According to our sources the St. Louis Cardinals have had internal discussions about trading injured so-so shortstop Brendan Ryan to the New York Yankees for All-Star third baseman Alex Rodriguez.

It is not clear whether the Cardinals have brought this idea to the attention of the Yankees. Even if the Yankees were actually to consider this offer it might be a difficult to one to work out as A-Rod is a good contributor and has recently bonded with the New York fans after reclaiming the World Series title in 2009.

We asked a Cardinals’ official about these internal discussions who responded only with “What?! This is completely stupid…wait, how did you get this number?”

Money could be a possible issue on this deal as Rodriguez makes a staggering $27.5 Million dollars a year, but the issue is side-stepped as the Cardinals’ internal discussions involve the Yankees picking up all of the money owned to Rodriguez for some reason. Also the internal discussions involve the Yankees would deliver muffins to the Cardinals on the completion of the deal.

This news may well echo the recent news of the Phillies internal discussions involving a trade of Ryan Howard to the Cardinals for reigning MVP Albert Pujols.  Speaking of that deal, here’s what Buster Onley, the story’s author, had this today in his blog (ESPN Insider required):

About the Howard/Pujols story the other day: What was written was dead-on.

I did not write that there were ongoing discussions between the two teams.
I did not write that the Cardinals had an inclination to deal Pujols.
I did not write that the Phillies are looking to dump Ryan Howard.

Internal discussions are part of the sport. It’s how the Phillies got to the point that they pursued Mike Lowell and Halladay, in spite of their flat denials. I once wrote a story about their serious interest in Lowell, and club executives shot it down as untrue; an assertion that was, in itself, completely untrue.

Internal discussions are how the Cardinals got to the point that they made a deal last summer for Matt Holliday. Quite frankly, if the Phillies’ executives didn’t have those kinds of conversations, they wouldn’t be doing their jobs.

And as a reporter, when you have confirmed information that the Phillies have discussed internally an avenue through which they might pursue the best player in baseball — and you know exactly who said what to whom, and how sturdy the intent was — that is news.

The only difference was, in this case, that the internal conversations were about two superstars. And while it may be inconvenient to some, it’s credible.

Not only that, but Buster was also a guest on 101 ESPN’s Burwell and Someoneelse show. Don’t get shocked now, but Burwell didn’t exactly ask the important questions as much as verbally fellate Olney over the WXOS airwaves. The “interview” consisted of them bashing everyone for not reading the Olney piece and then Burwell saying that he “feels Olney’s pain.”

Look guys, yes there were those that, for some reason, read Olney’s piece and thought a trade was in the works, but I think they are the minority.  The real question is: How is this even news?  Buster himself even says in his reply

Quite frankly, if the Phillies’ executives didn’t have those kinds of conversations, they wouldn’t be doing their jobs.

And I think we can all agree that probably every MLB team at one point or another, has said internally “How the hell do we get Pujols on his team.”  So once again we ask, how the hell is this news?  We usually like Buster Olney, but later this season, please don’t tell us all about the internal discussions the Phillies have about where to go to lunch.

March has been here a while, but only after last Sunday did college basketball fans really start to feel like its here as the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament is about to begin. This is especially true for our little town as once again we get to host a large chunk of said tournament and according to one CBS analyst, its going to be just like…the Bang Bus pornos?!

For those unfamiliar with the Bang Bus series, here is how Wikipedia describes it:

Each video consists of a typical everywoman who is “picked up on the street,” and is then persuaded to engage in sexual intercourse with men in the back of a van (usually while it’s driving) – the titular Bang Bus. Each storyline usually ends with the woman being dropped off naked, unpaid and in the wrong location, shouting at the men as they drive off laughing. The series is shot primarily in Miami, Florida.

That’s coming to town!? Please be true…please be true…please be true…

Judging by Jim Natz’s reaction, no, its not true.

What the hell was he trying to say there?  …and of all things to say.  I mean, don’t get us wrong, we would love so see a little Bang Bus action in the ‘Lou as much as anyone, but we just don’t exactly equate that particular kind of action with college basketball or St. Louis.  I mean I see that kind of action all the time, but it generally involves a shorter bus with a lift in the back and a lot more screaming than the traditional Bang Bus fare.

