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Todd Akin is Legitimately Retarded

Capitalism and Politics

Posted by The Editor on 20 Aug 2012
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At some point Sunday you probably heard about Senate hopeful, current Representative Todd Akin‘s thoughts on rape and abortion while talking to enemy-of-the-site Charles Jaco on Fox2. It’s been kind of a big story:

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare,” Mr. Akin said of pregnancies from rape. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

Dr. Akin is pretty clear: If you got pregnant from a “rape” it’s your fault for kinda wanting it…just a little…come on, you can admit it. It’s science! …oh wait, never mind. Akin’s prepared statement released late Sunday states that he “misspoke” and he isn’t as crazy as he sounded in that interview.

In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it’s clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year. Those who perpetrate these crimes are the lowest of the low in our society and their victims will have no stronger advocate in the Senate to help ensure they have the justice they deserve.

“…also did you know unicorns exist, studies have shown that newborn babies dislike the homosexual humor in TV’s “Will and Grace”, and my campaign manager’s dog tells me to burn things when no one else is around? He’s actually the one that explained to me how ‘legitimate rape’ works. Science is fascinating! I just wish the dog wouldn’t make me burn every book but the Bible so I could look some of this up for myself some time so I can show the other guys on the House science committee!”

(That last bit wasn’t a joke. This guy is actually on the House Science Committee.)

Akin’s November opponent, Senator Claire McCaskill had this to say via her Twitter account (@clairecmc):

Ok, we’re joking, she actually said this:

That one’s a little nicer, but either would have been acceptable.

via EVERYWHERE


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Written by The Editor


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