Looks like Hoopz didn’t get a ring in St. Louis after all!

The site GossipCop.com got what we couldn’t: A response from Shaq’s people about his possible engagement in St. Louis a few weekends ago (“Shaq Proposed to His Girlfriend in St. Louis“):

Gossip Cop reached out to O’Neal’s rep, who told us the engagement rumors are “not accurate.”

Repeat: He is not engaged.

When asked for a comment, the Post-Dispatch writer noted that she “did not say he’s engaged,” but simply shared what the restaurant owner thought he witnessed. She also acknowledged she didn’t reach out to O’Neal’s rep to fact-check David’s claim.

We’re calling a foul on this one.

Dammit. Yeah, we’ll take this one for following Peterson’s lead.

Here’s one thing from our original story we’re sticking to, no matter how many agents GossipCop calls:

Word is that after Shaq and Hoopz’ magical wedding night is all just a stain, ‘Flav has plans to live in the newly hollowed out part of Hoopz. It will be like Webster hiding in that dumbwaiter. So cute!

Honestly, we just wanted to post the picture of Hoopz again…

KSDK.com’s little sister site MomsLikeMe.com recently took a look back with some old photos from the KSDK staff’s past.

Some are quite cute, like little Kay Quinn in her Hawaiian outfit:

Awww.

Next up? Art Holliday, the target of all spilled affection on the Art Holliday Facebook Fan Club. We had no idea he was a Little Rascal.

Next up? Sports guy turned anchor Mike Bush! A few things to note in this picture: 1. His hair wasn’t always varnished down like that! 2. It appears Mike was staring in the gay porn version of Gilligan’s Island when this photo was taken.

…oh speaking of hard-core 70′s pornography here’s Punching Kitty’s favorite reporter that just tries so hard you just want to pinch her cheeks, Leisa Zigman!

Hey baby. We noticed you noticing us noticing that you aren’t wearing a bra. Call us!

Lastly, just so we don’t leave you with a confused Leisa Zigman chubby, here’s Jennifer Blome‘s creepy eyes peering in to your soul. She knows all about you and those eyes see everything. Even when you poop.

Enjoy the news tonight!

via MomsLikeMe.com

We’re a little late to the party on this one, but according to the Post Dispatch‘s Deb “Every Once in a While I Write Something Interesting” Peterson, Shaq, after being in town for Pujols’ charity kegger (Crazy night! Right Danny Mac?!) he proposed to his girlfriend right here in old St. Louis!

After leaving the mother of your children and wife of seven years though, you can’t date and marry just anyone. You’re Shaq for christ sakes! What you need is a skanky chick that used to slobber over a crusty older celebrity…like maybe Flavor-Flav. For reals. Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander, known for being the winner of VH1′s “Flavor of Love,” has been dating Shaq for “a few months” now.  The old and new boyfriends are on good terms though. Word is that after Shaq and Hoopz’ magical wedding night is all just a stain, ‘Flav has plans to live in the newly hollowed out part of Hoopz. It will be like Webster hiding in that dumbwaiter. So cute!

Who knows why Shaq picked the time and place he did for his proposal, but there must have been magic in the air last weekend at the “Sahara Mediterrnean Cuisine and Hooka Lounge” in Bridgeton.

Owner Sam David said he and his wife, Majdolin David, were about to close up when the unmistakable Shaq showed up with a party of four – three women and another man.

“I think he may have proposed to his girlfriend,” Sam David said today. “He brought a chair into the middle of the dance floor and he put a ring on her finger.”

Good sleuthing. By the way, this is why people hate reading Peterson, who cares the name of the wife of the guy that owns the Sahara Lounge? It adds nothing to the story. There’s absolutely zero point in adding things like that. Just stick to the freaking point and know when your story is over!

Also, no news yet on my E-Harmony reinstatement. Apparently my posts about cutting “fatty” in to my arm every time I’m rejected is too real for Community Relations Director Sarah Littleton.