Um, no.

That’s the rumor though according to an ESPN article.  Internal discussions in the Phillies front office have centered on pitching a deal that would trade one team’s MVP first baseman for another.

The logic for a Howard for Pujols swap, as discussed within the Phillies’ organization, could fall along these lines: Pujols, 30 years old, is eligible for free agency after the 2011 season, and early conversations about a contract extension have not led to any long-term deal. The expectation within baseball is that Pujols may ask for a deal that would rival, in annual value, the record-setting 10-year, $275 million deal that Alex Rodriguez negotiated with the Yankees in fall 2007.

If the Cardinals were to decide, at any point, that they could not afford to sign Pujols, they could consider dealing him, in the way the Toronto Blue Jays traded Roy Halladay, or the Minnesota Twins traded Johan Santana.

And Howard, who is just a couple of months older than Pujols, would not be a bad alternative. In the past four seasons, Howard has hit 198 homers and accumulated 572 RBIs, and has finished in the top five of the NL MVP race.

Though we would agree if you are trading Pujols, from a PR perspective, getting local product Ryan Howard back would be about as good as it could get, in that there might be a little less rioting at the gates of Busch Stadium, but here’s why this is a horrible idea that the Cardinals will have nothing to do with: Yes, Howard can hit the long ball, but he strikes out far too much which is in sharp contrast to Pujols’ unheard of power and contact pairing.  Defense is another big issue in this.  Yes, Howard has gotten better, but Pujols is arguably the best defensive first baseman in the National League.

Calm down though, at this time the Phillies are denying any such talks (but what are they supposed to say) and there is no evidence that this idea has been in any way floated to the Cardinals.

We do know this though. If you are even a little annoyed that this is non-news is being discussed, I really wouldn’t turn on any sport talk stations tomorrow, because that’s all they are going to be talking about.  We can hear the confused grunts followed by the “I don’t know. This could work…” sounds coming out of D’Marco Farr now and call after call of freaking out red-necks dotted with a few armchair GMs trying to make this deal work.

I think we just talked ourselves out of ever listening to St. Louis radio sports talk ever again.

Here are more St. Louis anagrams, where where mix the letters up and find the results more than a little creepy!

Chris Carpenter……….Sphincter Racer

Yadier Molina……….I Nailed Mayor [Editor's Note: Woah and ewwwww. There's something you can't un-see.]

Albert Pujols……….Jots Bull Rape

Skip Schumaker……….Kicks Ear Humps

David Freese……….If Reds Evade [Editor's Note: I guess Dave's riding the pine when the Reds come to town.]

Brendan Ryan……….Ban Nerd Yarn

Matt Holliday……….Hit Today Mall

Colby Rasmus……….My Crabs Soul [Editor's Note: When you are young and rich, you can get crabs everywhere apparently! ]

Ryan Ludwick……….Run Wild Yack [Editor's Note: Incidentally, that's also his "Indian Name"]

According to Bernie Miklasz, Pujols has told the media and the fans to stop calling him “El Hombre” because of possible disrespect to Cardinal great Stan Musial.

“I don’t want to be called that,”  Pujols said. “There is one man that gets that respect, and that’s Stan Musial. He’s the Man. He’s the Man in St. Louis. And I know ‘El Hombre’ means ‘The Man’ in Spanish. But Stan is The Man. You can call me whatever else you want, but just don’t call me El Hombre.”

See the think about nicknames are, if you give one to yourself, its usually lame and is thus ignored.  You have to be given a nickname, and then when you do get one, you really can’t say “stop calling me that”. Doesn’t work that way.  It wasn’t yours to create, and you can’t take it away.

We aren’t saying we think Pujols is being mean or unjustified to ask, although we don’t see it as disrespectful to Musial, but it just doesn’t work that way…yes, even if you are Albert Pujols.

Maybe this will do it though, maybe people will stop calling him that.  Probably not though.  I know when I was in my younger days I had a nickname and I didn’t want to be called, so I politely asked that they quit it. My request fell on dead ears though and thats how I found out that some tattoo parlors will actually give a tattoo to someone that clearly doesn’t want it and how expensive laser removal is.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with our state senators?!  First they hate on poor defenseless nudie bars, then they try to strong arm the zoo, and now…well they are kicking a man while he’s down.

