Its all over the blogs.  That fake weed K2 has been banned in St. Charles apparently because for a second there, a child enjoyed himself in St. Charles and that crap just can’t keep happening.

Besides the fact that the poor emo kids that are too pussy to buy real weed are now really sad and won’t stop watching their Twilight DVD, something else amazing happened! Channel 4, KMOV, learned a little bit about how America works.  Good for them.

“K2 ban means less business for St. Charles store owner“

Tabbat’s store [the South 94 Bait and Tackle Trading shop] sells fishing tackle and smoking supplies, but business was slow until K2 came along. The owner admits there were days when her sales reached $7,000.

Now Tabbat’s customers are going to St. Louis County to buy K2, which means she will have to make job cuts. “The sad thing is I had hired three people, said Tabbat. “Now, I am going to have to lay them off.”

Oh. So making something illegal makes things tough on people trying to sell it legally huh?  I had no idea. That is so strange. How did all those bars make do during the prohibition?

….

According to Wikipedia, not well.

St. Louis has another casino.  Let me guess, its name has “arch”, “gateway” or “river” in it.

The [River City] casino opened after a parade and ceremonies where St. Louis Cardinals’ baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith pulled a lever on an oversized slot machine to officially open the doors. The 90,000 square foot casino game floor features more than 2,000 slot machines and 55 table games.

The odd thing with non-Las Vegas casinos is that they are pretty much old folks home that serve drinks to young people at night.  Come to think of it, even the Vegas casinos are kinda like that, but they are so crazy you can’t tell as much.

Think I’m wrong?  The grand opening of a casino was at 2pm on a Thursday.

2:00pm in the middle of a work day.

Yeah, I bet all kinds of young people and businessmen came flocking out for that ribbon cutting.

Not only that, but I bet like all casinos, they keep it cold as hell in there…kinda like they are trying to perserve something…a casino like this in Lemay, Missouri might as well just cut the crap and start pumping in formaldehyde in through the vents.

via Globe Democrat

I don’t want to shock any of you, but apparently we are going through some kind of economic depression.  Its been a bit of a secret, but apparently it is hitting the city of St. Louis.  Get ready for the budget cuts! What are we talking about?  City Hall jobs could be cut, less trash pick up, down to once a week, and even possibly losing the Forest Park Rangers!

People living in St. Louis city are bracing for the budget ax to fall. the board of aldermen are looking for ways to cut millions of dollars from the city budget.

Mayor Slay’s spokesperson, Jeff Rainford, says it’s the city’s pension plan that’s causing the massive shortfall. He sys police, fire and many city workers have pensions that are virtually guaranteed.

Some of the proposed solutions for St. Louis’ money woes:

10. Over/under pools on number of murders in the city from month to month.

9. “St. Louis City Police: We’re Officially Cool With Bribes Now!”

8. Every bridge to Illinois now has a toll.

7. What kid wouldn’t want to have Mayor Slay appear at their birthday party?!

6. “Well, exactly how on fire is your house?  Gas ain’t cheap lady!”

5. Do you ever wonder what happens to all the coins people throw in the fountains around the city?  Stop wondering.

4. The mayor will take a substantial pay cut. Well, lets not go crazy!

3. Hey Matt Holliday!  Wanna buy Wellston?

2. The new VP Fair: The Spin Doctors. On every stage.  Every night.

1. Once their check clears on the Arch, Cincinnati Ohio will be the new gateway to the west!

via KTVI

When it rains it pours.  It wasn’t long ago that the Eureka Days Inn was rated the second worst hotel in the country, and now they are getting sued by Six Flags.

The amusement park said the hotel uses deceptive advertising to promote itself as having an association with Six Flags. Six Flags is seeking both injunctive and monetary relief.

“Six Flags has never authorized the use of the Six Flags mark and the facility has no association, sponsorship, affiliation or any other connection with Six Flags,” the theme park said in a statement.

Damn, how did they even find out about this little crappy hotel?

“The story [about that Days Inn new dubious ranking] brought to our attention the unapproved and illegal use of our name by this hotel,” said Elizabeth Gotway, a spokeswoman for Six Flags. “We gave the hotel an opportunity to remove the name but it didn’t do so in a timely manner.”

So I guess all press isn’t good press after all.

In a related story I’ve recently found out that not all fat girls actually need lovin’ too.  Some of them get real upset when you motor-boat them while waiting for the self checkout lane in Schnucks.

via St. Louis Business Journal

From the Globe Democrat:

Despite recent tensions between the U.S. and China, the governor warmly received China’s ambassador to the U.S. at a discussion of a trade partnership marked by little tangible progress.

The two officials are looking to make Lambert Airport in St. Louis the Midwestern hub of air cargo transport between China and the U.S., but did not provide specifics or expand upon previous announcements.

So you’re saying there’s a good chance I might be able to get a straight flight from St. Louis to China, but I have to make two layovers to get to New York?

According to St. Louis Public Radio KWMU some crazy rich guys is playing sport with a sack full of money and the Science Center a la “Brewster’s Millions” or “The Most Dangerous Game”

The St. Louis Science Center has launched an end-of-the-year fund-raising push in order to secure $500,000 from a long-time supporter.