Well great. How are we supposed to get amazing AA-list celebrities to come to St. Louis now without the Ameristar Casino’s HOME nightclub?! The club announced Sunday it has closed its doors, taking with it the chance to see HOME veterans again like Paris Hilton, Danny Masterson, Kim Kardashion and, talent oozing from every pore, Wilber Valderama…oh god…that’s not talent is it? I think that’s infection left over from Lindsay Lohan. Gross.

Though the press release, sent to a few media outlets on Sunday afternoon, has yet to appear on the Ameristar Press Release page (Update: Its up now. Link.), the Riverfront Times quoted this chunk:

Ameristar Casinos, Inc. has closed HOME Nightclub at Ameristar Casino Resort Spa St. Charles. The venue’s last night of operation was Aug. 22. Ameristar Sr. Vice President and General Manager Jim Franke said that while HOME had met Ameristar’s standards of quality and excellence in becoming one of St. Louis’ premiere nightclubs, the venue was unable to sustain profitability. “We want to thank our guests and appreciated their patronage and loyalty in making HOME one of the top nightclubs not only in the St. Louis area, but throughout the Midwest region,” Franke said. There are no immediate plans to physically change the HOME venue. Franke said Ameristar will continue to use the facility as an exciting high-energy venue for the property’s group sales business. Despite changes to improve the financial performance of HOME – including programming and scheduling formats – the venue was unable to achieve successful financial results, Franke said.

If you can’t turn a profit with $13 vodka tonics, we aren’t sure what else can help you.

The real losers in all of this news are the Jersey Shore kids. They lost one of only a few places that would bring them in to “host” a party. All they have left now is InsideSTL events at Fifteen.

Click through the jump to see photos of the HOME hall of fame.

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From the moment we posted about Dan McLaughlin this morning, we’ve been hearing report after report from all over about how lots and lots of people don’t like old “Danny Mac”. Lots of people are, dare we say, happy about this little traffic stop and following mug shot.

…and then we got this thrown our way:

The fact that someone took the time to make and circulate this says a lot. Also of note is that we still can’t look at that mugshot without giggling.

We’ve never talked with him, and have no official idea if he’s a douche, but damn if the evidence isn’t overwhelming. If anyone would like to share (anonymously of course) why people hate him, we’re all ears: tips@punchingkitty.com or 314-266-TIPS

Should be a fun Cardinals broadcast on Fox Sports Midwest tonight!

More:
Dan McLaughlin Gets Busted For Drinky Drinky Drivey Drivey
There is Already a Fake Dan McLaughlin Twitter Account

Update: We’ve been told by the (fake) man himself, this Twitter account has been around since April. It’s just upping the game with the recent news.

The internet works fast and it means business. (Fake) Dan McLaughlin has a Twitter account.

via twitter.com/FakeDanMclaughl

Update: Now with 100% more awesome mugshot action!

Yeah, he looked really sober. Probably not guilty. He looks like Jack Nicholson’s drunk chubby little brother. You see the key to looking sober is to cross your eyes and give the camera a creepy sly smile. This may be the greatest St. Louis mugshot since Ozzy Osbourne.

Original post below…

Dan McLaughlin, Cardinals TV broadcaster on Fox Sports Midwest, was pulled over and arrested on suspicion of drunk driving Monday night after refusing to submit to a breathalyzer test.

The officer suspected McLaughlin had been drinking and requested McLaughlin take a breathalyzer test. McLaughlin refused and was arrested, [Chesterfield police Lt. Steve] Lewis said. He was taken to Chesterfield police headquarters for booking and later released. Lewis said he was unsure how long McLaughlin was in custody. It was unclear if McLaughlin had been charged.

McLaughlin, who last year was anointed the “chattiest” baseball announcer by the Wall Street Journal, was probably totally pissed off at work the next day. I bet that was weird. Fat guys are supposed to be all jolly and stuff right?

