fame right tackle anchored the Cardinals line over his 13 years with the club. He played in six Pro Bowls and following his retirement, he became an announcer with ABC and CBS Sports. #

No Kurt Warner didn’t get #13, that went to Dan Marino. Kurt did get “runner up” status though.

One other name you might recognize: Your mom won #69 because she was big enough to be a linebacker and was a total slut. Snap!

It’s been a long road for Stan Kroenke to get finally own the worst team in the NFL, but it looks like he might finally get the team. First there was the sudden claim of the team from Shahid Khan, then the NFL rules he had to dodge about cross-city ownership, and after all that, he had to be all like “Dude. I don’t have the money, but I promise I will have it soon. Be cool. What happened? You used to be cool.”  None of that matters now because the NFL finance committee has unanimously voted in favor of our man Stan.

The NFL’s finance committee has unanimously recommended approval of Stan Kroenke’s Rams purchase bid, the Post-Dispatch has confirmed through several league sources.

The finance committee will make its report and invite discussion Wednesday in Atlanta. At that time, Kroenke can comment or respond to questions as he chooses, and then the vote will take place.

The final vote will happened later today at the NFL owners meeting, but from here it looks to be smooth sailing for Stan Kroenke. Congrats Stan!

By the way, we have some issues with your new purchase: The team sucks, the arena they play in is crap and even with a #1 drafted quarterback, you still can’t put enough butts in the seats to get a home game shown on local TV.

Kroenke’s only issue? St. Louis’ lack of direct flights to L.A.

More:

Stan Kroenke Was All Like POW and Khan Was All Like WHAT?! Over Last Minute Rams Bid

Top 10 Things We Wish Stan Kroenke Would Step in and Buy

Mayor Slay Gets in to the Sports Reporting Business

Kroenke Tries Putting the Rams on Layaway

Sure we ripped on him for much of the week, but Brandon Phillips did somehow manage to stumble his way in to a good thing by stirring up some crazy stuff with his now famous Cardinals rant (Checkout our full coverage here!). That being said, losing your mind in front of a microphone about another baseball club is hardly original though. Its happened more than a few times and a couple of the best where about the one club that’s pretty much a walking target for ripping on…

The Cubs.

Here are two famous rants about the Cubs to take you in to the weekend series with the Cardianls:

#1: Marty Brennaman: “There are balls coming from all over the place!“

The Reds can’t help themselves! Marty Brennaman, the Reds radio broadcaster, takes the fans and the team itself to task after witnessing balls being thrown on to the field en mass at a game.

Best Line: “Far and away, the most obnoxious fans in baseball, in this league, are the ones who follow this team right here.”

#2: Lee Elia: “”85% of the world is working, the other 15% come out here!”

The best Cubs rant comes from none other than their very own manager at the time, Lee Elia. Elia was fed up with the way the Cub faithful were treating his team after an April 29th, 1983 loss to the Dodgers. He decided to use naughty language. A lot.

Best Line: “If they are the real Chicago Cubs fans, they can kiss my f*cking ass right downtown!”

—

Go Cardinals!

Here’s a few quick notes in the aftermath of Brandon Phillips’ testicles finally dropping. Turns out they were behind his vagina.

1. If Phillips’ balls finally made an appearance, they went right back up inside after Yadier Molina got in his face.

2. Brandon Phillips drives the douchiest car imaginable. Naturally.

Not more than a few days ago, Yahoo! Sports dropped this little nugget about how the now famous Brandon Phillips: He drives a big purple expensive douche-mobile!

3. There is reason to cheer for Phillips.

Read the rest of this entry »