Oh those crafty folks running St. Louis! Parking tickets are a good revenue stream for the city, but what happens when people aren’t violating parking rules enough? If only we could make them think it was ok to park there and then say it wasn’t so they’d have to give us money?
[ Scene: St. Louis City Budget Meeting]
Mayor Slay: We need more money! The damn cops keep asking for more, we can’t cut any more services, we’re hemorrhaging people and we our plan to dig up and move North St. Louis with 100 helicopters over to Illinois still isn’t a viable option. We need money and you are my best idea men! Go!
Chip: We could start taxing the price of moving vans!
Slay: Hmm…not bad. What else?
Mitch: What if we get more parking fine?
Slay: How are we supposed to do that?
Mitch: Well what if we go a street where you can park on the street in the middle of the day and then put up a bunch of no parking signs so that later on meter maids can come through and make all those people give us money?
Slay: Really? Seriously?! I can not believe you would even suggest something so…utterly amazing! OMG! Lets go do it right now! I love you Mitch!
[Cut to Grand yesterday morning]
Motorists who parked at the Grand Boulevard Metro Station Thursday morning came back this afternoon to find tickets on their cars.
The city is banning parking, due to up-coming construction on the Grand Boulevard bridge.
The problem is the no-parking signs weren’t there this morning. Even construction workers were ticketed.
[…back to the meeting.]
Mitch: I love you too sir! …if this doesn’t work, we can try hanging a magnifying glass on the Arch and burn up East St. Louis like an ant!
Slay: What would that do for our revenues?
Mitch: What? Oh..nothing I guess.
Slay: Ok. Lets put that idea in the maybe pile anyway.
Yes…the ticket thing seriously happend, though admittedly maybe not quite as we have portrayed it here. (It was probably totally close to that though!)