Update from 11:30am below.
A 21 year-old O’Fallon man has been arrested after doing the following:
1. Beating a 29-year old woman with a “medieval weapon”
2. Being naked in public.
3. Living in a trailer park.*
4. Trying to reach for an officer’s gun.
5. Actually stealing the officer’s stun gun.
6. Hitting the officer with the stun gun.
7. Most likely grazing someone with his junk while all this naked movement was happening.
8. Bitting the officer in the face.
9. (Probably) Making the officer cry, or at least putting on of those “Oh man, my life is crazy!” Facebook posts up.*
10. Getting shot and bleeding on stuff.*
11. Being on drugs.
12. Smiling in his mugshot despite the fact that he was shot.*
13: Update: We heard from a source that told us the smiling mugshot above we grabbed from KMOV is actually from a previous arrest (naturally). It seems he hasn’t been booked yet for this current crime and won’t be until he’s released from the hospital. There’s a really good chance that the next mugshot is going to be super monkey ninja awesome too, because here’s another mugshot from that past arrest:*
Update x 2: So we were asked to remove the mugshot, and…ugh…ok, fine. Here’s a drawing of what it looked like:
* Not technically a crime.