The museum must raise the same amount by December 31st. Science Center president Doug King says the museum has received similar challenge grants in the past, but they have been limited to specific projects.

…its a little more of the former than the later, but we don’t have the whole story so we’ll never know!

It may sound like a lot of money to raise before the end of the year, but if movies have taught me anything I know the following things can’t fail:

- Benefit concert. (Wayne’s World 2)

- Dance recital. (Honey, Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo)

- Catalina Wine Mixer (Step Brothers)

- Despite my lack of smoothness with the ladies I will eventually win over the sexy girl that has never noticed me until senior year by some completely out of character act of heroism. (Pretty much every movie ever)

The first three are for you Science Center, the last one’s all mine.

“Its all thanks to North Face.”

“When they tried to take me to court, it was like the best Christmas present ever.”

oh and…

“I really don’t know [why the North Face is trying to sue me].  I don’t see any similarities between the two companies.”

Those are the words from Mizzou student and owner of the now famous parody brand “The South Butt”.

Jimmy Winkelmann [Editor's Note: Great freaking name! Seriously.] was recently interviewed by KSDK and came off calm, cool (totally rad?), and more than a little innocent as to trademark law.  (View the interview after the jump)

Will Jimmy lose this case?

From our research…probably.  Here’s what we found pertaining to copyright law and parody logos (Publaw.com):

Since copyright law prohibits the substantial use of a copyrighted work without permission of the copyright owner, and because such permission is highly unlikely when the use is to create a parody, it may be necessary for the parodist to rely on the fair-use defense to forestall any liability for copyright infringement. However, the fair-use defense if successful will only be successful when the newly created work that purports itself to be parody is a valid parody.

Although not every commercial use is presumptively an unfair use, and therefore conclusively determinative against fair use, this criterion emphasizes a preference that fair use will be granted to those works that are created for noncommercial or educational purposes rather than for commercial purposes.

The burden of proving fair use is usually much easier to demonstrate if the new work is for one of the “favored” purposes: criticism, comment, scholarship, research, news reporting or teaching

Winkelmann’s only hope is 2 Live Crew.  Yes 2 Live Crew’s case with Roy Orbison about the “parody” song “Pretty Woman”.  After going to the Supreme Court, 2 Live Crew’s version that they release and sold, was found to be a parody and thus protected, because they were found to be making a criticism of the original song.

There Jimmy Winkelmann, is your legal safe house.  Go there now.

You can get your own South Butt gear, while you can, at thesouthbutt.com

Oh and for the record, we think all of this is freaking hilarious.

Read the rest of this entry »

After a year filled with layoffs, more layoffs and finally laying off that guy that everyone thought was totally going to be the first one to get canned but somehow making it until the third round, the GM plant in Wentzville, MO rolled out the 2 Millionth “full sized van” yesterday marking another time in history that no one will care about ever.

At about 3:30 p.m., the 2 millionth full size van rolled off the assembly line here at the GM plant.

It is being considered quite an accomplishment, considering that GM laid off about half of its workforce earlier this year. Mayor Paul Lambi and members of the Wentzville Chamber of Commerce were on site to mark the occasion.

Soon that van, like shown above, will be out doing one of the many jobs vans like this do in our society like being adorned with poorly thought out logos for plumbers, storing recently picked up kids for future pedophile-type activities, or carting your giant fertilizer bombs around.  A proud day indeed.

via KSDK

Did I just hear an advertisement for gin on the Bonneville (read: Mormon) owned 101 ESPN?  Gin?!  Are times really that tough, or did St. Louis try to slip one past the bishop?

…no, not that one.  The Mormon Bishop.

Every time a St. Louis has a hit on its hands, it gets knocked down on the national scene, like Imo’s or Ike Turner.

Take for instance Mister Squiggles.  Every Christmas season needs an “it” toy and every year, some bastards try to take it down.  Why you gotta hate?

The maker of Zhu Zhu Pets, one of the hottest-selling toys of the holiday season, defended its product after a consumer Web site said one of the robotic hamsters carries high amounts of a dangerous chemical.

Mister Squiggles, the light-brown version of the hamsters, has unsafe levels of antimony, said Dara O’Rourke, co-founder of GoodGuide.

Oh and its just the brown one that’s causing trouble huh?  Figures you would say that you racist motherf…

“All our products are subjected to several levels of rigorous safety testing conducted by our own internal teams, as well as the world’s leading independent quality assurance testing organization, and also by independent labs engaged by our retail partners,” Russ Hornsby, CEO of [the St. Louis, Missouri-based toy manufacturer] Cepia, said in a written statement. “The results of every test prove that our products are in compliance with all government and industry safety standards.”

Although antimony has its uses, it is toxic and is allowable up to 60 parts per million, but a study found that our little friend here has 93 to 100 parts per million.  In small doses, antimony can cause headache, dizziness, and depression, but with larger doses stronger symptoms such as violent and frequent vomiting and possibly death.  Which all makes sense that this is from St. Louis, seeing as that is exactly how I feel when watching a Rams game.

via STLMedia