Remember forever ago when a script for those sissy vampire movies “New Moon” and whatever the next one is was found in a Loop dumpster behind some salon?  Well, that happened.  Trust me.  The next part is that the salon owner found it and did the nice thing by giving it back to the studio.  The studio was so happy it gave her tickets to both movie premieres, and the salon owner was so greatful that she went to one that then decided to sell the other ticket on e-bay. The studio was all like “nu-uh bitch!” and made her pull the auction down and then she tried to sell them privately, but the studio again put the smack down on the sale with an ultimatum.  The owner, St. Louisian Casey Ray, says she has every right to sell the tickets and is now suing the studio.

Summit then issued an ultimatum, saying Ray can transfer the tickets to the premiere and after-party for “Remember Me” but if she does, Summit will no longer provide Ray with the autographed scripts for “New Moon” and “Remember Me,” as provided under their agreement, according to the lawsuit.

God, just rip the damn things up.  It really can’t be worth this much trouble can it?  Either way, its done now and her lawyer is sure enjoying the spotlight.

“Casey Ray is a country girl raised in rural Missouri. She did the honorable thing by returning the scripts to Summit Entertainment LLC and is now faced with the prospect of her good deed not going unpunished,” said Ray’s attorney, Albert Watkins. “Ray may be a hairdresser from the Midwest, but she is not a sap. She entered into an agreement with Summit Entertainment, LLC; she has lived up to her end of the bargain, and it appears Summit Entertainment, LLC is itching for a fight on Ray’s home turf. If that’s what Summit wants, Ray is willing to take it to the mat. She eats hay and can pull a wagon, don’t underestimate her.”

A country girl raised in rural Missouri that is no sap but eats hay and pulls wagons?  Really?!

Ray’s lawyer pushed the point further down our throats by saying:

“Sure Casey is barely literate and lives in a town where most people can’t wipe their ass but know enough to get three different kinds of herpes…but she’s tough.  Oh and we know she looks like the before side of a Brenda Warner photo split, but that doesn’t mean you can just take this country bumpkin to the cleaners. Especially since she never cleans her clothes!  Just the three pairs of jorts with crotch sweat stains so deep you can barely tell the demin is acid wash down there.. …also she’s stupid and has cooties. I need a new job.”

Woah! Don’t mess with that sliver  tongued bastard in court! Guy’s like Matlock and Perry Mason rolled in to one…you know, if they clearly hated their clients.

via St. Louis Business Journal

In a move that can only described as the greatest attempt ever to collect as many douche bags in one room at the same time, St. Louis’ Club15 is footing the bill to bring Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, the most infamous cast member of MTV’s reality show “Jersey Shore” in to St. Louis.

[Editor's Note: If you haven't seen any of Jersey Shore, put down your book Milhouse and watch this little clip to catch up.]

Club15, the restaurant/club fronted by former Cardinal slugger Jim Edmunds, is already known for its nightly collection of jersey chasers and St. Louis “Situations” has decided to hire Sorrentino to “host” on January 23rd.  By that we mean, he will show up late, take his shirt off 5 minutes in to the appearance, get drunk and then leave because “fools be trippin’” around 12am only to go a little too far north and end up being some crack dealer’s bitch for the night because it turns out pointing to your abs constantly only intimidates other douche bags, not drug dealer with guns.

Shortly after being released from the hospital, Sorrentino will still go right back to pointing at his abdomen, but hence forth his nickname will be “The Colostomy Bag”

Found on Facebook by one of readers, here is a whole gallery of photos from the Vital Voice relaunch party last week.

Here are our favorites:

We love it!

Rams running back Steven Jackson tweeted out his love for “Ernest Saves Christmas” while hanging out at teammate Mike Karney’s house last night:

Do we love this so much because we can’t think of a better celebrity pairing than Steven Jackson and the late Jim Varney, or just because its nice to know SJ39 can take a moment and forget what team he plays for?

Answer: Both.

It’s ok, I couldn’t remember what a Blockbuster was either.  Thank god for wikipedia right?

Anyway, if you are either a 15 year old girl or a guy with a big, window-less van and a creepy mustache, you should totally head over to the Blockbuster Video in Creve Coeur at 11600 Olive Blvd tomorrow at 6p because there’s going to be  a New Moon party and we hear its going to be one of the biggest crowds in recent years at a Blockbuster.  We’re talking 10 maybe 12 people.  Crrraaaazzzzyyy!

Also, if you are one of the first 125 people through the door, you get a free pass to the New Moon  screening on November 19th!  Which now that I dropped that joke above about only 12 people going, someone looks like an ass don’t they?  Not sure if its me for being a dick or them for over estimating the number of people that can actually find the willpower to go to a Blockbuster though.  You’d think I’d go up and just delete that joke, but thats not how I roll.  Stream of consciousness baby!

Now the dilemma begins in the heads of the PR people of St. Louis…

“Well, he did mention it, but he also killed it because no one goes to Blockbusters.”

“I mean he’s right though.”

“We’ll yeah he’s right, but still.”

“Do we send him more of these?”

“Is all press really good press?!”

You also might be wondering “Why is there a picture of Kristen Bell at the top of this post?”

