An Illinois man threw himself from the passenger side of a moving car in the middle of an argument with his girlfriend the other day. She must have been really nagging the hell of out him! Right?! High five dudes! You know how broads are! Yeah! Whooo! *chest bump*
According to police, the man was having a verbal dispute with his girlfriend while the couple was driving down Route 4 just after 1 pm. The victim was reportedly in the passenger seat.
Witnesses tell police that while the car was traveling 50 miles per hour, the man opened the passenger side door and appeared to throw himself from the vehicle.
It is believed that the man intentionally jumped from the car, choosing smashing his head on the concrete at 50 mph over staying in the car, finishing their fight and leaving his skull intact. He’s in serious condition but surviving, the relationship seems DOA.
What could they have possibly been fighting about to make a man want to throw himself from a moving car? Well, off the top of our heads…
5. Maybe this guy firmly believes that girls can’t drive. “When girls drive, people get hurt.” he’d say…but she was actually doing ok this time, so something had to be done. He’s kind of a hero really.
4.After years of choosing to do retarded stuff like this despite his better judgement, he thought it would just be easier going forward if he finally got rid of that better judgement permanently.
3. Maybe she had to jump a gap in the road Speed-style and needed to lose some weight…and you can’t say “Not it!” when you’re sleeping!
2. Even if he did manage to spot a quarter on the highway at 50 mph, it hardly seems worth it now.
1. Sometimes guys just want to sit quietly, even though their lady might want to ask how their day was and if their silence means he’s worried about blah blah blah…”Well, guess the only choice here is to smash my skull in to the ground and grind the ears off my head.”
photo: Chrissy Teigen (@chrissyteigen) because what the hell are we supposed to put up for a story like this? Some of these stories are harder than others to get images for, and when they get really hard, we default to attractive ladies. Well sometimes the attractive ladies come before things get really hard, but that’s a different scenario (read: penis joke).