Getting sand thrown at you is worthy of an ass kicking, but getting “kitty sand” full of dried turds thrown at you is, well, significantly worse.
The Belleville News-Democrat reports that 46-year-old Sherri Caine of Belleville is charged with battery.
Authorities say Cain threw a cat litter box full of used litter at the 35-year-old victim Tuesday in Ever and Anon Park.
The victim agreed to press charges, and Cain was arrested.
What would cause someone to throw used litter at someone? Why was she arguing with someone while holding a full box of cat litter? How long do you think this guy will be finding kitty litter particles in his clothes and various body orifices? No one knows for sure. What we do know is that you can be charged for battery for doing this and that’s kinda awesome. We guess there’s no charge called “Eww WTF is wrong with you?” so “Battery” had to do. What’s worse here: Getting a little dried turd on you, or one of those pee-clumps? Maybe those little dried turds catch you in the eye just right and it could hurt more than you’d think, but those pee-clumps have to be just horrible. Tough call.
The real victim here is the poor cat of course who was probably pumped when it was getting it’s litter box cleaned, and then very sad when it wasn’t refilled after being flung at some guy. Yeah yeah, the guy had a rough day, but what would you think if someone came in to your place and threw your toilet at someone? Sure that would hurt for the victim, but he’d get better…and he’d be able to go to his place and take a crap while he heals up. You’d have to poop in an uncomfortable place for the foreseeable future which means you’d be holding it all the time, or then saving it for work and ugh, no one likes to go at work because everyone peeks at the feet under the stall door to see if they can figure out who’s pooping. It’s like a horrible spy game. You can’t ever buy cool interesting shoes if you poop at work because everyone like “Hey, cool shoes!” but they’re really thinking “Yeah, I know those shoes. You’re a grunter.”