McLaughlin filed and won his petition to keep his license while the case was pending. His hearing is set for October 6th, which is nice since fellow Cardinal broadcaster Mike Shannon has his standing monthly drinking and driving hearing on the same day.

via STLToday

The Cardinals had the day off yesterday which worked out well since the annual charity golf tournament put on by the Pujols Foundation was yesterday and putting out a “sorry everyone is at work” would have made for a lame “celebrity” golf game over at the swank St. Alben’s course.

In attendance were Shaq, Tony LaRussa’s good buddy, Bob Knight, Bo Jackson, Ozzie Smith,  Mark McGwire and of course all the usual Cardinal teammates. …which includes Ryan Franklin (below).

No the Cardinal closer isn’t standing behind the South County hoosier, that’s him, front and center.

We aren’t yet sure how long he had to stand still like that to get the bees to make a hive of that size on his chin.

via @MatthewHLeach on Twitter

In the last 48 hours St. Louis’ two Apple Stores have been the location of celebrity sightings! No, we aren’t talking St. Louis celebrities like Mike Bush or that shirtless guy that always sits in front of you at Cardinal games (you know the one), nor are we talking about celebrities from St. Louis. Real celebrities that I guess got lost or something.

Just yesterday at the West County Apple Store, Edin Gali, of Mad Men fame, stopped by to make a purchase. Apparently the closest Apple Store to Gali’s Bosnian home is St. Louis, which doesn’t seem right. Update: It’s not! Gali moved to St. Louis as a teenager and apparently was simply visiting home. Hat tip to our commenter Kim below.

Taking it back a day to late Sunday afternoon, the Galleria Apple store was visited by none other than Viggo Mortensen, the…hobbit? or tall hobbit? Ok, we don’t know Lord of the Rings, but he was in that right? … Oh wait! Eastern Promises! He was definitely in that. Our sources say Morensen’s ex-wife lives in the area, and while visiting, he needed a Genius Bar fix.

Thanks for visiting fellas! Come back again…there’s more to see than Apple Stores here. Also, we have some one mug you if you’d like. It’s kind of a tradition around here.

It was almost a year ago when we noticed that some broad from one of those “We’re teenagers so every little stupid thing in my life is super important and sad” shows is from St. Louis, see: Some Piece From Gossip Girl is From St. Louis

Her name is Taylor Momsen and we revisit her again today because this chick is a freak yo!  …maybe that’s why, in a city that pokes everyone with their boner for every little celeb from here, (Oh Sheryl Crow! *poke* John Goodman! *poke* Ike Turner *poke*…ok, maybe not that last one.) never seems to make much of a fuss over her.

Here are a few quotes from St. Louis’ little forgotten princess:

“I’m not looking to be Miley fucking Cyrus. I don’t care about the fame. I do it because I love music. I like making records and if people like them, then we’ll go along for the ride. I’m not dissing Miley personally. However, I do think the Disney bubblegum shit that the world is living right now is pathetic. I thought we passed that repression. I don’t know Miley, but musically we’re different. To compare us because of our age is silly. People will be surprised by the record. I mean, it’s a rock record. I get that there is this blonde thing from Gossip Girl and they’re expecting pop shit, but it’s a rock band and its heavy. Our record is a life record. It confronts everything head on. It’s death, love, drugs, sex, religion, politics.”

That was her living for the music and not the fame, and talking to FHM UK. What a little Courtney Love!

Taylor has also confessed her best friend is her “pocket rocket” because she is bored with men. She’s 17 right now. This was a year ago. Then she later “clarified” her vibrator comment via a tweet to Perez Hilton: “its a vibrator not a dildo..big difference.”

Most recently, Taylor revealed that a track on her new album Going Down was in reference as to the goings on of the Catholic Church molestation scandals. She went on to say:

I was raised Catholic. I fucked a priest once – I’m just kidding.

Wow. That’s…that’s…she wouldn’t want a job writing for Punching Kitty would she? Call us!

Click through the jump to see a photo gallery of her looking like Courtney Love sometimes and then other times looking nice.

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