Early Sunday morning a drunk guy wandered in to someone’s house in Columbia, Illinois, grabbed a bowl of cereal and made himself at home. He didn’t sneak in, just came right in through the front door, right passed the home owner and chilled in their kitchen.
“He walked into the house. The dad met him in the living room. He thought he was a friend of one of his sons at first.”
Michael Scales felt so at home, he helped himself to some cereal, “I think that’s just something, like the gentleman was comfortable enough that he saw the food there and started eating it, and that led dad to believe ‘he must be one of my son’s friends’ or something along that line.”
Once the family realized that they didn’t know the guy, the cops were called and he was arrested and charged with misdemeanor trespassing. Apparently he was drunk and confused thinking he was at his friends house who lived a few blocks away.
These people wouldn’t even give the drunk kid some cereal?! That’s just flat out un-neighborly! If a guy came in to Punching Kitty HQ one morning and wanted some cereal, we’d gladly hook him up! Not “Lucky Charms” hook him up, but certainly “been in there a while Frosted Flakes” hook him up. After he’d get done with his cereal and maybe a complementary glass of orange juice, we’d escort the gentleman to the basement where he’d be tied up with his pants removed…and he’d be promptly sacrificed to free agent Albert Pujols as was foretold by the Book of St. Louis Sports Gods in the waning days of 2011. Pujols wants 10 years, and 15 human sacrifices, so what are we going to do? Let a few murders get in the way of not signing him? No, that’s silly. He’s like the Latino Stan Musial, and no one’s going to miss a guy that walks in to strangers house to eat their breakfast.