Because that chick in New Moon is unattractive.

There you go, simple answer.

From The Riverfront Times blog DailyRFT about the recently St. Louis-filmed George Clooney flick:

The first local press screening of the Jason Reitman/George Clooney film Up In the Air – perhaps the most eagerly anticipated movie in St. Louis since that flick about the World’s Fair — happened this morning at the Tivoli in the Delmar Loop.

While we’ve been asked by the PR company to withhold any reviews or features until the theatrical release in December, it can’t hurt to share a few first impressions with you, loyal Daily RFT readers.

They go on to say that you really don’t see much of St. Louis in the movie, which isn’t much of a surprise.  They just filmed it here, the damn thing isn’t supposed to be based in St. Louis.  They also say that the movie is funny and George Clooney is sexy.

I know, these are all totally shocking statements.

It doesn’t really matter because we at Punching Kitty are totally over this movie now and are gaga for the new(er) George Clooney movie: The Fantastic Mr. Fox!

It has nothing to do with St. Louis at all, but it looks awesome!  The trailer is embedded below.  We do with there was at least one kitty in the movie though.

Halloween is only a few days away and if you are like most people, not only do you not have a costume yet, but I just reminded you of that and you went “Crap!” and now everyone around you at work thinks you screwed something important up or got fired via email and really want to ask you “What?” but are worried that you might drag them in to the problem if they do.

Anyway its cool duderson!  We have some ideas!

First off we should say that these ideas are really just for the fellas.  Why?  Because girls have it easy on Halloween!  You’re choices this year, as they are every year, are as follows:

1. Sexy Kitty (Give yourself  black eye and be a punched kitty!)

2. Sexy Superhero

3. Sexy Playboy Bunny

4. Sexy Devil

5. Sexy School girl

That’s settled.  Now for the guys:

1. Dave Duncan

This is an easy one.  Get a grey wig  or that grey hair spray, throw on a jersey (bonus points if you actually have a Duncan jersey) and then bitch all night about how everyone hates you and your son just because he can’t hit a ball if his life depended on it.  Also, if you see a guy dressed as Anthony Reyes, kick him in the balls.

2.  Jack Buck’s House

Wear all black, put soot on your face and hold the burn edge of an old baseball card all night.

3.  The Rams

Just don’t show up to the party.

4. John Abule

Any ole zombie costume will do just fine for this.

5. Mayor Slay

Spend tons of money to make sure you win the costume contest even though the people  you are running against have no chance anyway, and then when you when, take the costume off and don’t really do much until the next costume.

So there you go, super easy costumes with a St. Louis vibe!

Be sure to send in photos of you in these or any other costume when you are out this halloween, and that goes double for the ladies.  In fact, send photos of you in your sexy kitty costume and we’ll pick the best one to be in our header for a while!

You guys: “What a great idea you just had.”

Me: “Thanks, I know.”

Punching Kitty grabbed the camera and followed the brewery smell to Benton Park and the Blues City Deli’s street festival.

It was packed and a good time seemed to be had by all!  Check out the video we put together below of some of the photos.

Its October, the MLB playoffs are  here and the Cardinals are back in them since their World Series winner in 2006, but if you are the one Cardinal fan in St. Louis that doesn’t have cable, any friends or know where a bar is, you are out of luck!

Don’t worry though, St. Louis Post Dispatch sport media columnist, Dan Ceasar has your back!

None of the Cardinals’ playoff games against National League foes will be on a “free-TV”‘ station. They wouldn’t appear over-the-air until the World Series.

The last time the Cards were in the playoffs, 2006, a local over-the-air station was allowed to simulcast the cablecasts in the markets of the competing teams. But Turner gained exclusive rights in 2007 and over-the-air coverage now is limited to one league championship series — this season the American League — and the World Series. Both will be on Fox (KTVI, Channel 2 locally).

Is the fact that all the Cardinal playoff games going to be on cable a perfect option?  No, of course not.  But does it effect that many people?  Also, no.

If you are “that one guy” think of this:  Sure its a pain for you to track down a TV because you are a friendless bastard, but on the plus side the mere thought of KSDK broadcasting another game this season makes my skin crawl.  Face it, the local options are going away because they suck.  If they didn’t suck, they would make more money and be able to have a shot at continuing to broadcasting them.  This is not to say we don’t have problems with TBS or Fox.  TBS always seems to drop trou, squat down, and crap out a big lump of TV no one wants to watch just before the playoffs so that they can beat us over the head with it during every commercial break.  Hey TBS, you didn’t get us to watch “Frank TV”, and we sure the hell won’t want to watch “George Lopez Late Night” either so give us a damn break!

I got off track.  Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Get a friend or a better job you only no-cable having agoraphobe!

via Dan Ceasar on STLToday

Nevermind all the local news stories where the reporter wondered out loud of how the reception for Kanye West would be when he came to town, as if people actually buy tickets to throw tomatoes at the act.  The “Fame Kills” tour has been canceled, and that includes it’s St. Louis date.

Of course West has been in the news lately because of his rude actions toward cute little Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Because I haven’t posted a YouTube Click in a while, here’s what Hitler thought of the VMA outcome:

Via AP, who doesn’t want a link so I won’t give it to them.