A Missouri state senator is trying to remove Mark McGwire’sname from a five mile stretch of Interstate 70 that runs through St. Louis. It’s the same lawmaker who pushed for the road to be renamed in honor of McGwire after his 1998 home run fueled season.

State Senator Ryan McKenna says that it’s now inappropriate in light of McGwire’s steroid admission.

Ok, so McGwire was taking the roids while we all collectively gave him a fan-job. Yeah, thats bad. But you know what? At the time he was basically a god and all we did was take a little stretch of a highway in the ugliest part of downtown and basically fake named it.  Yes, fake named it.  Its not really the Mark McGwire highway, its just highway 70…with a sign over it.

And now Senator McKenna wants to take the sign away.  Probably just so he can look cool and win the next election to state senate…you know because of all the power he wields.

That’s all.  He’s not “un-naming” anything, he just wants a sign taken down.  At this point, who gives a crap?  The dude knows he screwed up, and at this point who cares about a sign on the north part of downtown.  No one seems to care about the other ones there, like “Please don’t shoot other people.” or “It would be great if you would take a dump on the street homeless guys.”

We know its probably unpopular decision, but we at Punching Kitty say Don’t Take McGwire’s Sign!

Who’s with us?!

via KSDK

Wentzville High grad, 6th pick in the draft a few years ago and current Washington National’s starting pitcher Ross Detwiler is out for three months after undergoing surgery to repair torn right hip cartilage.

No word yet if the wound was self-inflicted when he realized he had to go back to Spring Training for the Nationals.

via ESPN

The Rams suck.  You know it.  We know it. The Rams themselves?  Eh. Not so much.

Marshall Faulk knows it though. Faulk expressed his feelings in the Sporting News:

“[The Rams have] earned the No. 32 spot (the last spot in the league).  It’s well-deserved.  The Rams are more worried about firing their trainer and equipment manager than they are worried about the coaches responsible for the play on the field.  That says a lot.  When the first offseason move you make is to fire your trainer?  Perfect.”

The Rams first move this offseason was to fire the long-time and well-liked trainer Jim Anderson.  It is just another step in the checklist that Rams’ coach Steve Spagnuolo and GM Billy Devaney have to scrub everything and everyone in Rams Park that was around before them.  Other steps included taking down photos of the Greatest Show on Turf teams and failing to invite any player alums to help the coaching staff.

Needless to say, this has rubbed former Ram greats that hate seeing their team going 1-15 the wrong way.

To quiet of the complaints, Spagnuolo has announced that he is creating a “Pro Bowl Wall” at Rams Park to celebrate current and former Rams that have made the Pro Bowl, which by the way is the weakest of all All-Star games and is such an honor that half the team drops out of the game every season.

We also hear that right next to the Pro Bowl Wall will be Spagnuolo’s new Turd Polishing machine.

via NBCSports.com

Bryan Burwell wants you to leave professional athletes alone!  Why?  Because you “fans” are all horrible people! …I mean not all of you, but enough that he feels its ok to blame us all for the bad ones.

I have to laugh when I listen to or read the voice of the outraged fan who now believes that he is entitled to more out of Woods than he has already given. Entitlement doesn’t look good on anyone, and the truth is, too many fans are just as guilty nowadays as the players they often scold for the same behavior.

In Jupiter all week, I have witnessed it firsthand. I have watched impatient fans lining up behind the parking lot gates every morning and afternoon. Most of them are well-mannered and grateful to get an autograph, a photograph or even a handshake. But there are others who are not so nice.

They scream at the players, they scream at the manager. From behind the chain-link fences that ring the practice fields, they jockey for position with all the decorum of a rugby scrum.

So we should give a pass to athletes that are horrible people just because other people are horrible too?  That’s akin to saying “Well yeah the guy murdered 15 infants, but he’s not the first!  …get out of here you little scamp!  Are you free to babysit this weekend?”

We wanted more on this issue, so we prodded Burwell and in turn he sent us this video clip to further his case:

We’re not sure that helped.

via STLToday

We’re starting to think Google, as a company, are Cubs fans: